Mister Seahorse/Quotes
Doc: How do I say this, your friend is...
Church: All right, are we paying for this service? Because, if we are, I want a refund. And if we're not, I want a refund anyway.
Church: Why are you pausing? Caboose is not gonna interrupt you this time.
Doc: No, that was just for dramatic effect. He's pregnant.
Caboose: Oh, good... Wait, what?
O'Malley: Hmhmhmhmhm, preggers, muahaha!—Red vs. Blue, Episode 76
Dave: I mean, Helen's something special. I've fallen for women before, but never like this. I look at her, and I see myself spending my life with her... I see us growing old together... I see myself bearing her children...
Dave: No, I'm trying to be realistic about this.
Artie: Er, don't you mean you see her bearing your--
Greg: When I got home that night,
Wayne: ...I'm a dude! What the hell!
Colin: My ovaries did swell,
Ryan: I puffed up like Jiffy-Pop—Whose Line Is It Anyway??, the "Got Pregnant on a Date" Irish Drinking Song
"I was watching Animal Planet, did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, 'Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?' You know it's just some stubborn scientist:
'...the male has the baby. You're fired.'"
'Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse.'
'Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby.'
"Well, there's good news -- you've had a baby; the bad news is, it's blown your cock off!"—Frankie Boyle, Mock the Week.
Frylock: Meatwad, you cannot possibly be pregnant!
Meatwad: Really? Awesome! I always wanted a gender!
Meatwad: Why not?
Frylock: Because you're a... you're... you're a... ...damn it, you're a male!—"Gee Whiz", Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Stan: I want to have babies.
Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?
Reg: You want to have babies?!?!
Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But ... you can't HAVE babies!
Stan: Don't you oppress me!
M-Preg: Since there exists no fanfic genre of ‘M-PMT’ or ‘M-bloody awful period pain’, this is one outlet to make your characters get all the suffering of being female with none of the benefits. Bwahahaahahaa!
"I am Kirk and Spock's illegitimate butt baby. ... Kock."—Andy Dick
Neil: But that's impossible!
Vyvyan: Yeah, that's what she said! You just can't trust women, can you?