Help!/Funny
Well, this is a Beatles movie where Hilarity Ensues so...
- "End of Part One. Intermission."
Cue image of the Beatles in a glen, goofing around while a bird chirps. It must be seen.
- The "whirly thing coming out of that man's stomach"/"It's only a hose" scene comes to mind.
- "It's for you." "Who is it?" "The gardener." "I'll just stick it out the window then..."
- This:
Ringo: What was it that first attracted you to me?
John: Oh, you're very polite.
- When the fuse in Buckingham Palace blows, we see that the Royal Fuse is made of gold. The man who replaces it - at the World Famous Power Station - casually states that it must have been caused by the Queen's new hairdryer.
- With bonus points because that was a World Famous Power Station: Battersea Power Station.
- The bar scene, when Ringo is trapped in the basement with the tiger. The head of the Scotland Yard explains that the tiger will not attack if someone sings it "Ode to Joy", prompting John to shout to Ringo "Of course! Why didn't you think of that, you twit?"
- And while explaining about the tiger, the head of Scotland Yard nearly falls into the tiger pit. John has to grab him.
- "JEWELER, YOU'VE FAILED!"
- Discussing the Mad Scientist Foot: "You can't stop him when he gets going like that. He's out to rule the world... If he can get a government grant."
- This line from Clang, setting up the plot:
Clang: Without the ring, there will be no sacrifice. Without the sacrifice, there will be no congregation. Without the congregation....no more me.
- Pretty much the entire visit to the Far Eastern restaurant is an onslaught of Crowning Funny.
- A Cockney doorman: "What are unions for?"
- George keeps noticing the kitchen staff disappearing (dragged off by cultists) every time he turns to look for more kitchen staff.
- John finding more and more stuff in his soup:
"I think somebody's been in this soup!"
- In Switzerland:
George: It's a THINGEE! A FIENDISH THINGEE!
and
Swimmer: Excuse me, White Cliffs of Dover?
(John points to the Swiss horizon)
Swimmer: Ah, thanks
(John nods with a huge grin)
- When the boys finally go to Scotland Yard to get help protecting Ringo:
Inspector: Red?
Ringo: They have to paint me red before they chop me up. It's a different religion than ours. (Beat) I think.
- And when Clang calls the office:
John: Hold on! It's them! Only me and Paul know we're here!
George: I know we're here.
- And then the inspector decides to answer the phone call from the cultists himself, pretending as Ringo:
Inspector: I do the odd impression, you know, James Cagney... (puts on stereotypical Liverpudlian Beatle accent, speaks into phone) Hullo there, this is the famous Ringo here, gear, fab. What is it that I could do for you as it were, gear, fab?
George: (miffed) Not a bit like Cagney!
- After the cultists attempt to shoot Ringo first with an arrow with a balloon of red paint on it, then with a second arrow to burst it and kill him, spraying red paint across the inspector's map.
Inspector: Yes, I believe you. Thousands wouldn't.
- At the recording studio:
Record Producer: Boys! Are you buzzing?
John: No thanks, I got the car!
- Later,
John: It was you buzzing, you naughty boy!
- The Mad Scientist turns a failed attempt at shooting The Beatles into an embittered rant on scientific funding when his gun jams:
British, you see. Useless. If I had a Luger, or a pistol, eh? Scientists properly equipped, eh? It's up to you! The voter!
- "MISSED, you naughty boy!"
- All the talk about "filthy Eastern ways".
John: Now see what you've done with your filthy Eastern ways!
Ahme: No! It is Clang, the High Priest, who is filthy in his Eastern ways.
John: How do we know you're not just as filthy and sent my him to nick the ring by being filthy and you have lulled us with your filthy Eastern ways?
Paul: What filthy ways are these?