Grave Humor/Quotes
The "one parting joke" as a gravestone epitaph is an obscure tradition which has been going on, largely under the radar, since at least the eighteenth or nineteenth century. There are many printed books of these, some dating back as far as The Sixties:
- Grave Humor by Alonzo C. Hall. Charlotte, N.C., McNally of Charlotte, 1961.
- Over Their Dead Bodies by Thomas C. Mann and Janet Greene. Brattleboro, Vt., Stephen Greene Press, 1962.
- Last Laughs: Funny Tombstone Quotes and Famous Last Words, Kathleen E. Miller, Sterling Publishing Company 2006.
- I Told You I Was Sick: A Grave Book of Curious Epitaphs by Nigel Rees. 288 pages. Cassell (1 Nov 2005).
These also appear occasionally in fictional works. Fallout 2 appears to have taken and incorporated a list of amusing gravestone inscriptions which has been circulating unattributed online (with minor variation) for decades. Some of these lists were created merely as a jokebook-style compilation, but many of the epitaphs are real.
Some examples:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.—epitaph of Anna Hopewell, Enosburg Falls, Vermont
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.—epitaph of Anna Wallace in Ribbesford, England
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.—epitaph of Ann Mann, London UK, Dec. 8, 1767
“Captain Thomas Coffin.
Died 1842. Age 50 years.
He’s done a-catching cod.
And gone to meet his God.”—epitaph of a Rhode Island fisherman
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good Die Young.—epitaph of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia
To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
Born 15 September 1822
Accidentally shot 4th April 1844
As a mark of affection from his brother.—epitaph in La Pointe, Wisconsin
Gone, but not forgiven.
—epitaph of an adulterous husband in Atlanta
Here underneath this little stone
Lies Robert Earl of Huntington
No archer were as he so good
and people called him Robin Hood
A skillful man, above all men
this world will never see again—epitaph on a lone grave in a New England forest
Jedediah Goodwin.
Auctioneer.
Born 1828.
Going! Going! Gone! 1876.—epitaph on an auctioneer’s tombstone
G. Winch, the brewer, lies buried here.
In life he was both hale and stout.
Death brought him to his bitter bier.
Now in heaven he hops about.—a brewer's epitaph
John E. Goembel. 1867-1946.
The defense rests.—an attorney’s epitaph
Stranger tread this ground with gravity
Dentist Brown is filling his last cavity—a dentist's epitaph
Molly though pleasant in her day
Was suddenly seized and sent away
How soon she's ripe, how soon she's rott'n
Sent to her grave and soon forgott'n—epitaph of Mary "Molly" Fowler, Milford Cemetery, Connecticut
Professor S. B. McCracken
School is out.
Teacher has gone home.—epitaph of an Elkhart, Indiana instructor
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.—epitaph of a widow in Vermont
Beneath these stones do lie,
Back to back my wife and I!
When the last trumpet the air shall fill
If she gets up, I'll just lie still.—epitaph on a Sargentville, Maine grave
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.—epitaph of an 1880s Naco, Arizona Wells Fargo station agent in Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone AZ
Underneath this pile of stones
Lies all that's left of Sally Jones.
Her name was Lord, it was not Jones,
But Jones was used to rhyme with stones.—epitaph on a tombstone in Skaneateles, New York
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.—epitaph in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.—epitaph on a lawyer's grave in England
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.—epitaph in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.—epitaph of John Penny in Wimborne, England
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.—epitaph on Margaret Daniels' grave at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, Virginia
On the 22nd of June
- Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.—epitaph in a cemetery in Hartscombe, England
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.—an epitaph in Winslow, Maine
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.—epitaph from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts
Gone Underground For Good.
—on a coal miner's grave
Ellen Shannon, Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid."—epitaph in Girard, Pennsylvania
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.—epitaph of Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.—epitaph in a Silver City, Nevada cemetery
I would rather be here than in Texas.
—gravestone in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
She lived with her husband fifty years
And died in the confident hope of a better life.—gravestone in Burlington, Vermont
Here lies my wife:
Here let her lie!
Now she's at rest
And so am I.—unknown, another version ends "Now she has peace/And so do I"
Here Lies Mary Smith
Silent At Last—unknown
Rebecca Freeland, 1741.
She drank good ale,
good punch and wine,
and lived to the age of 99.—epitaph in a New Jersey cemetery
Owen Moore
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.—epitaph in Battersea, London UK
Here lies the body of Margaret Bent,
She kicked up her heels and away she went.—epitaph in Winterborn Steepleton Cemetery, Dorsetshire, England
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.—an anonymous gravesite in Stowe, Vermont
He got a fish-bone in his throat
and then he sang an angel note.—an epitaph in Schenectady, New York
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.—epitaph from an English cemetery, also spotted in Atlanta. Various sermons mention a reply "To follow you I’ll not consent, Until I know which way you went."
Hooray my brave boys
Let's rejoice at his fall.
For if he had lived
He would have buried us all.—epitaph on a grave digger's own tombstone
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.—epitaph in a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery
I told you I was sick!
—Spike Milligan's epitaph[1]
- Back to Grave Humor
- ↑ Irish inscription: "Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite". Many variants spotted on multiple graves in Florida, Georgia and elsewhere.