< Berserk Abridged

Berserk Abridged/Funny


  • Episode 2: Griffith's reaction to Guts fighting in battle and his attempt to cover up his feelings.

Griffith: Such power and grace. I must have him.
Red-Headed Member of the Hawks: What was that, sir?
Griffith: In... my army. I must have him in my army. I covered that up well.

    • "I THOUGHT I SAID NO MUSIC!!" "You said no Johnny Cash--this is Billy Joel!"
    • Guts's dream sequence. All of it.

Guts: It's almost as if this is a metaphor for something too horrible to contemplate! (cut to manga panel of Guts getting raped by Donovan) Holy crap! Too horrible to contemplate is right. First thing tomorrow, I'm getting back to work repressing this.

    • Guts' first day with the Hawks:

Judeau: But I don't get it. One minute, Griffith is coming on to you like a fangirl backstage at a Backstreet Boys concert, and the next he's ordering a naked woman to share your tent.
Casca: Maybe he's just playing hard to get.
Guts: Yeah, or maybe he's hoping one night with you will turn me off of women altogether.
[Casca decks him]

  • Episode 3: The entire rematch, but especially Griffith.

Griffith: [in a hilariously effete tone] Now say you're my bitch, or I'll dislocate your shoulder.
Griffith: And now, by some alien logic, I own you, Guts.
Griffith: Hey, everyone! I own a human life!
The Band of the Hawk: *Hooray! Cheering!*

  • Episode 4: The homoerotic water-fight.

Guts: Well, I guess it's true what the Republicans say: All it takes is one homoerotic water-fight to turn ya queer.

  • Episode 5: "The porn! The porn! The porn is on fire! Everyone retreat, we'll just have to make do with Griffith's back issues of Cosmo!"
  • Episode 6: Zodd telling Guts' and Griffith' futures and comparing Guts to Naruto and Griffith to Sasuke.
  • Episode 7: Guts' mercifully short lived musical moment.

Guts: (As he kicks the crap out of some perfectly innocent guards in a Brock Sampson Comedic Sociopathy moment) I loooovvveee hurting people! I loooovveee beating people up!

    • Also Griffith's reaction to the Naruto comparison above.

Griffith: Wait, how come I have to be the emo freak? You're like eight times more emo than I am.

      • How can any one forget "Hey Griffith, put some pants on! Straight people are here!
  • Episode 12: Guts thinks menstruation is a myth, and that women steal men's bodily fluids to make leprechauns.

Guts: Hey seriously, you should take a look at that injury between your legs. I'm kinda starting to worry. I tended the rest of your wounds while you were asleep, but I couldn't get that one to stop bleeding.

    • "Governor, I brought you a Pogo Stick!" "Oh Thank you!" "NAUGHTY!"
  • Episode 22: "Damn you demons and your diet pills.....DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!"
  • When Zodd finds out the show is canceled due to, according to the priest from Hellsing, personal reasons, it didn't go well on the abridger's end...

Zodd: "KNEEL BEFORE ZODD, BITCH! KNEEL BEFORE ZODD!"

  • From one of the "War of the Abridged Series Creators" videos, when Guts works too well at getting a Cactrot upset.
  • As well as the Christmas episode done with a few other abridgers: NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY!
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