Dogs Are Dumb/Quotes

Anyway, dogs make good pets because they are very loyal. (NOTE: When I say "loyal," I mean "stupid." I once wrote a column in which I said dogs are stupid, and I got a lot of nasty mail from people who insisted, often with misspelled words, that dogs are intelligent. Perhaps from their point of view dogs are intelligent, but I don't want to get into that here. I'll just stick with "loyal.")

—Dave Barry, The Problem with Pets

Is this the dumbest dog in America? People screaming and dying all around him and he's standing there like he wants to be burned alive.

—The Nostalgia Chick, on Boomer in Independence Day.