Courtroom Antic/Quotes

I'm not one for a lot of fancy footwork in lieu of a defense. Unless, of course... it's dazzling.

—Judge Maxwell Frasier, This Is Wonderland

Your Honor, I move that I be disbarred for introducing this evidence against my own client.

—Hyperchicken Lawyer, Futurama

Mad Hatter: Oop! I'd like that last statement stricken from the record, please!

Joker: Record? Is someone supposed to be writing this down?

—Batman: The Animated Series, Trial

David Barron: Objection. Assuming facts not in evidence.
Caroline Julian: What do you mean? The defendant has every needle disease in the book, except HIV.
David Barron: Same objection. Plus Miss Julian seems to deeply desire to testify herself.
Caroline Julian: Yes, I would like to testify, because then I'd know what answers I was getting.

Judge: Alright, settle down. This is a murder trial, not a night at the Improv.

—Bones, The Man In The Mansion

Mr. Reede, it is out of sheer morbid curiosity I'm allowing this freakshow to continue."

—Judge Marshall Stevens, Liar Liar