Full-Frontal Assault/Quotes

Well, the Celts would sometimes paint themselves blue and fight completely naked. Just because. One would assume that fighting in the nude would present some rather sensitive targets to one's enemies (we're talking about their nuts), but it seems that the Celts were so frigging manly that they just didn't care. It was the ultimate insult: "I am not afraid of you, and to prove it, I have just laid my dong on your sword."

—Cracked -- The 5 Most Terrifying Civilizations in History of the World

...many famous works of art, such as the late Michelangelo's statue of David getting ready to fight Goliath, are not wearing a stitch of clothing. Which raises the question: Why would anybody go off to fight in the nude? Was it a tactic? Perhaps this explains why Goliath just stood there like a bozo and let himself get hit by a rock. "Hey!" he was probably thinking. "This guy is naked as a jaybird! What's he trying to AWWRRK."

—Dave Barry, "Well Endowed"

As soon as he got in the car he was waving this knife at me and I thought "there's only one way to stop him." So I punched clean through the driver's window and I just kept hitting him until he got out. The only thing is, I was a little bit naked because I sleep in my birthday suit. What the neighbours were thinking I don't know because they were all looking out at this naked man shouting at his car at six in the morning.

—L/Cpl Wayne O'Mahoney, 41, about fighting off burglars who tried to steal his own car for a getaway.

I think it’s scarier that he’s naked. If you see naked dudes with guns, clearly there’s something not right there. That man is insane!

For a brief time, nudity was the most effective body armor known to man.

—Cracked