Juggling Loaded Guns

Guns don't kill people, doughnuts kill people.

Rocko Dillon: [fires a gunshot into the air to silence the audience] Freeze, and nobody gets hurt!
[a guy falls from the rafters into the orchestra]
Rocko Dillon: Well... from now on!

—The Naked Gun 33 1/3

You know how you shouldn't screw around with guns because they're dangerous? Well, the normal rules don't apply when it comes to comedy. Whether it's the police chief eating donuts off his gun barrel or some clown juggling loaded guns, the normal rules of safety don't apply.

Frequently results in Amusing Injuries from gunshot wounds or a superficial case of Ash Face. Caused by whichever combination of Artistic License Gun Safety, Reckless Gun Usage and Shur Fine Guns would maximize the laughs. When gunshot wounds are used seriously, that's I Just Shot Marvin in the Face. See also Remonstrating with a Gun.

Not to be confused with Cartoon Juggling, though actually juggling loaded guns in any cartoon (or Real Life, for that matter), is probably just as bad an example as any of these following examples.

Examples of Juggling Loaded Guns include:

Anime and Manga

  • Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann: When Kamina is first given a gun he pretends to know how to use it, even though he doesn't know what it actually is. At first he uses it as a hammer, and after narrowly missing shooting himself in the gonads he proceeds to hold it upside down. Well, he already held it upside down when using it as a hammer; but of course, it was pointing towards him then.
  • Soul Eater: Death the Kid shoots Soul and Black*Star during their bromance hug, when they first fight (this occurs in Episode 6/ Chapter 3). He claims "his finger slipped".
  • Asobi Ni Iku Yo: has one of the haremettes opening fire on the main character on full auto with a machinegun for the crime of having accidentally seen her naked.
    • It should be noted that said haremette ran outside stark naked to HELP the main character she subsequently shot at.
  • Full Metal Panic!? Fumoffu has a lot of gags involving this. Sousuke is perfectly capable of handling firearms safely, but has vastly distorted standards on which situations call for use of firearms and which ones do not. He opens fire on a light gun game with a real-life loaded pistol because the alternative (firing the system's light gun outside of the screen and therefore pointing it at something you aren't intending to shoot) was "too unsafe," uses a Steyr AUG to fire warning shots to chase off delinquents (a "peaceful solution" by his standards), and ends up using a loaded handgun to accidentally create a riot when trying order at a bread sale (Kaname told him to "get the seller's attention").
  • Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt: Panty's gun stops working, so she turns it around, peers into the barrel, and pulls the trigger several times. Possibly justified because her gun uses magic bullets that only kill the Monsters Of The Week, but Stocking's similar magic swords work just fine against her at the very end of the series.


Film

  • Plan 9 from Outer Space: a scene where one of the cops scratches his head with the barrel of his revolver. The possible consequence to himself, should his gun go off, would not only be hideous but poetic, as someone who would do that in the first place obviously wasn't using his brains for much to begin with. The actor who played the cop later said he was testing to see if Wood, who rarely did second takes, would notice or care (he didn't). Characters in the film also tend to wave their guns like they were pointers; at the yearly bad movie festival B-Fest, it is traditional to yell "BANG!" whenever this is done.
  • Monkey Business: a Marx Brothers film has a gangster hands revolvers to both Groucho and Zeppo on two separate occasions. Both times he does so he immediately realizes that they are absentmindedly pointing them right at him, and grabs their hands to turn the guns aside. Don't hand weapons to people who don't know proper gun safety, somebody will get shot in the face. Another gangster in the same film gives guns to Chico and Harpo.
  • The Three Stooges: If a firearm is anywhere near one of The Three Stooges, you can be assured that every basic rule of gun safety is out the window. One short even has Curly giving a pistol to a baby as a pacifier!
  • Hide And Creep: One character, a former police officer, uses his gun to emphasize other members of the group while coming up with an escape plan, in homage to Plan 9.
  • Hot Fuzz: Danny accidentally shoots the village doctor with an air gun. Later on, when Angel and Danny are gunning down the NWA during the return to the village, Danny takes down the doctor by throwing his shotgun and blowing apart his foot with the blast when it hits the ground.
    • Danny Butterman shooting the doctor in the leg is also a reference to a short conversation in Shaun of the Dead, where a character asks if anyone has any experience with guns. Ed raises his hand, and when asked about what his gun experience is, Shaun mentions that Ed shot his sister in the leg with an air rifle.
    • The air rifle gag is apparently based on a real-life incident - in the Shaun of the Dead commentary, Edgar Wright claims that his brother once shot him in the leg with an air rifle.
  • Shaun of the Dead: features a running argument between Ed and Shaun on whether or not The Winchester's namesake gun (mounted over the bar) has been deactivated:

Shaun clubs a zombie with the butt of the Winchester
Ed: "Why didn't you just shoot him, man?"
Shaun: "Ed, for the last time..."
Shaun squeezes the trigger of the gun, and it fires
Ed: "I fucking knew it!"

  • The Return of the Pink Panther: Chief Inspector Dreyfus keeps in his office desk both a real gun and a lighter that looks just like said gun. Hilarity Ensues with predictably violent results, such as when his assistant Francois, hearing a gunshot, bursts in the office to see the top half of Dreyfus' face looking up at him from behind his desk:

Dreyfus: Don't just stand there, idiot — call a doctor. And then help me find my nose!

  • In the live-action film of George of the Jungle, Lyle Van De Groot carries lighters that looked like guns. When he and the poachers Max and Thor head out to find Ursula and capture the "White Ape," Lyle mistakenly trades one of his lighters with an African guide for a real one. He plans to use the "lighter" to scare George away, but when George runs over to save Ape from being poached, a shot rings out, followed by a Big No both from Ape and Lyle (who realizes he accidentally traded his lighter for a real gun), and a Big GEORGE!! from Ursula. Of course, George survives because he's the hero.
  • Semi-Pro: While playing poker, one guy pretends to threaten someone with a gun as a prank, and says it's not loaded. Everyone at the poker table takes turns pointing the gun and pulling the trigger at each other. Predictably, the gun does have one round left; the bullet ricochets around the room and hits a guy's arm (it's in a cast). It's still played for laughs even though the guy's arm is bleeding through the cast.
  • Commando: After Arnold Schwarzenegger gets locked up in a police van, Rae Dawn Chong tries to free him with a quad-barrelled missile launcher. Unfortunately she points the wrong end at the target and blows up the shops behind her. Remember to read which end is the front when handling heavy weapons such as missile launchers.
    • Arnold is lucky that she did this; missile launchers do not fire lock picks or can openers, children.
  • Idiocracy: features a bunch of cops are firing on the car Not Sure had just exited. One of them has a rocket launcher - which he proceeds to fire backwards. A few seconds later, a 747 enters the shot going down in flames. Later in the film, the U.S. President quiets down a rowdy crowd in the House of Representin' by firing a light support weapon into the air. This is perfectly justified considering the movie is literally an Idiot Plot. No, seriously, it's about the world being populated by idiots.
  • The Naked Gun 33 1/3: was kind enough to provide the page quote.
  • Mars Attacks!!: When a soldier runs screaming towards a rifle, points it at a Martian - and hits the magazine release.
  • Austin Powers: does it, as he can be seen shaking his arms and blinking uncontrollably whenever he fires his gun. Mike Myers notes in the commentary that it was done only half-intentionally, as Mike himself had never fired a gun before.
  • Big Trouble in Little China: Just before the climactic battle, Jack Burton attempts to lead the charge of The Cavalry by shooting upwards dramatically. A chunk of the ceiling lands on his head for his effort, and puts him out of commission until the fight starts.
  • Starsky and Hutch: Starsky tries to intimidate a suspect by playing Russian Roulette with him. Said suspect rolls his eyes when he sees him empty his revolver and pretend to put one bullet in, but becomes wide-eyed and panicked quickly when one of the bullets Starsky puts up his sleeve falls into the cylinder. The scene is still played for laughs since Starsky thinks he still has an empty revolver. When the suspect tries to plead to Hutch when he comes in the interrogation room, Starsky ends up shooting the wall.
  • The a Team: When two CIA agents attempt to off Pike in the back of the car and lampshaded by the target himself. In fact, Pike begs Lynch not to let that guy shoot him because that'd just be embarrassing. The agent to his left seemed to suck at gun safety and was stupidly putting a silencer suppressor on his pistol. He then proceeds to aim it at Pike such that it'll more likely kill the agent on the right than the target. Pike overpowers him and hands his gun to the agent on the right, hoping that this one isn't as much of a complete imbecile. Sadly, that agent then answers his cellphone, while also pressing the gun to his face. Not to mention that all this was happening in a moving vehicle.
  • Monsters vs. Aliens: B.O.B. is given a plasma gun by a clone, and the gun goes off in his hands and hits said clone. Later, Dr. Cockroach grabs the gun away, claiming that it should be in the hands of someone capable... and then the gun goes off in his hands and shoots another clone.

Literature

  • In one of Larry Niven's Man-Kzin Wars books, a human picks up a Kzinti energy rifle, smearing blood over the "insufficient charge" light to hide it, and captures a Kzin. Having given his parole, the Kzin asks about the rifle. The human says "It's not charged," and points it upward, pulling the trigger to demonstrate. As they watch the hut burn from outside, the Kzin mentions that there is a world of difference between insufficient charge and no charge.

Live Action Television

  • M*A*S*H: used this a lot with gun fanatic Frank Burns. He frequently shot himself, and at one point, he accidentally shot BJ, for which he was relentlessly mocked.

Frank: Colonel, Margaret is missing!!
Col. Potter: So, naturally you shot Captain Hunnicutt.

    • One incident involved him shooting himself in the foot while attempting to steal a high-ranking officer's beautiful revolver, which leads to the Fridge Logic that not only did Frank assume it was unloaded, but that the man who had his gun stored left the bullets in. He also had a particularly entertaining scene where he pulled the pin on a grenade for no good reason, and about six seconds later realized he was waving around a live grenade. Cue frantic search for the dropped pin and fumbling attempt to return it to the grenade (it worked).
  • Stephen Colbert: Stephen thinks of Sweetness as more of a lover than a weapon and so doesn't pay too much attention to gun safety when he's with her. His bad habit of waving the loaded gun around with his finger on the trigger eventually comes back to bite him in the ass. Well, not the ass exactly... Don't worry - he's fine. The bullet ricocheted off his balls.
  • The IT Crowd: Douglas opening a random drawer and finding a loaded revolver. Whilst attempting to conceal it, he accidentally shoots himself in the leg, and spends the rest of the episode trying to hide his injury from his staff. Amusingly, that happens after he checks if it's loaded by putting the gun to his head and pulling the trigger five times. He is supposed to be Too Dumb to Live, but damn.
  • In the Doctor Who episode "Daleks in Manhattan", an actress threatens Martha and the Doctor with a gun, and handles it in an appallingly cavalier way, waving it around and even briefly pointing it at her own head. The Doctor suggests she should maybe put it down, and she shrugs and tosses it aside. The Doctor and Martha both flinch--

Actress: Hunh? [realizes she has gun] Oh, sure. [tosses gun to a chair] Oh, c'mon. It's not real. It's just a prop. It was either that or a spear.

  • Stargate Atlantis does it pretty much every time Rodney McKay fires a gun. Justified since he has no military experience and no training with firearms. In one episode, he frantically asks someone else what the hell he's supposed to do when his gun runs out of bullets. Why he hasn't sought out proper instruction on how to use weapons beyond "bullets come out of this end" by now is part of his many many flaws.
    • His best part was when he tried to shoot a Wraith, and hit the magazine release instead...
    • Probably has something to do with the heavily lampshaded routine of Rodney being the one to always find the solutions to things, he hasn't had time to seek out proper instruction. The fact that everyone else on the team seems fairly competent means that they may not even do the standard equipment and safety check.
    • He does, over the course of the show, go from barely being able to operate a pistol to carrying a P90 and using it fairly competently, though never quite as well the rest of the team. The same thing happened to Daniel Jackson in Stargate SG-1, who ended up being as much a military commando as he was an archaeologist.
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The episode "The Gang Cracks The Liberty Bell" has Frank and Charlie discovering one of the rifles they've purchased is defective when it fails to kill Dee. They check the rest by taking turns staring down the barrel of each gun while the other pulls the trigger.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer: episode "End of Days", it is implied that Willow and Tara's cat, Miss Kitty Fantastico, met her demise in a tragic crossbow accident.

Dawn: Xander, my crossbow is not out here. I told you, I don't leave crossbows around all willy-nilly. Not since that time with Miss Kitty Fantastico.

  • The Three Stooges: short "Disorder in the Court" introduces a gun as evidence. Curly is told to try to pull the incredibly rusty trigger, after being told "Never fear, it's not loaded. After one harmless click, he then accidentally shoots off the prosecutor's toupee when his finger gets stuck in the trigger guard.
    • Any time the Stooges or someone around them insisted a gun wasn't loaded, it was. In "Even as I.O.U." Curly gives a baby a pacifier. When Moe sees that it's a revolver, he reaches in to get it, but is stopped by Larry, who warns that the kid might pull the trigger. Curly insists it isn't loaded, and seeks to prove it...by cocking the hammer and thoughtlessly discharging it in an enclosed space. Pretty much every rule of gun safety is blithely disregarded.
  • SCTV: In a parody of Captain Kangaroo called "Captain Combat", Gunny Rabbit is shot by an accidental discharge. (Captain Combat's lesson to the kiddies at the end of the sketch: "Never be in a room with a loaded gun unless you're holding it.")
  • My Name Is Earl: Chubby carries a loaded pistol and an identical looking water pistol filled with vodka that he uses to freshen patrons drinks (and occasionally squirts directly into mouth). He is shown shooting at least one patron's glass and (between episodes) the inevitable happens and he shoots himself in the head.
  • Modern Family: When the families go to a dude ranch, the guys try skeet shooting, and Mitchell sends the others diving for cover when he absent-mindedly turns towards them while holding his rifle.
  • Pixelface: Sgt. Riely uses his plasmatronic laser for all kinds of mundane task, such as opening a carton of milk.


Music

  • Used in the music video for "Walk" by the Foo Fighters after the rest of the band (minus Dave Grohl who's being arrested) becomes friends with the cops. This includes taking a picture while pointing guns stylishly at the camera and Taylor Hawkins literally juggling a loaded gun.


Video Games

Qwark: This Lombax is young. He does not understand that being a hero is 45% strength, 60% bravery, and 10% raw intelligence. *points to his head with the barrel of his laser gun*


Web Comics


Web Original

  • The Nostalgia Critic: shows blatant disregard for gun safety, often waving the gun around, discharging it at unsafe distances, not unloading the magazine, not uncocking the pin, etc. He would likely accidentally blow his head off in real life. Then again has blown his head off on purpose enough times already in character. The actor, Doug Walker, is of course using a prop gun, which is just an airsoft gun with the orange tip painted black.
    • Bennett the Sage takes this to the extreme in the two-year anniversary special Kickassia where, as Surgeon General of Kickassia, he determines that Uzis make you unkillable, on the grounds that he's holding one, and he isn't dead. He's later seen wiping tears away with the barrel of the Uzi.
  • Girlchan in Paradise, "It's out of bullets, anyway!" "Then that means I can do this!" (BANG)
  • The Onion, this article , an 8-year-old boy who unintentionally shot himself in the thigh wins praise from Strawman Politicals for having exercised his constitutional rights.
  • Idiots with Guns blog, dedicated to the people who for some reason think Hollywood style gun handling makes them look "cool", as opposed to irresponsible and/or stupid.


Western Animation

  • The Simpsons: Homer buys a gun and uses it for such things as opening a can of beer, and turning on his TV (complete with a Mook from a Western falling off a roof at that exact moment). This actually gets him kicked out of the local gun club. In the same episode, Marge gets annoyed when Homer plays with the gun at the breakfast table. Homer puts the safety on, but only manages to accidentally fire the gun, hitting a picture of Marge. He nervously comments that he accidentally turned the safety off, and turns it on... and the gun again discharges, hitting the picture of Marge. Freaked out by now, Homer puts the gun on the table—and after a second, without being touched it fires again, this time hitting a knife which is sent flying into the picture of Marge, right between the eyes.

Lisa: ... No offense, mom, but that was pretty cool.

    • In The Simpsons Movie, Chief Wiggum can't carry enough donuts, so he stacks them on the barrel of his gun, and then eats them straight off it. The gun goes off while he's between bites, blowing a hole through his hat. He says "Whoa, that was a close one!" and continues eating. Another episode, showing film of him when he was younger at a firing range, has him looking down the barrel after his gun stops and getting yelled at by his instructor ("What did I say about pointsy-twardsies?"). He then gives the instructor a back massage with the gun and it goes off and shoots the cameraman. He's later shown to have gotten the position of Chief by giving the Mayor a back massage with his gun. Another episode showed Wiggum cleaning his ears with the barrel of his gun, and yet another showed him firing at his TV after forgetting where he left the remote. It was in his gun holster.
    • Yet another Wiggum example is a recent episode where he used two gun barrels as earplugs.
    • Also done in Homer The Vigilante:

Marge: I don't think the guns are a good idea.
Homer: Marge! We're responsible adults. And —
Moe: [shoots] Whoops.
Homer: And if a group of responsible adults can't handle firearms in a responsible way —
Sea Captain: [shoots] Sorry.
Skinner: [shoots] Uh oh.
Moe: [shoots] Me again.
Bart: [shoots] Sorry.

    • From the episode "Simpsons Tall Tales":

Homer: I'm cleaning my gun with the safety off, safety off, safety off, I'm cleaning my gun with the safety off on a cold and frosty--[shoots]

    • In another episode, Chief Wiggum is trying to shoot a fly with a gun:

Chief Wiggum: *the fly lands on his nose* HA!! I've got you now!! *cut to commercial*

    • One comic book had Homer attend an "Arm The Elderly" rally. To the frustration and astonishment of the Grim Reaper, everyone somehow survived.
  • Superfriends: Marvin manages to get the Villain of the Day's freeze weapon and threatens him with it. The villain smugly tells him to fire away because he (and the audience) can clearly see he's holding the weapon backward. In order to demonstrate that he was just as stupid, Zan later did the same thing with a transformation gun.
  • Looney Tunes: Elmer Fudd, for an avid hunter, ignores pretty much every rule of gun safety while out hunting wabbits. Also, there's the scene from Rabbit Fire, where Daffy looks down the barrel of Elmer's gun and finds out the hard way that there was One Buwwet Weft.
  • Duckman:

Duckman: Did I ever tell you my Dad's last words to me?
Cornfed: "Careful, son, I don't think the safety is on."
Duckman: Before that!

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