Chocobo Nights
In disgusting fanfiction, Chocobo rides YOU!
Chocobo Nights is in fact the second part of a Final Fantasy VII fanfic series called The Aerith and Tifa Series by Lemon Master. It's easily the most well-known of this series, for all the wrong reasons.
The plot, such as it is, details the group's arrival at a Chocobo Ranch, run by a mysterious woman named Chicabo, who takes a shine to Tifa and allows them to stay on the ranch overnight. Lesbian sex ensues. Not so bad, you think?
Then the Chocobo joins in. Yep.
And Tifa bears the Chocobo's baby.
The fic can be found here (it's Not Safe For Wark, obviously), and the Ficbitches' sporking can be found here.
- All Lesbians Are Promiscuous
- Artistic License: Biology / Anatomically-Impossible Sex: To quote the Ficbitches' review, "TIFA JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A FUCKING CHOCOBO." Chocobos are birds. Birds hatch from eggs. More to the point, birds are sexually incompatible with plains apes. Considering the multiple references to "fur", it's uncertain if the author even understands that chocobos are birds.
- Also, birds don't suckle, most birds don't have penises (except for ducks), and they certainly would not try to mate with something that smells like food.
- Author Appeal
- Beige Prose
- But You Screw One Chocobo!
- Buffy-Speak:
"Rufus looked at Aeris' face as she tried to bear the pain of having pipes shoved up her pee hole, vagina and ass."
- Coitus Ensues
- Dead Baby Comedy: Hard to tell if it was intentional or not.
- Express Delivery: It takes less than one day for the baby Chocobo to gestate.
- Half-Human Hybrid: Averted; the baby appears to be a purebred Chocobo, except for the fact that it tries to suckle.
- Hand Wave: The fanfic doesn't really explain how Tifa manages to give birth to a Chocobo, other than simply saying that "It's a little-known fact that humans can bear Chocobo young."
- Improbable Species Compatibility: Except it isn't hot.
- How Do I Used Tense
- IKEA Erotica
- The Immodest Orgasm: Tifa screams a lot.
- Interspecies Random Fucking
- Old Shame: The fic is derided on Shoujoai.com, and most members want to see it be taken off because they consider it a pathetic piece of crap that doesn't fit the site's quality standards, and most believe it was only included while the original site owner was alive because the site needed street cred as a haven for yuri fanfiction early in its existence.
- Rouge Angles of Satin: It's unclear what the author meant by "thung". The most probable candidates are "tongue" or "thumb", and context leans toward the former, but considering the "I" key is right next to the "U" key in QWERTY keyboards, it's possible that the author meant "thing".
- Screaming Birth: And how!