< Crystal Dragon Jesus

Crystal Dragon Jesus/WMG

Crystal Dragon Jesus was betrayed by Obsidian Gryphon Judas

  • For thirty pieces of silver sphinx babies.
  • And then Obsidian Gryphon Judas stabbed himself with a silver stake.
  • In between all of that, he was denied 3 times by Copper Unicorn Simon(Peter), all before one of the 3 suns rose and the 3-headed cockatrice crowed.

Crystal Dragon Jesus is a Mon

  • The signs are all there: the crystals, the wings, living inside of small portable objects, being a dragon. The only difference is this Olympus Mons died for our sins.

Crystal Dragon Jesus is a senshi, or star entity.

Well, it's sealed in dragon form. Like Helios was in the anime or something.

  • Crystal Dragon Power, Make-up!

Crystal Dragon Jesus is actually a dinosaur

He was a vast, reptilian creature in ancient times. Eventually, he died, and the mud around him made a cast of his bones, then petrified. However, this happened close to natural carbon gas deposits, so instead of normal fossils forming, diamonds developed in the cast over the intervening millennia, creating the now-famous "crystal dragon" which many recognize as a savior today.

House Targaryen are descended from Crystal Dragon Jesus

This explains their affinity with dragons, their tendency to see themselves as saving the world no matter their actions, and the source of their less explained powers - divine miracles! The Second Coming will arrive when one of them manages to return to the true draconic form.

Because it might just sound cool. Or not......

Crystal Dragon Jesus is actually the God-Emperor of Mankind

He's simply a dragon that appeared as a human Messianic Archetype thanks to the Warp.

Crystal Dragon Jesus is very evil

It had to be said. Besides, it's a dragon.

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