Forgotten Realms/Funny

• Forgotten Realms books contain some hilarity more often than not:
  • Elminster's Ecologies:

"Two types of chimerae stalk Cormanthor: the mean ones, and the really mean ones. You can't tell one from the other, except for their lips."
"As if keeping an undead ferret in her tunic weren't enough to drive civilized company away, she spent her last social gathering explaining the disparate relative effects of falling damage on living and undead rat squirrels to two decidedly uncomfortable apprentice mages with good prospects."

• • Volo's Guides, with his and Elminster's footnotes:

[4] Elminster: Delusions this grand are the final frightening stages of the descent into babbling idiocy. Hmmm, perhaps the lad would've made a good mage after all...
Once the focal stones are safely hidden inside a hollow statuette out behind her privy,[20]
[20] Volo: As I was saying, wizards tend to be a mite suspicious of the world around - and not always without reason.