Beast Wars/Funny

• "The Low Road," the entire episode, which includes constant rants between Rattrap and Dinobot:

Dinobot: Excuse me. Are you implying that the current situation is somehow...my responsibility?!
Rattrap: Well, you did start it... gearhead!
Dinobot: I BEG to differ...cheese lips!
Rattrap: Pre-evolved birdbrain!
Dinobot: Eater of garbage!!
Cheetor: (listening in) Sheesh. And they call me the immature one.


Dinobot: Wait! I detect a scent! Vile corruption... a whiff of festering putification!
Rattrap: So I ate a limburger sandwich for lunch! I'm a rat, gimme a break!
Dinobot: I've been... uncomfortably aware of your stench for the past hour, vermin. This is something else... something over... THERE!
(Tarantulas suddenly springs out and legs it)
Rattrap: Oh yeah! He's mine!
Dinobot: Leave battle to the warriors, mouse!!!


Dinobot: Unlike you, I do not spend my time scurrying through sewers!
Rattrap: Yeah? Well, a sewer smells better than your breath, bronto-brain!
Dinobot: Nnngrrh! You will get used to it WHEN I BITE YOUR USELESS HEAD OFF!
(Tarantulas suddenly wakes up)
Tarantulas: DIIIIE, MAXIMALS!
Dinobot and Rattrap: SHUT UP!
(They both punch Tarantulas)


Rattrap: So, uh, you got a better plan?
Dinobot: No, but I still despise the idea of expiring underground. It lacks a...a warrior's nobility.
Rattrap: Oh, hey-hey, no sweat, heh heh. 'Cause I ain't lettin' nobody waste you down here! That's a job I'm reserving for myself!
Dinobot: Oooh, I appreciate your concern, but let me assure you, being shot in the back by a malodorous mouse would not exactly earn me a seat in Silicon Valhalla!
Rattrap: Awwww, poor baby.

• • This is made funnier when you realize that Dinobot and Rattrap have the same voice actor.
    • And even funnier when you realize that the voice actor is capable of switching between the two voices without pause, so the conversations above were all recorded in real time!
  • And THE Crowning Moment of Funny for Beast Wars: Rhinox blows Tarantulas' labs with the Preds inside of it with a FART!!! It can be seen from the outer space, for Primus' sake!!!. It can't be described with words, it must be witnessed.

Megatron: This is certainly the most humiliating defeat of my entire career, yeeessss...

• • A bit of Lampshade Hanging:

Blackarachnia: Why do you always talk to yourself?
Megatron: I simply have a penchant for intelligent conversation.

• • The Predacons set-up an ambush at Tarantulas' lair for the two approaching Maximals. Upon Scorponok warning of their near arrival, Waspinator, Inferno and Terrorsaur immediately open fire at the entrance.

Megatron: Cease your fire, you fools! Wait for a target!

• • Failed hostage negotiation:

Dinobot: (holding up Tarantulas) Do not fire, Megatron! I have a hostage!
Megatron: Why so you do.
(Megatron immediately blasts Tarantulas to scrap)

• Every and any time Waspinator is blown up. Even in the most hilarant ways:

"Waspinator having good day! Not get shot once." BLAM!!!

• • And then of course there's the time the poor bug is crushed into a cube and has to drag himself off to repairs with one arm. Which would be utterly sad without his running commentary:

Waspinator: Oh, sure, don't mind Waspinator, Waspinator just lie here and suffer, drag himself to CR chamber...

• • Making it even funnier is how everybody else seems to be aware of it in-series!

Rattrap: I still got my Pred parts collection! Guess how many pieces of Waspinator I got? (Probably enough to build a whole robot) Or:
Waspintor: (Over communicator) She (Una) injuring Waspinator!
Megatron: Ah, situation normal then, yeeesssss. Bring her in.

• Optimus is about to sacrifice himself to save his team and Earth itself. It's quite an emotional moment and one by one each member of the team offers nobly to go in his stead. All except one...

Optimus: Well, what about you, Rattrap?
Rattrap: Hey, suicide ain't in my job description.

• • Seconds later, Rattrap works up the gall to ask if he can have Optimus' captain's quarters if he doesn't come back.
  • And for a little while Optimus is presumed dead after this, and Rattrap does indeed move all of his shit into Optimus' quarters almost immediately.
  • All There in the Manual states that they've known each other longer than any of the Maximals, so it's probably a humorous coping mechanism to Rattrap. Hopefully.
• Rattrap vs. Waspinator in Other Voices, Part 1. Rattrap reminds Waspinator that they have a ceasefire. Waspinator agrees and points out that he's not using any weapons and proceeds to punch Rattrap. Rattrap proceeds to remind him that he's one of the dirtiest fighters of the Beast Wars, and proceeds to kick him in the gearbox, robonoogies him so hard that it produces sparks, then kicks him in Waspinators big... FAT... STRIPEY...
• Code of Hero, of all episodes:

Rhinox: "Remember that trans-warp explosion?"

Optimus: *stares* ^[1]

Rhinox: "Okay, stupid question."

• • As the Transformers wiki put it: "The rhino has a once-in-a-lifetime lapse in intelligence."
• In "Changing of the Guard", Rattrap is tasked with salvaging the AI from their sunken original base in a mini-sub. Not only do we have Cheetor imagining himself playing with it like a cat toy, there's the bit where Rattrap is enjoying being a sub-captain, complete with a jaunty sea tune playing in the background, then we cut to Silverbolt staring at his communicator as the music still plays.
• "Dark Voyage", where Rhinox, Rattrap, Dinobot, and Cheetor are blinded, and Rhinox is the only one calm when Cheetor is being squeezed to death by a giant snake.

Dinobot: What's happening? Are we under attack?
Rhinox: Don't. Panic.
Dinobot: You won't get me! *runs into a tree*

• • Also from the same episode, one of the few times you ever seen Dinobot completely lose it.

Dinobot: (after being told to calm down after being blinded, slowly) Calm down...? (Hysterically) WE CAN'T SEE!!!

• The season 3 episode "Cutting Edge" adds three, count 'em three, Funny Moments. First is when the Preds stand overlooking the Maximals' just-vacated base:

Megatron: The base is undermanned and unprotected. Ours for the asking.
Quickstrike: Aw, now we ain't gonna ask, are we? How's about we just blast our way in there, an' slag everybody and take it?!
Megatron: Mmm... Okay!

• • Second is shortly after, when the Predacons blast a hole in the Maximals' front door. Both Inferno and Quickstrike ask to be let in first. Megatron lets Quickstrike do it:

Inferno: Royalty, why was I not chosen?
Megatron: Because, Inferno, when expecting booby traps... (Quickstrike gets flattened between a metal plate and a giant boxing glove) ...always send the boob in first.

• • Last is when Optimus Primal has been downed by Tarantulus hitting him with... something... and he's in radio contact with Rattrap as the something kicks in:

Optimus: Just hang on, Rattrap. You and Rhinox are our last hope. Defend the... Defend the... (Singing) There he is, my little guy. There he is, my little guy. Isn't he cute?
Rattrap: That's... not what I wanted to hear...

• • Not to mention that Optimus' head grows to twice its normal size when he starts singing.
• Dinobot fights his clone in "Double Dinobot". So where is it?

Dinobot: I'm afraid he's gone for good. A shame really! He was such as handsome creature... and, quite tasty!

(Dinobot picks a bit of the evil clone out of his teeth, flicks it at Optimus, then belches loudly.)

Optimus: ...You're disgusting.

• • The Mirror Routine performed by Dinobot and his clone.
• In the episode "Changing of the Guard," Rattrap is assigned to retrieve the security system from the Maximal's (submerged) former base and has to dive in a submersible unit. Though initially unhappy about this, Rattrap starts enjoying his underwater jaunt, as evidenced by a happy little tune that starts playing... cut to Silverbolt on the shore, listening to the music coming from his comm system with an utterly confused look on his face.
• From "Coming of the Fuzors, Part 2". Dinobot being forced to ride Rattrap's roadster mode.

Dinobot: To think that a warrior must become........a rat patrol

• Inferno's failed attack in "Deep Metal".
• In "Maximal, No More":

Megatron: Inferno, aid Quickstrike.
Inferno: As you command, my Queen. (walks off)
Dinobot: I was not aware you had given yourself a new title.

• In "Other Visits, Part 1," after monitoring Tarantulas operating on his own, Megatron attempts to contact him and is ignored.

Megatron: Again that spider defies me!
Inferno: Say the word, my Queen, and he shall burn.
Megatron: Not just yet... and for the last time, stop calling me that!
Inferno: As you command, my Qu--
(Megatron strangles Inferno one-handed)

• "Gorilla Warfare" has Optimus and Dinobot doing a biological survey, and they discover a wierd plant. Apparently, this plant can not only hear, but get offended, since it spits a barbed seed right where Dinobots arms can't reach it, leading to this:

Dinobot: Get this thing off of me! I can't reach it! (freaked out) GET IT OFF!!!
(Optimus removes the pod and drops it, where it blooms into a new plant)
Optimus: That's how it spreads it's seed. See, we've learned something. :)
Dinobot: Yeess. From now on I shoot my dinner salad before I eat it.

• • The fact that a) It didn't occur to Dinobot that he could just transform and knock it off and b) it actually becomes a Chekhov's Gun later, just makes it funnier.
• In "Law of the Jungle," Waspinator remains oddly insistent on waiting for the proper signal before attacking Maximals:

Terrorsaur: Do something!
Waspinator: Terrorsaur has not given signal.
Terrorsaur: ATTACK, YOU IMBECILE!
Waspinator: (calmly) Waspinator will engage enemy.

• In "Victory," the Predacons are hiding out in very close quarters, and it's clearly starting to get on their nerves:

Terrorsaur: Stop slobbering on me, Tarantulas!
Tarantulas: I am feasting!
Waspinator: Give Waspinator more room! Tarantulas fat enough already!
Tarantulas: If Waspinator does not stop cuddling me like a stuffed toy when he sleeps, I'll eat him as well!
Waspinator: I'd like to see you try!
Tarantulas: Yes, I will!
Waspinator: No, you won't!
Tarantulas: I will so!
Terrorsaur: You all make me sick! I can't stand this any longer, Megatron! I've gotta get out!
(Terrorsaur hops around and cackles crazily until Scorponok casually punches him)

• • After explanations of how and why they've been hiding:

Megatron: So no one leaves!
Terrorsaur: Leaving? Who said anything about leaving?

• Waspinator quits the Predacons.

1. ↑ Optimus piloted a trans-warp bomb into the second alien moon, destroying it before it could destroy the planet. But he couldn't escape the pod, so he blew up with it. Then he got better.