Stan Helsing

Stan Helsing (released in some countries as Scary Movie 5, Mega Monster Movie or Horror Movie) is a 2009 Canadian-American horror comedy film written and directed by Bo Zenga. It stars Steve Howey, Diora Baird, Kenan Thompson, Desi Lydic and Leslie Nielsen. Released on October 23, 2009 by Anchor Bay Entertainment, the film is similar to the Scary Movie franchise and is a parody of horror films.

Stan Helsing
Directed byBo Zenga
Produced byBo Zenga
Devon Delapp
Written byBo Zenga
StarringSteve Howey
Diora Baird
Kenan Thompson
Desi Lydic
Leslie Nielsen
Music byRyan Shore
Production
company
Boz Productions
Distributed byAnchor Bay Entertainment[1]
Release date
October 23, 2009
Running time
81 min.
CountryUnited States
Canada
LanguageEnglish

Plot

Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) is an underachieving employee at a video rental store named Schlockbuster whose personal mottos are "Don't get involved" and "Don't talk about it". His teen-aged boss Sully orders him to drop off a bag of films to the mother of the store's owner or risk not having a job by Monday morning. Despite his arguments, he agrees to the request and manages to get his friend Teddy (Kenan Thompson), his ex-girlfriend Nadine (Diora Baird) and ditsy blond massage therapist Mia (Desi Lydic) to take him there before they attend a Halloween party, even though it is on the other side of town.

En route, the group encounters a traffic jam and, to Stan's surprise, he spots Chucky, the living doll (Jeff Gulka), who makes obscene gestures that no one else notices in the van of a MILF next to them. Because of this disturbance, they miss their exit and decide to take a shortcut on which they hit a dog named Sammy Boy and inadvertently asked the dog's owner for help who then threatens to kill them for murdering his beloved dog. After fleeing the scene, Teddy picks up a hitchhiker, but after learning he was convicted of murdering nurses they violently throw him from the moving vehicle. They come across a gas station where the perverted owners tell Stan that he may be related to the legendary Abraham Van Helsing, the monster hunter. They depart and after finding Stormy Night Estates, they discover the attendants never put gas into the car. They come across a local bar and meet the ire of the townsfolk in a bad attempt of karaoke while singing Johnny Cash's song "Ring of Fire".

After they leave, they discover that all the citizens, including their waitress, Kay (Leslie Nielsen), were actually dead due to a massive fire that consumed the town ten years earlier. They encounter several monsters including Pinhead, Jason Voorhees, Chucky, Freddy Krueger, Leatherface, and a Jewish Michael Myers. They are given weapons by an extroverted altar boy who is so very close to becoming a priest who informs Stan of his destiny and that he is Van Helsing's descendant, arming them with various weapons before kicking them out of his church. The townsfolk offer a competition in which Stan and his friends compete against the monsters in Karaoke. The humans are unanimously voted as the winners, but the monsters refuse to leave town. Disobeying his policy of never getting involved, Stan turns each of the monsters' weaknesses against them, soundly defeating them and feeding them to Sammy who had been brought back to vicious life (a la Pet Sematary). The group calls a cab and they leave the town as heroes. During the trip home, Nadine discovers how much she cares for Stan and kisses him. Teddy suggest kissing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance offer instead which he gladly accepts. The movie ends with the taxi cab driving away and the sound of moaning.

Parodies

Cast

Soundtrack

Although no soundtrack album was released the film includes songs by Pluto, The Saturday Knights, Davernoise and covers of songs by Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline and Village People.[2]

The music was composed by Ryan Shore.

Reception

Stan Helsing was panned by critics. It holds a rating of 17% "rotten" on Rotten Tomatoes.[3] Robert Abele wrote in the Los Angeles Times, "writer-director Bo Zenga's way with jokes is no different than that of a 5-year-old pointing at dog poop, who grows into a teenager tittering at underwear, who becomes a middle-aged, raincoated misogynist. Like garlic, holy water and silver bullets for our mythic evildoers, "Stan Helsing" is a surefire repellent to any good time."[4] The Toronto Star panned the film, calling it “so unfunny it's scary” noting that Zenga was “the same hack who thought it would be hilarious to exploit every vulgar racial stereotype in the dismal Soul Plane.”[5] The movie had a production budget of $14 million and grossed a worldwide total of $1.5 million.[6]

References
  1. Anderson, John (October 23, 2009). "Stan Helsing: A Parody". Variety. Reed Business Information. Retrieved November 5, 2009.
  2. "Music from Stan Helsing". MusicfromFilm.com. Retrieved November 16, 2010.
  3. "Stan Helsing (2009)". Retrieved 31 July 2012.
  4. "Abele, Robert, (October 23rd, 2009) LA Times : CAPSULE MOVIE REVIEWS, ". Retrieved Jan 26, 2020.
  5. "Stan Helsing: So unfunny, it's scary | The Star". thestar.com. Retrieved Jan 26, 2020.
  6. "Stan Helsing: A Parody (2009) - Financial Information". The Numbers. Retrieved Jan 26, 2020.
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