Malevolent Architecture/Quotes

"This is a temple dedicated to evil. It's built on a desecrated burial ground where other more ancient desecrated burial grounds went when they got evil built over them. The architect was a Necromancer and the contractors were in the Eldritch Mafia."

—Drizz'l, Eight Bit Theater

White Mage: What I want to know is this: HOW did you get us lost?
Black Belt: Look. This isn't as easy as I make it look, y'know. It's not like this is some ordinary run-down castle. This is the Temple of Fiends! FIENDS, I say! Do you have any idea what that does to a place? Hm? Do you? This is architecture of insanity. The towers of madness! So excuse me if we have trouble navigating through the abnormal psychology imbued within these walls.

White Mage: "Abnormal psychology"? "Architecture of insanity?" What are you babbling about? This castle isn't some twisted experiment in non-euclidean geometry! It wasn't erected by demons of madness and it's not built on purely theoretical Escher-teric physics. It's a straight run! A blind, mentally deficient monkey could've found his way!

Black Belt: These monkeys of which you speak. Are they mentally deficient by human standards or by monkey standards? Because that could really make a difference, if ya think about it.

—Eight Bit Theater

"So, this must be Garland's haunted mansion... Talk about bad taste in interior decorating."

—Zidane, Final Fantasy IX

"God, who designed this room, M.C. Escher? ...Why is there a ladder here if it doesn't go anywhere? I don't know... a scientist's job is to try to make sense of the world around him, but this whole building is crazy. Blocked exits. Gordian Knot airducts. A giant box-smashing room. It doesn't add up! The only time I feel like I know what I'm doing is when I'm shooting or breaking things..."

—Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

YES! GIVE ME MORE HAZARDS! I JUST CAN'T HAVE ENOUGH!

—Gordon Freeman again, Freeman's Mind

A schedule for the Derailed Express. Huh. It's scheduled to derail at 4:15. Weird.

—Wario Land Shake It, description for the Derailed Express Timetable

"I don't believe in a standing army. I believe in cruel and unusual architecture."

—Dwarf Fortress player Pickled Tink, on the forums

Sweet Bro: FUCK IM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS...................
Hella Jeff: I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO!!!! I TOLD YOU DOG!
Sweet Bro: IT KEEPS HAPPENING

Hella Jeff: I TOLD YOU MAN I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS!

—Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, extolling the inherent evil of stairs