LOLcats/Characters
List of LOLcats according to Cheezburger Confidential.
Individual Characters
Happycat
The happiest creature on the planet. 1337% happier than normal cats. Loves cheeseburgers and will ask you for one.
- Berserk Button: The only known instance of Happycat not being happy occurred when he went to order a cheezburger, but they were all out of them. He then became so angry that his head detached from his body and started firing laser beams at civilians. Police arrived in time with cheezburgers to settle the issue.
- Perpetual Smiler
- Trademark Favorite Food: Cheezburgers.
Dr. Tinycat
A tiny cat that is also a doctor. That's really all you need to know.
- Bunny Ears Lawyer
- Cloudcuckoolander: Kind of.
- Deadpan Snarker: Partly as a result of the Vicodin he takes for his condition.
- Dr. Jerk: His condition causes him pain sometimes, so he takes Vicodin for it. Unfortunately, said pills make him a bit cold and sarcastic.
- Insufferable Genius
- Kitten Prodigy
Ceiling Cat
Feline deity that watches us all from the infinite ceiling. Capable of miraculous deeds, but prefers a good nap.
- Big Good
- Crystal Dragon Jesus
- God
- Good Counterpart: To Basement Cat.
- King of All Cosmos: And how!
- Memetic Mutation: Ceiling Cat is watching you catstrabate.
Basement Cat
Evil black cat that resides in the basement of eternity. Known for eating souls and recruiting minions to do his evil deeds.
Hipster Kitty
A cat so obscure, it's hip. Last seen wearing an expensive vintage hoodie and growing a mustache.
- Hipster: Duh.
- It's Popular, Now It Sucks: Believes in this.
Longcat
The longest cat known to exist. Longcat is unable to be measured with current cat measurment technology. Longcat is long.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: Longcat used to be extremely short. Then he wished to become longer, and his Literal Genie granted it to him. He eventually became so long that he ended up in space.
- Good Counterpart: to Tacgnol
- Longcat Can Breathe In Space
- Shaped Like Itself: Longcat Is Long.
Moral Grey Area Kitteh
Ethically ambiguous cat. Makes moral choices that are neither completely good or evil. Cat lawyer for hire.
- Amoral Attorney: Being morally grey, a lawyer was the perfect job for him.
- Astonishingly Appropriate Appearance: He's "Moral Grey Area Kitteh", so naturally he's grey.
- Grey and Grey Morality
Serious Cat
A cat capable of epic levels of seriousness. Has gone 2,632 days without cracking a smile. Current age: 2,632 days.
- The Comically Serious
- Grumpy Bear
- Perpetual Frowner
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Well, sesquipedalian is one of his favorite serious-sounding words.
- The Stoic: He always keeps a serious expression no matter what.
Tacgnol
Mindless evil clone of Longcat. Created by Basement Cat to create havoc on the world. If seen, run for your life.
- Dark Is Evil: Black cat. Seriously...
- Evil Counterpart: To Longcat.
- Inherently Dirty-Sounding Words: "coccyx", "masticate" and "Volvo", according to his reference page.
- Tyke Bomb: Sort of. He was made for the purpose of being a pure evil counterpart to Longcat.
Lolrus
A giant seal that is fond of his little blue bucket. Bucket was stolen by a bad man. Lolrus has been searching for it ever since.
- Companion Cube/Cargo Ship: Lolrus and Bukkit.
- Determinator: Lolrus will stop at nothing to find his Bukkit.
- Good with Numbers: Bukkit is a bit of a math nerd.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Fishies.
Kitler
- Those Wacky Nazis: It's the cat version of Hitler, what do you expect?
Groups, Organizations, Other
The Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh
Secret society of small kitties making sure that the world stays adorable. Like Fight Club only without fighting.
- Everythings Cuter With Kittens
- I'm Taking Her Home with Me: Guarenteed, you will have this reaction to them.
- Moe: Their society's conditions require members to be this. Small, adorable, and must be adorable while doing something that is decidedly not cute. Like barfing.
- Ridiculously Cute Critter: Their whole shtick.