The Baby-Roast

The Baby-Roast, also known as The Hippy Babysitter and The Cooked Baby,[1] is an urban legend in which a baby is roasted alive at home, usually during the absence of a parent. The Straight Dope, a newspaper column devoted to exposing myths, reported that it "is one of the classic urban legends",[2] however, there have been real life instances where babies have been roasted.

Legend

In some versions, the baby is accidentally cooked when miscommunication occurs. For example, "put the turkey in the oven and the baby in the bed" is wrongly heard as "put the baby in the oven and the turkey in the bed".[1] Other variants set out that the doer of the deed was drug or alcohol-induced or an insane individual.[3] In the end, the roasted baby is sometimes served as food to be consumed by the parents.[3]

The person who roasts the baby is usually a babysitter or the baby's sibling.[1]

Documented occurrences

In real life, there have been documented occurrences of babies being roasted, though by family members instead of strange babysitters. When Virginian Elizabeth Renee Otte roasted her baby in 1999,[4] the incident was cited as causing the legend to become true. In November 2006, a second case of real-life baby-roasting was reported.[5]

In May 2012, a British citizen was arrested by Thai police after being found in possession of six corpses of roasted infants, some wrapped in gold leaf, reportedly in conformity with a "black magic ritual".[6]

On November 16, 2015, a one-year old baby, J'Zyra Thompson, died after her three-year-old sibling put her in the oven and cooked her alive. Their mother, Racqual Thompson, left her four kids at home, which included a five-year-old and a two-year-old, when she went to pick up a pizza. When they returned home, Thompson found J'Zyra's body cooked in the oven. Thompson and her boyfriend of ten months, 21-year-old Cornell Malone, were charged with endangering a child. Thompson was then sentenced to 12 years in prison for abandoning a child under 15 years old.[7]

In March 2016, a 35-year-old mother in Texas showed up naked at her neighbor's door with her partially burned and naked 2-year-old daughter. When police arrived, she confessed that she had put the girl in the oven along with a cat she had recently shot dead, while making sexual advances toward an officer and singing praise to God. According to an affidavit from the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services, she seemed unconcerned with her daughter while in hospital and jail, where she was charged with injury to a child with serious bodily injury and tested positive for alcohol, marijuana and methamphetamine. The girl was put in foster care.[8]

In the 1979 blaxploitation film Avenging Disco Godfather, a PCP addict claims to have honey-roasted her baby for her family's Easter dinner, ostensibly so the baby's crying wouldn't spoil the occasion.

In the thirteenth episode of Teen Girl Squad, released on June 18, 2007, the main cast of teenage girls is babysitting the infant Timkins. When What's-Her-Face attempts to drink a can of diet soda, So-And-So loudly objects and - citing a blatantly-labelled book of urban legends from health class - claims that drinking it will make her "microwave the baby!" What's-Her-Face is quick to correct her that the diet soda is not PCP.

In August 2009, a joke advertisement showcasing a "body part roaster" "specially designed to roast infants and other human morsels" surfaced on the website of retailer Sears.com.[9]

The song 'Babysitter on Acid' by the all-female punk rock band, Lunachicks is a retelling of the Urban Legend. The teenage babysitter, under the influence of drugs, roasts the baby in the oven and tells the mother over the phone that "Wanna know how the baby is? / Don't worry, she's almost done". The song was released on their 1990 album Babysitters On Acid.

gollark: 23-bit floats?
gollark: no.
gollark: You can make a superposition of values, i.e. some values with X probability or Y probability, and some operations will transform each value and some will collapse it.
gollark: Alternatively, *each array* has different indexing and you can check this at runtime.
gollark: Compromise.

See also

References
  1. Jan Harold Brunvand (1 January 2001). Encyclopedia of Urban Legends. ABC-CLIO. pp. 26–. ISBN 978-1-57607-076-5.
  2. "Did a stoned babysitter once microwave a baby?". The Straight Dope. February 3, 1984.
  3. Jan Harold Brunvand (2001). The Truth Never Stands in the Way of a Good Story. University of Illinois Press. pp. 55–. ISBN 978-0-252-07004-4.
  4. Timberg, Craig (September 28, 1999). "Mother Charged in Baby's Death". The Washington Post. Retrieved August 14, 2013.
  5. Greene, Thomas C. (November 28, 2006). "Mom cooks baby in microwave oven - police". The Register.
  6. "Thai police arrest man after babies' bodies found roasted, wrapped in gold leaf". msn. May 12, 2013.
  7. "Texas inmate list". May 15, 2020.
  8. "Glen Rose mother was high before she put daughter in oven, officials say", by Claire Z. Cardona, Dallas News Crime Blog
  9. Goodin, Dan (August 21, 2009). "Baby-roasting BBQ pulled from Sears site". The Register.
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