Kiss of Distraction

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    Someone (usually but not always a woman) needs something from someone else (usually but not always a man). So Alice lays on the liplock, and when Bob recovers from post-kiss bliss, he finds out that his wallet, or key, or secret plans, or map, or weapon, has been stolen. Or his enemies have all escaped, or sneaked into the castle, or he's been chained to his chair.

    Of course in all this kissing, the kisser usually gets more than she (or he) is bargaining for and gets a little carried away her/himself.

    Can be used to ignite or ramp up UST between two characters, or to indulge in some Foe Yay. Differs from the Fake-Out Make-Out because in that case both people are faking the kissing in order to cover up that they're trying to do something nefarious. Distinct from Distracted by the Sexy because in this case the sexy is not just wandering by but in your face.

    A favorite tactic of the Lovable Rogue, Classy Cat Burglar, Gentleman Thief, Femme Fatale and particularly Affectionate Pickpocket.

    The Batman exception: This ploy is not likely to work on a kissee who is Crazy Prepared or even just Properly Paranoid. In especially unfortunate cases may also be a Kiss of Death. Compare "Shut Up" Kiss.

    Not to be confused with the Fake-Out Make-Out.


    Examples of Kiss of Distraction include:

    Anime and Manga

    • In an episode of Code Geass, Lelouch enters a near-kiss state with Kallen to prevent her from seeing C.C. Later, "Lelouch" kisses Shirley to distract her from seeing a secret door opening.


    Film

    • Disney's Aladdin: In an attempt to keep Jafar from seeing Aladdin going for the lamp, Jasmine starts off by showing some leg, but in order to keep Jafar's attention she is forced to kiss him. Unfortunately Aladdin is so grossed out by the sight that he pauses and it ends up not working.
    • In Pirates of the Caribbean 2, Dead Man's Chest, Elizabeth kisses Jack in order to distract him while she shackles him to the deck of the Pearl when the Kraken is coming, essentially sending him to his death.
      • Also, in Pirates of the Caribbean 4, Captain Jack lands inside an aristocrat's (played by Dame Judi Dench!) carriage. To the lady's delight, Jack smooches her ear, then scarpers. Judi giggles like a teenager, then realises that her ostentatious jewelled earring is missing, whereupon we cut to Jack with her earring hanging from his mouth. Om nom nom.
    • The Great Race: Maggie Dubois handcuffs herself to Leslie to force him to listen to her. Leslie kisses her and when he breaks the kiss it's revealed he has somehow not only escaped, but put the cuff on her other hand.
    • "Operation Smooch" at the end of In Like Flint.
    • Maverick: This is a favorite technique of Annabelle, which she usually uses to steal things. Maverick is very Genre Savvy about it. An Aren't You Going to Ravish Me? moment leds him to say, "Are you crazy? I'm not going to sleep with you! I'd wake up with all kinds of things missing!"
    • |Mission Impossible 2: Nayah distracts Dimitri with a kiss while stealing the envelope containing the memory card from his pocket.
    • The Mummy 1999: Evy kisses Imhotep in order to break his concentration so the sandstorm he's creating to kill the heroes disperses.
    • In Get Smart (2008 movie), Agent 99 kisses the bad guy when she, Max and the bad guy are all plummeting through the air, to get him to go away. Later Max uses the same trick.
    • In the second National Treasure movie, Abagail and Gates have to search the US President's antique Resolute desk. Abagail gets them into the Oval Office via a White House staff member she's dating, then pretends to lose an earring which they both crawl about on the floor trying to find, while Gates secretly checks out the desk. The staff member 'finds' the earring, and when Abagail sees Gates still needs more time, she begins to snog him passionately to show her 'gratitude', much to the bemusement of her ex-boyfriend Gates.
    • Coming to America: During Akeem's second date with Lisa, they go to a museum where they see an exhibit about Zamunda, Akeem's home country. But when he sees a photograph of himself as the Prince with his King and Queen parents, he immediately kisses her to keep her from seeing it.

    Literature

    • Taken Up to Eleven early on in Tigana; Catriana and Devin are stuck in a tight secret passageway, and she has sex with him in an (unsuccessful) attempt to stop him from hearing a conversation in the next room.

    Live-Action TV

    • Doctor Who:
      • In the episode "The Doctor's Daughter", while imprisoned, Jenny seduces a guard and grabs his gun during the kiss.
      • In "Closing Time", the Doctor attempts this on Craig, to prevent him from noticing a Cyberman coming up menacingly behind, and momentarily succeeds in distracting him only by dint of his unusual behaviour.
    • Marian in BBC's Robin Hood uses this technique all the time on Guy of Gisborne. Whenever he's about to catch Robin or his gang breaking a law, outwitting the Sheriff, or sneaking into the castle, she would kiss Guy, or promise to marry him, or otherwise take advantage of his obsession with her.
    • Star Trek: Enterprise: In one episode, Captain Archer is undercover on a pre-industrial alien world, and doing some covert work alongside an alien chick. When his Universal Translator breaks and he can no longer understand her, he smooches the woman to shut her up and distract her long enough so he can fix the translator behind her back. Subverted at the end of the episode when he gives her a goodbye kiss and she quips: "Is your translator broken again?"
    • Supernatural 6.10 ("Caged Heat") has Meg kissing Castiel in order to distract him and steal his angel-killing scimitar from his trench coat. Backfires when Cas spins her around and kisses back, dumbfounding not only Meg but the Winchesters as well.
    • In the Castle episode "Eye Of The Beholder", Castle kisses Serena in the hotel corridor in order to let Beckett and Esposito get away after searching her room. Subverted when they don't and instead arrest her after finding some evidence in said room. Bonus points for making Beckett jealous.
    • In the House episode "Half-Wit", Cameron kisses House to distract him while drawing blood, but he catches her.
    • The Middleman: Lacey gets a videotape of Noser's ventriloquism performance away from Pip by distracting him with a kiss. Later on, Pip tries to explain to Joe that he had a tape of the performance but Lacey stole it, but Joe doesn't believe she would do such a thing. When Pip explains that she distracted him with a kiss, Joe laughs and says, "Yeah, this story's getting easier to believe..."
    • In the Community episode "Modern Warefare", Britta abruptly kisses Jeff during an argument about whether or not she gets to have a paintball gun; once they break apart Britta triumphantly holds up the gun, revealing that she had taken it from Jeff's pocket during the kiss.
    • In Friends, Joey kisses Mrs Green (Rachel's mother) to stop her from seeing her ex-husband emerging from Rachel's "other" party. Amazingly, this succeeds in preventing both Rachel's parents from finding out about the other party.

    Theatre

    • In The Music Man, Marian Paroo plants one on Charlie Cowell to distract him, causing him to miss his train.

    Video Games

    Web Comic

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