Mad Doctor/Quotes

Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, your heart's of blackest kind
Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, the raw perverted mind
Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, masskiller on the grind
Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, a modern Frankenstein

—Dr. Horror by Running Wild

I know you're desperate, I really sympathize
I see the morbid horror flicker in your eyes
But rest assured I'm gonna help to ease your pain
I'm gonna put a thousand tiny implants in your brain

—Motorhead, I'm the Doctor

Mr. Herriott insists on being called "Dr.", having a Ph.D. in naturopathic medicine, but is strangely reticent to mention where it comes from--possibly because the true center of naturopathy, Narnia, can only be found by those pure of heart.

—Cracked.com, "5 Books That Can Actually Make You Stupider"

Ze healing is not as rewarding as ze hurting.

—The Medic, Team Fortress 2

Wait, wait, it gets better... When ze patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and ze doctor was never heard from again! Ahahahahahaha! ...Anyway, zat's how I lost my medical license.

—The Medic, Team Fortress 2

You should be grateful. Once I remove your skin you will feel so much cooler...

—Urien Rakarth, Master Haemonculus, Warhammer 40,000

Fetch me another plaything. This one seems to have broken.

—Urien Rakarth, Warhammer 40,000

Operate! Operate! Still time to operate!

—Mad Dok Grotsnik, Warhammer 40,000

Now this is gonna 'urt a LOT but you'll be bettah, you'll see!

—The Mad Dok, Dawn of War

One more word out of you and I'll perform another unnecessary surgery!

—Doctor Oscar Schneiderbunk, Visser M.D., Phoenix Command

Steinman: Four-oh silk and... done.
Nurse: The nose looks terrific, Doctor Steinman. ...Doctor?
Steinman: You know, looking at it now... I didn't realize how much her face sags... Scalpel.
Nurse: Excuse me?
Steinman: Scalpel!
Nurse: Uh, doctor, she's not booked for a face lift...
Steinman: Let's just come in here and... (begins whistling cheerfully)
Nurse: Doctor... stop cutting... Doctor, stop cutting! Get me the chief of surgery! Get me the chief of surgery now!

—Audio Diary, "Not What She Wanted," BioShock (series)

ABOVE ALL DO NO HARM

—Dr. Steinmann (scrawled in the blood of his patients), BioShock (series)

What can I do with this one, Aphrodite? She won't! Stay! Still! I want to make them beautiful, but they always turn out wrong! That one, too fat! This one, too tall! This one, too symmetrical! And now... what's this, Goddess? An intruder?! He's ugly! Ugly! Ugly! UGLYYYYYYYY!

—Dr. Steinmann, BioShock (series)

You don't like it? But almost everyone has two hands! Five digits? Pffff. How boring! You, now... you're interesting now!

—Ratchet, Transformers: Shattered Glass, on Rodimus not being impressed with his new buzzsaw hand

As the mad surgeon said, "Mind if I... cut in?"

—Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Dr. Barber: Hmmm...good news. You have the plague.
Patient: Why is that good news?

Dr. Barber: Because now I get to conduct medical experiments!

—The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack