< BlazBlue

BlazBlue/Funny


As expected from a Lighter and Softer Guilty Gear, BlazBlue is an extremely funny game. Check out the below examples, now organised for your benefit.

Blazblue: Calamity Trigger

  • Bang's Theme Music Power-Up by JAM Project in the console version, which replaces the current background music with an over-the-top song about how awesome he is.
  • The scene where Bang proceeds to beat up Tager just because he looks like he's going to do something evil one day.
  • This line from Ragna's story mode:

Ragna: "Hello, Mr. Grim Reaper is here. I've come to invite all you guys to the Underworld... 'xcuse me, pizza delivery here!"

  • The scene where Ragna and Taokaka realize they've had a big misunderstanding about who exactly is paying the no doubt large bill they've racked up at a restaurant.
  • Noel's Joke Ending, where after being defeated by Tager, she wakes up in Litchi's clinic. Litchi then chases Noel all around Kagutsuchi trying to get Noel to dress in a variety of outfits, including Valentine's.
  • Tager's Joke Ending:

Kokonoe: "Super beast mode: golden Tager making it's grand entrance! Behold this majestic paragon of power!"

    • Also, Kokonoe starts talking about modifying Bang's body, but then says she wants to test the mods on Hakumen's body first. Cut to Hakumen, who gets a chill down his spine and senses a great danger, even worse than what he felt against the Black Beast.
  • Arakune's Astral Finish.
  • Nu's arcade playthrough has her exchange with Taokaka. Mostly because the ever calculating Nu looks at Taokaka and has no idea what to think.
    • This line seals it: "Tao is Tao! Are you flappy-flap? What do you want from meow?"
  • In Noel's story mode, there's the segment where she... *ahem* plays with Makoto.
  • boing boing*

Makoto: Noel? What... are you doing?

  • boing boing*

Noel: Hehe, Makoto, your ears are so fluffy...
Makoto: Argh! Right when I was depressed too...
Noel: Hmmm...
Makoto: Hey! Stop touching them!
Noel: But they're so soft. Especially your tail. What's this? A concealed weapon?
Makoto: I'm not a stuffed animal! I am-

  • boing boing*

Blazblue: Continuum Shift

  • Bang's victory sequence against Arakune in arcade mode of Continuum Shift - Bang offers to give Arakune a bath; the latter just wants to get the hell out of there. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Noel hates Ragna's teasing and insults, and this is reflected during their fights. She says things like "Stop calling me stupid!" and "I'm not dumb!" during certain moves, but the CMoF comes when she uses her Zero-Gun:Fenrir special, in which she shouts, while filling Ragna with bullets: "Ragna The Bloodedge... YOU'RE STUPID!"
    • And the followup in BlazBlue: Continuum Shift, when Noel uses the same move against Ragna: "I'm sick of being called 'stupid'...! Especially by a MORON like YOU!" Fridge Brilliance: don't they fight like brother and sister?
  • How about Hazama's Joke Ending? It can only be expressed with an equation, Hazama's hatred of cats + all the cats and cat people in Kagutsuchi suddenly being attracted to him = Hilarity Ensues.
  • Ragna's Joke Ending. Just... Ragna's Joke Ending.
    • Three simple words: Valley Girl Nu.
    • "Nu, for the love of God! Either the valley or the sea! Just PICK ONE!"
    • "Ghosts!? *Screams Like a Little Girl*"
  • Rachel's Joke End. Her Spectacles of Eros will make you laugh silly. Reason? She's not too happy to see Ragna with Platinum. More epicly all the girls from Kagutsuchi minus Taokaka, Tsubaki and Linhua. To add more fuel to this gag reel...Jin has to show up to 'save' his brother.
    • Litchi wants to gives him the love potion but fail thanks to Noel and admit her love to Ragna. But a random stalker HAS to show up at the wrong moment
    • Kokonoe gives him a sleeping candy but foiled by Litchi. The best part about is what Kokonoe's going to do with Ragna with multiple instances of creative censoring, in which some of the players would definitely laughed too hard on it.
    • Noel does... ADMIT SHE'S MARRIED TO RAGNA. She faked a marriage certificate. Too bad Ada doesn't approve it.

Noel: Ragna the Bloodedge is officially... is officially MY husband!
Ragna: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?

    • Makoto and Lambda pounce upon Ragna, crushing him beneath their supple, young bodies. His reply is a muffled groan of agony. INSTANCE OF ACTUAL NARRATION.
    • Finally Jin. Nuff said.
      • No, not nuff said:

Ragna: JIN!?
Rachel: My goodness. This is... both unexpected and... pleasing.
Jin: You seem to be surrounded by a great number of beautiful women. Perhaps you could explain the meaning of all this?
Ragna: Hey, not you too! Oh, and what's with your eyes?... They're... heart-shaped!?
Jin: You horrible pack of harpies, don't you dare touch my brother! Get away from him, or I'LL CUT YOU TO PIECES!!

  • From the True End of Continuum Shift:

Ragna: "Now engaging the Idea Engine!"
Terumi: "...what?"

Makoto: "Oh... My... GAWD, Commander Kokonoe, that is so awesome! No... Seriously... I'm feelin' a tingly sensation in my naughty bits."
Kokonoe: "Oh hoho, I knew you'd appreciate it's beauty."
Makoto: "Of course, Professor Kokonoe. Oh, I can't wait to get my hands on his joystick. Please, can I have control? Please? Pretty please!?"
Kokonoe: "Oh, are you sure you can handle all that, Private?"
Kokonoe: "Stop tugging on it, Tager. It's just going to tire you out."

    • Also, Hakumen's appearance has him shortening his own Badass Creed.

Hakumen: "I am the white void, I am... et cetera, et cetera... THE END HAS COME!"

    • And the ending:

Hakumen: "THE END HAS COME!!" *explodes*

  • Carl's gag ending in Continuum Shift, which parodies Scooby Doo so much. He spends the night in the Academy grounds with Noel, Tsubaki and Makoto, trying to solve the "Seven Mysteries of the Academy". Each turns out to have increasingly implausible and funny explanations, including the mysterious piano playing and dancing skeleton being Valkenhayn playing the piano and dancing with the skeleton while fantasizing about Rachel, the disembodied laughter being Jin practising his laugh for when he faces Ragna, and the mysterious extra step on the stairs being Taokaka asleep at the bottom. Don't forget Ragna being the ghost girl, which is even more funny considering how much he's scared of ghosts.
  • NIIIII-SAAAAAAN!!!.
    • Although, the English version's "BROOOOOOOOOOOOOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" is just as funny.
  • Noel's Gag Ending. The hysterical voice of the waitress, Carl's memories of Noel's cooking, Bang trying to hold a conversation with Nirvana...then Noel's first dish comes out. The only way to describe it is that Bang apparently EXPLODES trying to eat it. And that's only the beginning...

"What that 'something' was defied description. It didn't sit on the plate so much as squat malevolently, hating all and being hated by all..."

    • Besides, you know your dish sucks when only Hazama likes it.
  • Tsubaki's Joke Ending, where she wanders into Orient Town and meets a very drunk Litchi. Yep, you guessed it. Noel's Calamity Trigger Joke Ending Part 2. Although, Tsubaki is much more co-operative.
  • Litchi's Joke Ending also, especially for this little gem when Bang thought Litchi is going to do something to him per the game rules...

Linhua: The previous holder must ki--
Bang: Ooh! Does this mean 'kiss passionately'!? Ah! Miss Litchi, whenever you're ready, I am ready also!!
Linhua: --ick him in the ass so hard.

  • From Taokaka's story mode, where after defeating Tsubaki, she "tests" her breasts. The Tuna Avenger deems them average.

Tsubaki: H-How dare she calls these "average". They're not average... are they?

  • Bang's Gag End as well. Taokaka nearly blurted out that Litchi is pretty much Oblivious to Love on Bang, in which Tsubaki, who has sworn to strike down on Bang if he lied (he told her that he and Litchi were dating), was nearly losing it. Bang tried bargaining Tao with meat buns to keep up with the lie... in which Tao starts displaying 'nasty' bargaining skills that ups the amount of meat buns she'll get (the voice also changed more 'sinisterly'). In the end, he... succeeded, sort of.

Blazblue: Continuum Shift Extend

  • The Fandom Nod in Calamity Trigger Reconstruction, when Bang is beaten by Jin...

Bang: Stand down, my numbered subordinates! This is my fight! But then again, it is hard to fight against someone who spams "Ice Cars" constantly...

  • Luna accusing Ragna of being a pedophile, and then attempting to pick a fight with him.

Luna: "Bring it on, Aqualung!"

  • The prelude to Rachel's intervention in Slight Hope. Seeing Hazama's calm and collected facade go flying out the window because Makoto was in an alternate timeline without knowing such herself is priceless.

"You know, when you said 'Noel Vermillion' a few moments ago, I damn near peed myself. All of my plans - POOF! - instantly undone. All thanks to you."
"Might as well ask for a pony, too, so long as you're wishing for unlikely things. Thanks to your flitting about doing what you please, my plans have gone fair-to-middling FUBAR! You're really starting to grate upon my nerves - sorry, but it's true. Relius was going to take care of you, but shit... I just don't think I can WAIT that long..."
"Damn vampire! You LIVE to cockblock me, don't you?! Well, UNlive... you know what I meant..."

    • Speaking of Makoto's Extend Story Mode, the exchange between Makoto and Rachel at the end was rather funny.

Rachel: Incidentally, I believe this is the point where you thank me.
Makoto: Oh... uh... thanks?
Rachel: That was milquetoast. Say it again! This time, with feeling!
Makoto: Thank you for this boon you have granted me! Uh, it is "boon", right?
Rachel: That'll do, beastkin. That'll do.

  • In Platinum's story, after Platinum left Ragna with mountainous bills of payment. Ragna attempts to claim that he is the Grim Reaper to avoid paying for the money... the waitress didn't buy it, taking excuse of how different Ragna looks like in real and in the bounty picture. And so, Ragna gets to be a dishwasher...
  • Makoto's Joke Ending. Dear God, Makoto's Joke Ending. Makoto runs a dramatic re-enactment of her questionable family life with randomized casting. It turns out like:

Makoto's Father: Noel.
Makoto's Mother: Hazama.
Makoto's Younger Sister, Mikoto: Bang.
Makoto's Older Brother, Mukoto: Valkenhayn.
Makoto's Younger Twin Siblings, Mekoto and Mokoto: Carl and Nirvana.
Makoto's Youngest Baby Sibling: Ragna.

    • Not to mention poor Makoto's increasing frustration at how it's turned out:

Makoto: What the eff, guys? Just because Mommy can be a psycho-bitch on occasion doesn't mean you have to cast a sociopath!
Makoto: YOU SONSABITCHES ARE DRIVING ME CRAZYYYYYYYYYY! *sobbing*

    • Also, Makoto's reaction to Ragna being the baby:

Ragna: Goo. ('Sup?)
Makoto: What the fuuu--?!
Ragna: Goo! Goo ga ga! (Hey! No F-Bombs!)

Makoto: "You have to take my word for it guys. We're already on thin ice with the ESRB (rating's board) as it is..."

  • Relius' Joke Ending is just as funny. When Kokonoe and Relius are doing a body-switching experiment, Hilarity Ensues. In order to help Relius, Kokonoe decides to use the soul-swapping machine to test out the unlucky subjects. Even better, try changing it to Japanese voice to show how Tomokazu Sugita, Chiwa Saito and Kana Ueda trying to act as Jin, Hazama and Bang, respectively
    • To clarify, Ragna and Jin swap with each other, then Ragna!Jin swaps with Makoto. Hazama and Taokaka swap, followed by Bang and Rachel.
    • Many of their reactions to switching bodies count:

Makoto as Ragna: Kokonoe, did you steal my boobs? And for some reason my butt feels incomplete... where's my tail?
 Taokaka as Hazama: Who stuck Tao in a hipster, meow?
 Hazama as Taokaka: Kokonoe, where are my pants? I'm feeling an updraft, you kinky scientist, you...
Makoto as Ragna: (after listening to Ragna as Jin and Jin as Makoto talking) Geez, and I thought my family was nuts...

  • Platinum's Joke Ending is a merciless parody of the Magical Girl genre where the flat-chested girls, Platinum, Rachel, Noel, and Nirvana, plus, um, Carl, team up to take down the evil Boing Queen, Litchi, and her minions, Taokaka, Tsubaki, and Makoto, along with the mole Arakune and personal bodyguard Ragna (who is easily scared off with a ghost joke). Complete with the mysterious masked hero, the Puppeteer Mask, Relius.
  • Valkenhayn's Joke Ending is not as funny as the others, but is also pretty notable. Most of the time, Ragna gets loads of joke abuse in his gag reel. Some of which are:
    • Who knew that Ragna the Bloodedge doesn't know how to use a smartphone.

Ragna: Don't-say-it-'cause-you-know-I-hate-those-things-and-shut-up-'cause-I'm-fine!
Ragna: Goddamnit Jin! If you pinch my ass one more time...

    • Ragna seems to get beaten up by Valkenhayn for trying to wake up Rachel.
    • Not to mention Valkenhayn's life threatening trek into a monster-filled canyon, to use a microwave!

Teach Me, Miss Litchi!/Reloaded

  • "I've also thought of installing one on your-" GIGANTIC TAGER!
    • "I don't think I need that kind of... um... enhancement".
  • Pretty much the whole first episode.
    • This exchange:

Litchi: Why are you girls dressed like that?
All Girls: !!!!
Noel: We... We're students... from, the military academy...
Tsubaki: What she said.
Makoto: Right!
Litchi: But I could've sworn you were...
Makoto: Shaddup!

  • Also, the first episode of Teach Me: Miss Litchi! Reloaded!

Taokaka: I see three sets of boobies... and one cutting board.
Noel: Cutting board!? She actually compared me to a cutting board!

    • And:

Litchi: Yes, Tao. That's amazing!
Makoto: HOW CAN YOU CALL THIS "AMAZING" WITH A STRAIGHT FACE!? TURN IT OFF RIGHT NOW, BEFORE THE NOL ANIMAL WELFARE DIVISION COMES DOWN ON US!!

    • And this, after Tao eats a dictionary in an attempt to become smarter:

Taokaka: Meow, this tastes horrible. Tao is very disappointed.
Makoto: (underwhelmed) Yeah. I kinda suspected as much.

      • In fact, let's just say pretty much anything Makoto says or does in this episode.
  • From Taokaka: "Poly-tits? Are those a new type of boobies?"
  • Ragna's description of Taokaka's so-called "handwriting":

Ragna: What the hell is this? Can you read any of this? I mean your writing...it looks like you dipped a bunch of worms in paint, made them do an unholy mix of breakdance and lambada, and watched as they exploded from the strain...but a hundred times worse.

Help Me, Professor Kokonoe!

  • Doubling as a Crowning Moment of Awesome: In Hazama's 'Help me, Dr. Kokonoe!' section... Hazama finally gets his comeuppance for being a Troll when Kokonoe brutalizes him after he badmouthed her in HER show.
  • Just as the Extend gag reels are some of the funniest yet, so are the Help Me Professor Kokonoe segments.
    • While Makoto's bad ending is pure Nightmare Fuel and Tear Jerker material, it is followed by a very funny HMPK segment, to help cheer you up. Kokonoe flying into A-Cup Angst rage has to be seen to be believed.
    • Relius once again proves his credentials as a Badass villain by trolling Kokonoe. In her own lab! And he doesn't even speak much!
    • Platinum's isn't bad either. Poor Kokonoe struggling to put up with the little brat (or brats?).
    • Finally, Valkenhayn's little meeting with the Jerkass Catgirl Mad Scientist hangs a lampshade on why Kokonoe hasn't been made a playable character.

Valkenhayn: (Crisis averted... for now...)

  • Jin's episode of Help Me, Professor Kokonoe!. Kokonoe gets fed up with Jin when he pulls his usual crap, so she summons her ulitmate weapon: Ragna. The results must be seen to be believed.
  • Arakune's episode of Help Me, Professor Kokonoe! involves a meeting with the totally charming and totally Out of Character "Irresistable Arakune". Both Litchi and Kokonoe prefer the old Arakune.
    • Bonus on Arakune's version: Tager in a French Maid outfit, and being turned into a vacuum cleaner to clean up Arakune's dirts. The poor guy.

Blazblue Expanded Media

"Much like Communism, the A-button Tager Buster is invincible! ... For a while. It also has a lot of range, but deals only weak, American damage. The B-button Tager Buster has less range than the A-version, but is faster and does real, Soviet damage!"

  • Another one from the Drama CD with One Dialogue, Two Conversations between Jin and Noel. He is talking about doing (killing) a debt collector that has been pestering Ragna. She thinks that he is talking about doing Ragna.

Noel: W-were you talking about doing it or not?
Jin: I'm going to do it. It'll be quick.
Noel: EH!!!?
Jin: Why are you so surprised? Doing someone like him won't take long.
Noel: M-major! That's not the right mindset! You need to be more careful about the other person!
Jin: But of course.
Noel: It should not be done one sidedly... you should consider the other person... with care and love... the two of you should feel all bubbly and then nyannyan...
Jin: ... What are you talking about, Lieutenant?

    • And in the end, the clueless Jin ends up thinking that "nyannyan" is the new street slang for "killing" someone.
  • The Drama CD gives us "The Grand Debate of Which Shape Weiners Should be in a Lunch Box." Who would have known that one can deliver a Rousing Speech over weiners shapes. Remember kids, Duodecim takes their weiners seriously. I swear that the whole shenanigan is a shout out of the infamous "Truth of Strawberry Milk" speech from Gintama.
  • If you like Hazama's Gag Reel in CS, you might enjoy the CT Drama CD where Jin got subjected to similar attack by Taokaka thanks to the food that Noel spilled over his pants. It's like Jin finally got a comeuppance after all the creepy crap he put Ragna though. Jin screaming his head off while struggling to get Tao off his pants:

Jin: No, don't bite it!! IT'S NOT A WEINEEEERRRRR!!!!

  • One of the youtuber by the name Daggertail100 created a fan-made of Help Me! Doctor Hazama!. Here's one of the funny video regarding him and his refund department. Try checking out his channel as there's some funny moment in his segment.
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