A Fish Called Wanda/Funny
- The old lady and her dogs Brick Joke, of course.
- Ken correctly pronounces "Cathcart Towers Hotel". The shocked, delighted look on his face after he says it is priceless.
- Minutes before, when Archie is trying to calmly encourage Ken to spit it out but, due to time being of the essence, is getting increasingly frustrated until he finally just screams "Oh, come on!" And then sheepishly apologises and starts again.
- Otto: "Hi. I'm Harvey. Manfred-jin-sin-jin."
- And even more when Wendy repeats it: "My father was in the Secret Service, Mr. Manfredjinsinjin"
- Asshoooooooooooooooooooooole!
- I Wendy...I Wanda..I wonder...
- Boy, they whooped yer hide REAL GOOD.
- Will you leave immediately?
- Don't call me stupid!
Wanda: I was dealing with something delicate, Otto. I'm setting up a guy who's incredibly important to us, who's going to tell me where the loot is and if they're going to come and arrest you. And you come loping in like Rambo without a jockstrap and you dangle him out a fifth-floor window. Now, was that smart? Was it shrewd? Was it good tactics? Or was it stupid?
Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wanda: Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.
- Otto attacking the "burglar"
- And then apologizing for it.
- I love watching your ass when you walk. Is that beautiful or what? Nobody go near him! He's mine!
- You're going to kill her!
- You're the vulgarian, you fuck.
- It's K-k-k-ken, coming to k-k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-k-k-ken?
- Followed by a Crowning Moment of Awesome
- REVENGE!!
- HEY! I LOST MY STUTTER!
- When it eventually dawns on Otto that Ken actually is finally in a position to make up for all his poor treatment at Otto's hands over the course of the movie for realsies this time, he switches from arrogant bullying jerkass to fawning sweet-talker so fast the speed-of-light barrier is almost broken: "Oh Kenny? May I call you Kenny? I'M SORRY I ATE YOUR FISH!"
- Oh, I'm so very very ssssssss FUCK YOU!
- Okay...okay...DISAPPOINTED!
- May I kiss you, Ken?
- Touch his dick, and he's dead!
- Archie's apology to Otto.
- Back to A Fish Called Wanda