Hitman: Miami

Hitman: Miami is an Affectionate Parody fanfic of Hitman 2: Silent Assassin, written by "Agent 17" in 2003-2004.

It has been written as a Walkthrough for the supposed game Hitman: Miami, a series installment which has bald assassin 47 Happily Married to the Chinese hooker Mei-Ling and living in sunny Miami. He is forced back into business, however, after unknown assailants kill his wife and--what's worse--steal his laptop.

Unfortunately, the series petered out after eight missions and the promised "pretty deep plot and a twist ending" never saw the light of day.

You can read Hitman: Miami on the hitmanforum.com website[1], or directly on the forums where it originated [dead link] .

Tropes used in Hitman: Miami include:

... if 47 walks in, a metal detector will be set off, and an army of guards will shoot 47 on sight, as is standard procedure in the event someone sets off a metal detector, anywhere, in the entire world.

  • Boxed Crook: 47 is made this in mission 6.
  • But You Screw One Goat!: The target in mission 3 is involved in illegal ferret smuggling, and uses the ferret for a specific purpose...
  • Cool Shades: Worn by 47 throughout mission 1.
  • Dead Fic
  • Gay Bar: The Bad Times Cafe in mission 2, so much.
  • Killer Gorilla: Mission 8 has 47 up against genetically engineered, gun-toting gorilla assassins.
  • Never Suicide: Taken to the extreme in mission 4, where 47 has to forge suicide notes for every single dead body in the villa (and there are a lot). Then he blows up the entire villa anyway.
  • Product Placement: For Coca-Cola throughout mission 3.
  • Punny Name: The first mission has 47 receive an email from a "Vladimir Cutzurnutzov".
  • Rhymes on a Dime: Mr. Pi during fights, much to 47's frustration.
  • Scannable Man: 47's barcode tattoo becomes a liability when he visits a supermarket. He needs to run his head across the barcode scanner before leaving.
  • Waiting Puzzle: The ending of mission 2 has 47 wait at a bus stop "for thirty-five real-time minutes".
    • Mission 5 has the player "watch the warehouse for hours on end", preferrably while reading an interesting novel.
  • Would Hurt a Child: In mission 7, the only way for 47 to get the money for the supermarket shopping is to garrotte the children in the toy section and steal their cash.
  • You All Look Familiar: A Running Gag is for many bit characters to look identical to minor characters from Hitman 2.
  1. ↑ note that this section has been deleted in the site redesign, so the link goes to the Internet Archive
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