Hitman: Miami
Hitman: Miami is an Affectionate Parody fanfic of Hitman 2: Silent Assassin, written by "Agent 17" in 2003-2004.
It has been written as a Walkthrough for the supposed game Hitman: Miami, a series installment which has bald assassin 47 Happily Married to the Chinese hooker Mei-Ling and living in sunny Miami. He is forced back into business, however, after unknown assailants kill his wife and--what's worse--steal his laptop.
Unfortunately, the series petered out after eight missions and the promised "pretty deep plot and a twist ending" never saw the light of day.
You can read Hitman: Miami on the hitmanforum.com website[1], or directly on the forums where it originated [dead link] .
- Affectionate Parody
- Air Vent Passageway: In mission 8.
- All Crimes Are Equal: Parodying this trope from the original game:
... if 47 walks in, a metal detector will be set off, and an army of guards will shoot 47 on sight, as is standard procedure in the event someone sets off a metal detector, anywhere, in the entire world.
- Boxed Crook: 47 is made this in mission 6.
- But You Screw One Goat!: The target in mission 3 is involved in illegal ferret smuggling, and uses the ferret for a specific purpose...
- Cool Shades: Worn by 47 throughout mission 1.
- Dead Fic
- Gay Bar: The Bad Times Cafe in mission 2, so much.
- Killer Gorilla: Mission 8 has 47 up against genetically engineered, gun-toting gorilla assassins.
- Never Suicide: Taken to the extreme in mission 4, where 47 has to forge suicide notes for every single dead body in the villa (and there are a lot). Then he blows up the entire villa anyway.
- Product Placement: For Coca-Cola throughout mission 3.
- Punny Name: The first mission has 47 receive an email from a "Vladimir Cutzurnutzov".
- Rhymes on a Dime: Mr. Pi during fights, much to 47's frustration.
- Scannable Man: 47's barcode tattoo becomes a liability when he visits a supermarket. He needs to run his head across the barcode scanner before leaving.
- Waiting Puzzle: The ending of mission 2 has 47 wait at a bus stop "for thirty-five real-time minutes".
- Mission 5 has the player "watch the warehouse for hours on end", preferrably while reading an interesting novel.
- Would Hurt a Child: In mission 7, the only way for 47 to get the money for the supermarket shopping is to garrotte the children in the toy section and steal their cash.
- You All Look Familiar: A Running Gag is for many bit characters to look identical to minor characters from Hitman 2.
- ↑ note that this section has been deleted in the site redesign, so the link goes to the Internet Archive