Lich King

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    Bragging rights the spoils in a war of tiny men
     When the dust begins to settle, the fight begins again
     Pettiness a virtue, the badge of piss and pride
     What you have created, it's a thrash crime
     Harvesting rewards from the hours used in spite
     Tearing out the throat of a fool because it's right
     Obfuscate the meaning and re-educate the swine

    Opinion is invalid, it's a thrash crime
    —"Act of War"

    Over there in Norway, the churches all burn down
     Let's go dress in goth clothes and get painted like a clown
     Awesome leather armbands with spikes like two feet long
     Hair is parted down the middle, frowning like a frog
     In league with the devil, talking Satan, skulls and hell
     Making mommy mad, cause that's original
     If you hate good music, then it can't hurt to go

    Image-conscious assholes, black metal fashion show
    —"Black Metal Sucks"

    Lich King is a Thrash Metal band from Massachusetts that was founded in 2004 by vocalist Tom Martin (who may have also played some or all of the instruments for the first two albums; the real identities of the musicians on those albums are not given). Lich King are heavily influenced by Exodus, Vio-Lence, and Slayer and are known for their humorous lyrics, Heavy Meta, and their very brash image and promotional techniques. The band finally found its feet in 2009-2010 with its third LP World Gone Dead, which featured a full band lineup and massively improved production.

    Current lineup:

    • Tom Martin - Vocals
    • Brian Westbrook - Drums
    • Rob Pellegri - Guitars
    • Joe Nickerson - Bass/Guitars

    Former members:

    • Kevin Taylor - Guitars
    • Erick Herrera - Guitars

    Albums:

    Lich King provides examples of the following tropes:
    • Boastful Thrash: Too many of their songs to list, most notably "Black Metal Sucks"
    • Black Sheep Hit: "Black Metal Sucks" was just goofy album filler before it aroused an Internet Backdraft of epic proportions and instantly multiplied Lich King's recognition several times, much to the band's delight.
    • Bragging Theme Tune: The eponymous "Lich King" songs, one on each album.
    • Chiptune: Super Retro Thrash is a compilation of various Lich King songs transposed to NES chiptunes.
    • Cover Version: "Another Lesson in Violence" by Exodus, "Bodies on Bodies", and "Aggressive Perfector"
    • Did Not Do the Research: Some have claimed that Lich King got its name from World of Warcraft: The Wrath of the Lich King , but Lich King formed before that expansion was released.
      • The Lich King appeared in Warcraft III Reign of Chaos. The game was released in 2002. Still unlikely though.
    • Disproportionate Retribution: "Grindwheel" is about crushing a burglar to death under a millstone.
    • Epic Instrumental Opener: The simply named "Intro" from World Gone Dead
    • Epic Riff: "Attack of the Wrath of the War of the Death of the Strike of the Sword of the Blood of the Beast", "Act of War", "ED-209", "Lich King III"
    • Flame Bait: "Black Metal Sucks". The band wouldn't have it any other way.
    • Heavy Meta: And how!
    • Heavy Mithril: "A Storm of Swords", based on A Song of Ice and Fire
    • Mascot: The Lich King, featured prominently on the band's album covers.
    • Love It or Hate It: You will either like Lich King or you will...not like Lich King. Let's leave it at that.
    • One of Us: Tom Martin has written songs about RoboCop, A Song of Ice and Fire, and Predator, and Joe Nickerson wears a Thundercats T-shirt in the World Gone Dead band photo.
    • Refuge in Audacity: Say what you want about their sense of humor, they have huge brass ones.
    • Serious Business: Lich King loves to make light of everyone's Serious Business.
    • Take That: "Black Metal Sucks"
    • The Gadfly: Tom Martin, and he's really good at it too.
    • This Is Sparta: From "Waste":

    HUMAN HISTORY DIDN'T NEED YOU! YOU AREN'T WANTED! AND! ARE! DISMIIIIIIIIIIIIISSED!

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