Amsterdamned

Somewhere, somewhere in the black night
Shining eyes follow your stride...

—"Amsterdamned" by Lois Lane

Amsterdamned is a 1988 Dutch horror thriller film by Dick Maas (The Lift, Flodder).

The film is set in the eponymous (damned!) capital, where a Serial Killer wearing a scuba gear is prowling in the city canals and uses them to get to his victims.

Amsterdam was damned by:

• Eighties Hair
• Absolute Cleavage: Laura's date wear.
• Absurdly Spacious Sewer: Eric chases the killer into one.
• A Date with Rosie Palms: "He's in the john, I expect that he's masturbating."
• Alone with the Psycho
• Animal Reaction Shot: From a cat, during the raft attack.
• Ankle Drag: Happens to the second environmentalist.
• Ate His Gun: The killer, and a harpoon gun at that.
• Attempted Rape: A taxi driver tries to force the prostitute he's accompanying to perform oral sex on him. Unfortunately for him, she bites.
• Badass: Eric.
• Bald of Evil: The killer.
• Big Damn Heroes: Eric and Vermeer arriving just as Laura is about to be dragged under by the killer.
• Blood Is Squicker in Water
• Blood-Splattered Innocents: The prostitute's body is hung from a bridge, and ends up entering a tour boat filled with (among other types) young children and nuns.
• Bow Ties Are Cool: Willy.
• Bus Full of Innocents: Appear throughout the boat chase.
• Butt Monkey: Vermeer.
• Carry a Big Stick: When she thinks he's the killer, Laura beats Martin with a boat oar.
• Chase Scene: Two; the first one has the police chasing a suspect on a motorcycle, and the second one has Eric chase the actual killer on boats they commandeer.
• The Coroner: Sam.
• Covers Always Lie: One makes it look kind of like an alien invasion film.
• Crazy Homeless People: The bag lady.
• Daylight Horror: The raft victim and John's deaths.
• Disposable Sex Worker: The first victim.
• Disturbed Doves: Or ducks, in this case.
• Driven to Suicide: The killer.
• The Drunken Sailor: One of the victims.
• Epic Fail: The main suspect tries to jump an opening bridge on his motorcycle, and fails rather badly.
• Everyone Is a Suspect
• Evil Overlooker
• Eye Scream: "Her eyes were already fish food." And there's also something wrong with one of the sailor victim's eye.
• Facial Horror: When the killer's face is finally revealed, it's pretty fucked up.
• Fan Disservice: The prostitute's naked, mutilated body.
• Fan Service with a Smile
• Fight Scene: An underwater one, between John and the killer.
• Friend to Psychos: Martin, though rather unknowingly.
• Good Colors, Evil Colors: The killer's gear is black, and he steals a black speedboat, while John's gear is yellow, and Eric chases after the killer's boat with a yellow one.
• Good Cop, Bad Cop: Vermeer and Eric, respectively.
• Gory Discretion Shot: The killer committing suicide.
• Gratuitous English
• Grimy Water
• Grievous Bottley Harm: The main suspect lost his job when, in a drunken rage, he attacked someone with a broken bottle.
• Groin Attack: The taxi driver getting bit, and the raft victim getting knifed.
• Hair of Gold: Laura.
• Harpoon Gun: Vermeer gets shot in the arm with one, while Eric sustains a shot to the shoulder a bit later. The killer also commits suicide with one.
• Hazardous Water
• Hope Spot: The second environmentalist swims to shore and flags down a passing truck, but is dragged underwater before help can reach him.
• Hostile Weather: It suddenly becomes stormy during the finale.
• I Know Karate: "No reason to be afraid, I do judo."
• Impending Doom POV: The opening.
• Jerkass: The taxi driver, and the suspect.
• Kid Detective: Anneke and Willy.
• Knife Nut
• Little Miss Snarker: Anneke.
• Lock and Load Montage: The killer gets one.
• Malevolent Masked Men
• Man Bites Man: The first victim deals with the taxi driver trying to force her to perform fellatio on him via biting.
• Mirror Scare
• Moe Greene Special: Eric manages to shoot the killer right in the diving goggles.
• Mr. Exposition: Martin.
• Murderer POV
• Nerd Glasses: Willy.
• No Name Given: Most of the victims, and the killer.
• Obstructive Bureaucrat: The mayor.
• Off with His Head: The first environmentalist's death.
• Once Is Not Enough: Averted.
• One Word Title
• Peek-a-Boo Corpse: After his buddy disappears from their boat, the second enviromentalist pulls in the anchor, and discovers his friend's head impaled on it. Later on, John is scared when a dead sailor pops out of a closet while he is exploring a sunken ship.
• Perma-Stubble: Eric.
• Perp Sweating
• Pie in the Face: Eric stops a bakery robbery by handcuffing the robber, and slamming his face into a cake. It is evidently delicious.
• Pipe Pain: While doing her own little investigation with Willy, Anneke grabs one.
• Portmantitle
• Ramp Jump: With boats!
• Red Herring: The most prominent one being Martin.
• Scenery Porn
• The Scourge of God: The Salvationist died after stealing some money.
• Scream Discretion Shot: The raft victim getting knifed between the legs.
• Seers: Willy claims to be one.
• Serrated Blade of Pain: "He used a similar instrument, but the knife was another type. One important difference is it had a serrated edge."
• Serial Killer
• Shirtless Scene: Eric.
• The Shrink: Martin.
• Slashed Throat: John's death.
• Spiteful Spit: While being interrogated, a suspect spits in Eric's face.
• Spooky Seance: Held by Willy.
• Stealing From the Till: A Salvationist pockets some of the donations she's collected.
• Stranger Behind the Mask: The killer is a random ex-diver pissed off at society because he was disfigured in a toxic waste-related incident.
• Stuff Blowing Up: The killer crashes his own boat into another, resulting in a fiery explosion.
• Tears of Blood: When the sailor's dead body is found, blood appears to be leaking from one of his eyes.
• Ungrateful Bastard: The bakery owner.

"You used excessive force, and you ruined my cake!"

• Vader Breath
• The Voiceless: The killer.