How to Be a Complete Monster

How-To Guide

So you wanna be a villain who has no redeeming qualities? Here are the steps.

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1. Be the Big Bad. Heck, just be a villain. Being the Big Bad helps, though.
2. Let the heroes come into your trap and torture and/or kill them. Painfully.
3. Break the Cutie or kill The Woobie. For a better result, keep The Woobie alive, but make his/her life a living hell consciously.
4. Kick the Dog. Especially if the dog is adorable. If you have a dog, kill it and/or torture it as soon as possible.
5. Don't have a Freudian Excuse. If you by any chance have an excuse, just make sure your present day depravity far outweighs your past.
6. Love your Hannibal Lecture. And don't be swayed by anyone's appeal for good.
7. Be reasonless in evil.
8. Laugh at your victims' misery, especially at their lowest.
9. Forget about standards, children should be no different than adult from your point of view. Unless you have a special treatment for them.
10. Be a Self-Made Orphan.
11. Make sure your favorite sound is 'screaming of other people'
12. If I am ever in charge of a military I will make sure to not care about the lives of my own forces. I will frequently send them on deadly missions for almost no reason at all
13. Dine only on Endangered Species; especially cute ones.
14. Love the sight of people in despair. Even better: Actively drive people into despair, make it your hobby or something!
15. Love no one in your life. You are looking out for Number One, always!
16. Either show indifference to your heinous attrocities, or flat out enjoy them. You have no shame, no remorse, no regrets for the path you have taken.
17. A chance for redemption? A chance to make a new start? NEVER!
18. Just always do your absolute best to do your absolute worst.