< Jurassic Park

Jurassic Park/Funny


Nick Van Owen (awkwardly, gesturing between the reunited father and daughter): Do you see any family resemblance here?

  • The sequence in The Lost World when the Tyrannosaurus is rampaging through San Diego: while chasing Malcolm and Harding in their car, San Diego police and Animal Control show up. They have just enough time to get one good look at the T. rex before it roars and they throw their cars into reverse.
    • Also in that sequence, Ian and Sarah are trying to get the T-Rex's attention so they can lead it back to the boat.

Sarah: "You think he knows we're here?"

  • CRASH! The 76 ball off of the nearby gas station rolls past their car.*

Ian: "He knows."

    • Also from the T-Rex's rampage we have a man doing a Godzilla Shout-Out saying "I left Japan to get away from this" in Japanese.
    • Yet another moment during the Tyrannosaurus' rampage is when he gets into a suburban backyard to drink out of a swimming pool, with a pet dog barking angrily at him from it's doghouse as he drinks. Meanwhile, a little boy sees the Tyrannosaurus and excitedly wakes his parents up so they can see the dinosaur. They wake up pissed, but are soon terrified when they actually see him while the boy is still excited. And the cherry on top? The scene ends with the Tyrannosaurus dropping the now empty doghouse.
  • From the first film, when Nedry and Dodgson meet before Nedry leaves for the park:

Dodgson: "You shouldn't use my name."
Nedry: "Dodgson! Dodgson! We have Dodgson here!" (Beat) "See? Nobody cares."

  • After Grant retrieves Tim from a car stuck in a tree, the branches snap and the car comes loose, crashing down through the tree and landing on top of them (luckily the roof was missing, creating a safe spot), and then...

Tim: "Well...we're back...in the car again."

    • Later, everyone has to climb a tree to stay safe for the night. Tim objects.

Lex: "I don't have any problem with trees."
Tim: "Yeah well you weren't in the last one."

    • At the end as they flee the visitor center:

Grant: "Mr. Hammond, after due deliberation I've decided not to endorse your park."
Hammond: "So have I."

  • (Gennaro bolts upon seeing the T. rex and hides in a toilet cubicle. Alan and Ian see this but not the T. rex.)

Alan: "Where does he think he's going?"
Ian: "When you gotta go, you gotta go."

    • Of course, it gets even better during the famous scene where the Tyrannosaurus knocks the cubicle over exposing a terrified Gennaro stuck on the toilet before he gets snapped up and devoured. What a shitty way to die.
  • In the sequel, Malcolm asks Nick why he joined Greenpeace. His answer: Women. Malcolm's response: "Noble, very noble."
  • This gem from early on in the first movie, after Malcolm, Sattler, and Grant all argue against Jurassic Park:

Hammond: "I don't believe it! Hah! I don't believe it! You're supposed to come here and defend me against these characters and the only one I've got on my side is the bloodsucking lawyer!"
Gennaro: "Thank you."

  • When attempting to fix Jurassic Park's computer problem:

Nedry (on computer): Unh-unh-uh, you didn't say the magic word! Unh-unh-uh. Unh-unh-uh...
Arnold: PLEASE! Goddamnit, I hate this hacker crap!

  • In the third movie, Grant and Eric meet up with the Kirbys and Billy. Both parties have heard the jingle from Paul's satellite phone and used it to find each other. Paul, however, realizes that he loaned it to Nash, who got eaten by the Spinosaurus earlier. Just then, the group hears the phone jingle, and everyone looks to see the Spinosaurus standing several feet away. Oh Crap, indeed.
    • Even better? The way the Spinosaurus is designed makes it look like it's wearing a shit-eating grin as it stares down the group.
  • Also from the third movie, Grant and company stumble upon a dinosaur's corpse. Just after Grant tells everyone the dinosaur is dead, a Tyrannosaurus lifts its head in front of them. Everyone freezes, and Grant says "Nobody move a muscle." Then the T-Rex roars, and everyone BUT Grant turns and runs away.
  • Third movie again, in Grant's presentation when he asks for questions. Everybody throws their hands up:

Grant: "Does anybody have a questions that does not relate to Jurassic Park?"

Grant: "...or the incident in San Diego, which I did not witness?"

  • only one hand remains up*
  • Also in the third movie, during the Spinosaurus attacking the plane scene, Paul runs out calling for Amanda. The Spinosaurus roars and he hauls ass back in the plane.
  • In the iconic scene where everyone sees their first live dinosaur, Ellie is preoccupied with the leaf of an extinct plant she picked up. Finally Grant grabs her head and physically makes her look.
  • The moment when Lex decides she wants to stroke the brachiosaurus after seeing Grant and Tim do it... and it promptly sneezes all over her.

Tim: God bless you!

  • Ellie and Muldoon discovering the injured Malcolm:

Malcolm: Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend.

  • There's several instances in Jurassic Park: The Game where humor is sprinkled throughout
    • At one point, a character puts a jeep in reverse to get away from the dilophosaurus. Cue one behind the jeep letting out a shriek before it's run over.
  • In the second movie, Roland Tembo has quite a bit of trouble with the pronunciation of the dinosaurs' names.

[Chasing dinosaurs on the game trail]
Tembo: You're coming up on a...
[flips through his dinosaur guide]
Tembo: A Pachy... a pachy... oh, hell. Uh, the fathead with the bald spot. Friar Tuck!

    • And later it seems like his team is having fun with his explanations:

Hunter: Say again, Roland, a what?
Tembo: The one with the big red horn. Pompadour. Elvis!

  • The second film, when the group, looking for Sarah, finally sees their first dinosaur and naturally, Eddie and Nick are slack-jawed while Ian is unimpressed. Ian asks them why they're so shocked and Nick tries to explain that he didn't really think he'd see actual dinosaurs.

Malcolm: What did you think you were gonna see?
Nick: Animals. Maybe, uh, b-big iguanas.
Malcolm: (shakes his head) Fruitcake.

  • The crown jewel of the second film is when Nick, Sarah, and Malcolm are dangling perilously in the trailer about to fall off a cliff and still have time to be sarcastic.

Eddie: (yells down to them) What do you need?
Malcolm: ROPE!
Eddie: Rope! What, anything else?
Malcolm: Yeah! Three cheeseburgers with extra pickles.
Nick: No onions on mine!
Sarah: And an apple turnover!

  • This line from the first movie:
  • When Dennis Nedry slips down the slope after his jeep gets stuck in the rain, there is a cartoonish whoosh clearly audible.
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