How To Be a Cartoonish Supervillain

How-To Guide

"And when [Mr. Burns] planned to steal our sunlight, he crossed that line between everyday villainy and cartoonish super-villany."

—Smithers, The Simpsons.

So you want to become a Super Villain. Here's a handy guide to accomplishing this, in several easy steps!

• Plot to, and make an attempt to, deprive a population of a basic necessity, such as the sun, or the world.
• Have your plans foiled at least once by one or more of the following:
  • A rag tag group of freedom fighters.
  • a Do-Anything Robot
  • A bunch of teenagers with attitude.
  • A Farm Boy.
  • Meddling Kids.
  • A Talking Animal
  • Anything remotely succeeding.
• Have a new plot every week for the aforementioned group(s) to foil.
• Have a theme or a gimmick; something as broad as "Mad Scientist who wants to Take Over the World/city/Tri-State Area" works if pursued with style and variety, but you really want to have a theme - ice and coldness, or riddles, for instance.
• Hate Goodness.
  • Note: If the reason you hate good is because it is your weakness, you are already a cartoonish Supervillain, and need go no further on this list.
• Join the Republican party.
  • Join the Democratic party.
  • Join the Libertarian party.
  • Join PETA. This is not meant to be a joke.

There is one thing you must never, ever do to be a true Cartoonish Supervillain:

• Succeed.
  • This by no means you will fail at every step of your plan, because it's a well known fact that You Can't Thwart Stage One. You'll probably get rob the bank or build the Doomsday Device, and you usually get to escape when it goes pear-shaped. But beyond that, you're pretty much screwed. Don't forget to shake your fist, swear you'll be back and never re-use any of your old plans. It's all part of the Super Villain flair.