The Slammin' Salmon
The Slammin' Salmon is a 2009 comedy film by Broken Lizard. It is about the owner of a restaurant who holds a contest to see which one of his waiters can earn the most money in a single night. The winner receives $10,000, and the loser receives a "beat down" by the owner, Cleon Salmon, a former heavyweight boxer (played by Michael Clarke Duncan). Kevin Heffernan directed the film, his first time for a Broken Lizard film.[1]
The Slammin' Salmon | |
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Theatrical release poster | |
Directed by | Kevin Heffernan[1] |
Produced by | Peter Lengyel Richard Perello |
Written by | Broken Lizard |
Starring | Michael Clarke Duncan Jay Chandrasekhar Kevin Heffernan Steve Lemme Paul Soter Erik Stolhanske Cobie Smulders April Bowlby Olivia Munn |
Music by | Nathan Barr |
Cinematography | Robert Barocci |
Edited by | Brad Katz |
Distributed by | Anchor Bay Films |
Release date |
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Running time | 90 minutes |
Country | United States |
Language | English |
Plot summary
In Miami, Florida, the sadistic and vacuous retired heavyweight boxing champion Cleon Salmon owns the critically acclaimed sports-themed restaurant The Slammin' Salmon. His staff comprises of manager Rich, socially inept Nuts, callous Guy, pre-med Tara, ballet student Mia, bit player Connor, and chef Dave with his busboy twin brother Donnie. Cleon orders Rich to make $20,000 for the night to pay the yakuza, whom he owed said amount after losing a bet hunting albino in Japan; otherwise, the yakuza would take the restaurant. Cleon explains that he is strapped for cash as he just bought "some land on the moon next to John Travolta". Rich reluctantly agrees, horrified that if he refused his order, Cleon would get beat up and decapitated as what he did to his dead boxing opponents.
Rich makes only $2,000 in the beginning of the shift, and notices that his staff is slacking at work. An hour and a half later, Rich incentivizes them with a "prize" of a four-day, three-night stay at a resort hotel in Key Largo that he booked by imitating Cleon's intimidating voice via phone call. Although the staff profits from selling their expensive cod meal, Connor, Nuts, and Mia all get into trouble while serving. Rich accidentally swallows an engagement ring that buried into a brownie and belonged to Connor's table, Nuts begins acting strange while serving, and Mia suffers a first-degree burn after Guy slips and accidentally spills a hot soup onto her. Consequently, the ring's owner becomes livid, and Mia's burnt face affects her ability to coax male customers into buying their specialty.
Cleon is disappointed when the staff made only $12,000 for the final hours. As a result, he incentivizes them with a cash prize of $10,000 for the top-selling waiter and a "broken rib sandwich" to whoever is in last place. When Rich argues that giving away $10,000 would be counterproductive to collecting his debt, Cleon retorts that he "ain't a number's man. I punch people for a living."
The staff become determined to win the prize and avoid Cleon's beating, and some attempt to one-up the other. Guy grows impatient with a bibliophile man who has not ordered a meal since he sat. It causes him to relinquish his table to Donnie, whom Rich recently promoted to waiting tables on the spot. Due to his inexperience waiting and his clumsiness, Donnie gets into trouble with a table occupied by British men and attempts to escape from work with the fear of disappointing Cleon, only to be thwarted by him on the street. Tara then sees Donnie crying in the cold storage room and tells her that he is afraid will get beat up by Cleon if he finished last. She then uplifts Donnie and offers one of her tables that she claims, and offers a great tip and good check for him. Meanwhile, Nuts fails to take his medication on time and transforms into his bizarre split personality Zongo who then force-feeds a cod meal into a customer's mouth while being bottomless underneath his apron. This causes Cleon to punch him in the gut and fall unconscious. Rich consumes a laxative and successfully defecates the ring.
Guy is frustrated when Donnie outranks him on the scoreboard. He then fabricates a lie that the Alaskan king crab had spoiled in an attempt to sabotage a table Donnie is waiting at, causing Donny's customers turn at Guy. Meanwhile, Mia causes a table to puke and bail out after strands of her bloodied hair Guy blew fall in a customer's drink. Tara does not earn a tip from a greedy customer, but Connor does even though it come from an estranged TV producer he once worked with.
At closing time, the bibliophile man gives Donnie a $1,000 tip; he explains that he is dying of a terminal illness and Donnie was the only waiter content to let him read his copy of War and Peace quietly. After bidding Donnie farewell, however, the man gets rammed by a horse to death. Later, Rich announces the top-seller as Tara, whom Donnie boosted to victory by giving her his huge tip to repay hers kindness when they were in the cold storage together. Cleon is disappointed at Rich when the staff made only $19,000 the whole night. When Cleon takes the staffs' tips to supply the missing amount, Rich toughens up and confronts Cleonm who then realizes that he only owed 20,000 yen ($170) and shares the takings with the staff. Since Guy is the lowest-selling waiter, Cleon beats him before paying the yakuza.
Cast
Staff
- Michael Clarke Duncan – Cleon "Slammin'" Salmon, the unstable, intimidating, and grammatically inaccurate owner of the restaurant. A recurring gag where he shrieks "Whatever Motherfucker!!" in response to being corrected on his grammar mistakes.
- Jay Chandrasekhar – Nuts/Zongo, a waiter with a split personality disorder. One side is socially awkward; the other is over-the-top and insane.
- Kevin Heffernan – Richardo "Rich" Perente, the timid manager (post movie opening) and a former waiter at the restaurant who was derogatorily nicknamed "Cunty MacTwat" due to his cowardice.
- Steve Lemme – Connor Rhodes, a washed-up actor who ends up working for the restaurant as a waiter.
- Paul Soter – Donald "Donnie" Kanogi, a clumsy busboy for the restaurant. Soter also voices Dave Kanogi, an ill-tempered, obnoxious, whiny chef who is Donnie's twin brother.
- Erik Stolhanske – Guy "Meat-drapes" Metdrapedes, an arrogant, callous waiter.
- Cobie Smulders – Tara, a calm and reserved medical school student who works at the restaurant.
- April Bowlby – Mia, an aspiring ballerina who is a stubborn, flirtatious, childish waitress and Connor's old flame,
- Nat Faxon – Carl the Manager (movie opening).
- Michael Yurchak – Jaime the Line Chef.
- Carrie Clifford – Patty the Hostess.
- Richard Perello – Fidel the Bartender.
Customers
- Will Forte – Horace ("The Lone Diner"), a terminally-ill avid reader.
- Lance Henriksen – Dick Lobo, the director of the fictitious TV series "CFI Hotlanta".
- Olivia Munn – Samara Dubois, Marlon's Fiancée.
- Vivica A. Fox – Nutella, a famous singer.
- Morgan Fairchild – Herself.
- Sendhil Ramamurthy – Marlon Specter, a famous TV star.
- Angel Oquendo – Hispanic Customer.
- Jeff Chase – Anthony.
- Carla Gallo – Stacy.
- Rosalie Ward – Merlot Customer.
- Jim Gaffigan – Stanley Ballin, the manager of the Persuasions Spa and Casino Resort Hotel in Key Largo.
- Bobbi Sue Luther – Cod Customer #1.
- J. D. Walsh – Cod Customer #3.
- Koji Kataoka – Mr. Yamamori.
- Smith Cho – Translator.
- Jim Rash – Disgruntled Businessman.
- Gillian Vigman – The Escort.
- Michael Weaver – The John.
- Philippe Brenninkmeyer – King Crab Customer.
- Peter "Navy" Tuiasosopo – Miami Dolphin #1.
- Marc Evan Jackson – Dry Sac Customer.
- Candace Smith – Eva Salmon-Perente, Rich's wife and Cleon's younger sister.
Release
The film premiered at the Slamdance Film Festival on January 17, 2009.[2] It was released to limited theaters in the United States on December 11, 2009.[3] On April 13, 2010, the film was released on DVD and Blu-ray.
Reception
The film received mostly negative reviews. Rotten Tomatoes reported that 35% of critics gave the film a positive review based on a sample of 26, and an average score of 4.9 out of 10.[4] Neil Genzlinger of The New York Times praised Duncan's performance, but noted that many of the jokes in the film are tired and old.[5] Michael O'Sullivan, writing for The Washington Post, noted that the film engages in "lowbrow insults and slapsticky shenanigans" and its humor "hovers around crotch level."[6]
References
- Yamato, Jen (March 5, 2008). "Sneak Peek: Inside Broken Lizard's Next Film, Slammin' Salmon". Rotten Tomatoes. Retrieved March 8, 2008.
- Vice, Jeff (December 8, 2008). "Slamdance announces '09 slate of flicks". Deseret News. Retrieved December 28, 2008.
- "The Slammin' Salmon | Moviephone". Moviephone.
- "The Slammin' Salmon". Rotten Tomatoes. Retrieved July 16, 2018.
- Genzlinger, Neil (December 11, 2009). "A Restaurant in Full Hustle on a Make-or-Break Night". The New York Times. Retrieved December 16, 2009.
- O'Sullivan, Michael (December 11, 2009). "On the menu: Lowbrow farce". The Washington Post. Retrieved December 16, 2009.