Jumanji/Funny

• Monkey madness dosen't begin to cover this movie.

Sarah (worried she might be seeing things): You just saw three monkeys go by on a motorcycle, didn't you?
Judy: Yeah.
Sarah: Good girl.

• Sarah and Alan try to understand the crazy hunter from the game.

Alan: He's a hunter. He kills things, that's what he does. And right now, he wants to hunt me and kill me, okay?
Sarah: Why you?
Alan: Why me? I don't know. Everything about me he finds offensive. You'd think it'd be a waste of his time. Maybe he needs something for his wall, you know, a Parrish - something to go between penguin and partridge.

• After Alan congratulates Judy on her quick thinking.

Alan: Sarah and I would very much like to get out of the floor now, so it's your turn, Peter.

• After a huge vine has swiped Carl's police car.

Carl: Fine! Take it!

• • And before that, when the vine slithers past Carl's face and he starts screaming and jumps out the car.
• Again, Carl is the universe's whipping boy.

Carl: I should've been a fireman!

• Van Pelt declares that Alan should be arriving 'any moment now'. He arrives almost exactly then... screaming, in a cop car, crashing through cheap walls, and colliding with a wall of paint-cans that falls on Van Pelt.
• After a music stand and trombone prove useless at getting Alan out of the quicksand: "Stop giving me things that come apart!"
• The scene where Peter scrambles to find a way into the shed to get the axe the group desperately needs. He finds the door locked, and can't get in, so he grabs a nearbye axe and starts whaling away with it... only to stop, take a look at the axe, then at the camera, and runs back to the group.
• Aunt Nora tries to call the house in the middle of all the chaos.

Judy, in a posh British accent: Oh, I'm sorry, dear, you have the wrong number.

• When Carl and Aunt Nora get blown away by the water bursting through the doors...then float down the street on the flood, clinging to the doors, see the crocodile swim between them--and scream.
• When Alan asks Sarah if she's crazy when she asks about fighting the psycho with the elephant rifle, she retorts with a deadpan putdown that must be heard to be truly appreciated:

Sarah: Don't ever call me crazy, Alan. Ever. 'Cause everyone in the town has called me crazy ever since I told the cops that you were sucked into a board game.