Dan Schneider/WMG

Dan's works are results of his fantasies.

That explains why his works have Getting Crap Past the Radar and attract the Periphery Demographic. Ms. Fanservice? Ho Yay/Les Yay? All the exposed feet and other things that get past the Radar? All of them comes from Dan's fantasies, probably from his imagination or dreams.

• Maybe he was bullied as a kid by girls and that's where his almost overwhelming desire to play out Slap Slap Kiss tropes even if they don't make much sense comes from.
  • If he was the same size/age ratio as he was when he grew up and started acting (until the last year or so) which pictures of him when he was younger appear to indicate, the Slap Slap Kiss probably comes from being bullied by tomboyish girls when he was younger, and being rejected without even having to ask them due to being unattractive compared to other guys, as well as his more general trait in letting bigger guys have roles on his shows and still letting them get the girl. He was also apparently a straight-A nerd. These traits from his high school origins would explain:
    • Quinn's original relationship with Mark on Zoey 101 with Mark standing in for Dan and to a lesser extent Quinn's eventual romance with Logan.
    • How Gibby got into a relationship with a women who is played by a lingerie model.
    • How Gibby also got into a relationship with another girl choosing him over Freddie played by Nathan Kress after Nathan bulked up.
    • Freddie being bullied for years by Sam only to have her turn around and have Sam fall for him.
    • Josh ending up with Mindy, who is a mix of Quinn and Jade West.
      • Josh getting a show built around him and Drake to begin with. It's unlikely it would ever have happened if it wasn't for Dan pushing to have Josh as part of the show.
  • All in all, his obsession with Slap Slap Kiss as stand in fantasy for his youth would indicate that he was bullied and girls paid very little attention to him when he was a teenager.

He Bribes Nick to let him keep his shows on the air.

How else could unfunny and offensive garbage be allowed to stay for so long?

• I always thought that he was just in alligence with witches. It would also explain why the network seems to utterly adore his work AND screw over anything not related to him.

He isn't aware of how terrible his shows are.

...or maybe he is fully aware but doesn't care as long as they are Cash Cow Franchises and Adored by the Network.

People are only on his shows to lose weight, or to prevent weight gain from being big eaters