Literal-Minded/Quotes

Now then, this particular Assyrian, the one whose cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold,
Just what does the poet mean when he says he came down like a wolf on the fold?
In heaven and earth more than is dreamed of in our philosophy there are great many things.
But I don't imagine that among them there is a wolf with purple and gold cohorts or purple and gold anythings.
No, no, Lord Byron, before I'll believe that this Assyrian was actually like a wolf I must have some kind of proof;
Did he run on all fours and did he have a hairy tail and a big red mouth and big white teeth and did he say Woof Woof?
Frankly I think it is very unlikely, and all you were entitled to say, at the very most,

Was that the Assyrian cohorts came down like a lot of Assyrian cohorts about to destroy the Hebrew host.

—Ogden Nash, "Very Like A Whale"

In your otherwise beautiful poem, one verse reads,
Every moment dies a man,
Every moment one is born.
If this were true, the population of the world would be at a standstill. In truth, the rate of birth is slightly in excess of that of death. I would suggest [that the next edition of your poem should read]:
Every moment dies a man,
Every moment 1 1/16 is born.

Strictly speaking, the actual figure is so long I cannot get it into a line, but I believe the figure 1 1/16 will be sufficiently accurate for poetry.

—Charles Babbage, in a letter to Alfred Tennyson

Please, I'm a scientist; I don't think, I observe.

—Dr. Clayton Forrester, Mystery Science Theater Three Thousand

"As I've explained repeatedly to Dr. Kuthrapali, whose ability to comprehend the American idiom fails him when it's convenient..."

—Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory

"This guy's becoming a major pain in my ass-"

"I detect no damage in the gluteal area."

—Darius Mason and S.A.M, Red Faction Armageddon

In the same way work which obviously aspires and claims to be mature, if the critic dislikes it, will be called adolescent; not because the critic has really seen that its faults are those of adolescence but because he has seen that adolescence is the last thing the author wishes or expects to be accused of.

—Lewis, C. S., Studies in Words (Kindle Locations 4852-4854). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

Adolescent or provincial are not so good. For even when they are honestly used, to define, not merely to hurt, they really suggest a cause for the book’s badness instead of describing the badness itself. We are saying in effect ‘He was led into his faults by being immature’ or ‘by living in Lancashire’.}

—Lewis, C. S., Studies in Words (Kindle Locations 4862-4864). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.