< Fire Blogger

Fire Blogger/Funny

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  • The Middle Episode 2x01 "Back To School"
    • His list of things he'd rather do than watch The Middle. The list:
      • Give birth to a full-grown elephant
      • Jump into a pool of lava
      • Watch Tyler Perry’s House of Payne
      • Swallow a live porcupine
      • Cut off my fingers, toes, arms, and legs, shred by shred
      • Get leprosy
      • Get the worst migraine ever
      • Play Gods & Generals on the PC
      • Get sandwiched between two big rigs
      • Get my skull crushed by an anvil
      • Read YouTube comments
    • His predictions of how the episode would end, and his reactions when they happened exactly how he predicted.
    • Every time he makes fun of a scene with Doris Roberts. EVERY time.
  • The Middle Episode 2x02 "Homecoming"
    • ->Fire Blogger: Come on, Reid. Do you really think we’re stupid enough to believe he’s just “quirky” like you’re advertising him to be? Let’s take a look at The Middle’s ratings. *beat* Do you really think I’m stupid enough to believe he’s just “quirky” like you’re advertising him to be?
    • His impression of Alex Reid while ranting on the raking subplot.
      • Alex Reid: HURRRRRRRRRRR RAKING = COMEDY GOLD.
    • His reaction to "the dumbest sitcom subplot ever".

Fire Blogger: So that’s it? Just say, “Could you rearrange the cross-country meeting?” and you’ll get it changed? That’s all it would’ve taken? Bravo. You made one of the most pointless subplots in sitcom history. All of this could’ve been resolved with a simple visit to the school.

  • The Middle Episode 2x03 "The Diaper Incident
    • His Running Gag about wanting to play inFAMOUS.
    • Talking about how creepy Sue looks at Sean.
    • Sarcastically calling Brick a Myth Buster.
    • His prediction of Frankie being directed to the adult diapers, and his reaction when it happens.
    • Pointing out Sean and Axl's Pac-Man Fever.
    • All of his reactions to Sue's obnoxious subplot.
    • After writing in Brad's dialog, he follows up with a "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer.
  • The Middle Episode 2x04 "The Quarry"
    • He used the picture on the page for Anvilicious.
    • His rant on the entire arcade scene, pointing out that it's hard to find places that have food and arcades, singing Crossfire, and pointing out all of the inaccuracies of the scene.
    • Calling the guitar music "the guitar equivalent of "buh-dum-tsh"".
    • And finally...

Fire Blogger: Ha ha ha, sexism is so funny.

Fire Blogger: Maybe she thinks about Sean a little bit too much.
Fire Blogger: OH, NO! WHO'S GOING TO DO THE CHORES TODAY?!HOW WILL THIS COMPLICATED, LAYERED CONFLICT EVER BE RESOLVED?!
Fire Blogger: So what does Takayuki look like? He has a blank, stoic expression, permanently frozen on his face. He probably realized just what he got into by selling his soul for fame and signing a contract with idiots.
Fire Blogger: In the middle of an argument, Takayuki says that “he can fix car”. We get dialog made of nothing but “I can fix car” “you can fix car” and “he can fix car”. Suddenly, I’m reminded of that famous Lolcat, “I CAN HAZ CHEESEBURGER?”

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