List of Never the Twain episodes
Never the Twain is a British television sitcom created by Johnnie Mortimer. The show debuted 7 September 1981 on ITV. During its ten-year run, 11 series and a Christmas special were produced, with 67 episodes broadcast in total. The lead characters are Simon Peel and Oliver Smallbridge, played by Donald Sinden and Windsor Davies respectively, who are rival antique dealers that have shops next door to each other as well as neighbouring houses. Peel's son David (Robin Kermode/Christopher Morris) and Smallbridge's daughter Lynn (Julia Watson/Tacy Kneale) enter into a relationship and marry much to the reluctance of their fathers. Peel and Smallbridge engage in a continuous games of one-upmanship but often appear to be friends despite neither prepared to admit it. Recurring characters include Veronica Barton (Honor Blackman), a middle-class widow whom Peel and Smallbridge battle for the affection of; Banks (Teddy Turner), Peel's butler; Ringo (Derek Deadman), Smallbridge's idiotic shop assistant; Mrs. Sadler (Maria Charles), Smallbridge's clumsy cleaner who has a habit of breaking things; and Eleanor (Zara Nutley), Peel's auntie.[1][2][3]
Episodes
Series 1 (1981)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 | "Families at War" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 7 September 1981 |
| 2 | 2 | "Of Meissen Men" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 14 September 1981 |
| 3 | 3 | "A Night at the Opera" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 21 September 1981 |
| 4 | 4 | "A Matched Pair" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 28 September 1981 |
| 5 | 5 | "Nothing but the Truth" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 5 October 1981 |
| 6 | 6 | "Father of the Groom" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 19 October 1981 |
Series 2 (1982)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | 1 | "Who's Been Sleeping in my Bed?" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 7 September 1982 |
| 8 | 2 | "As Young as You Feel" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 14 September 1982 |
| 9 | 3 | "A Woman's Place..." | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 21 September 1982 |
| 10 | 4 | "Blood Brothers" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 28 September 1982 |
| 11 | 5 | "If You Knew Susan" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 5 October 1982 |
| 12 | 6 | "The More we are Together" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Johnnie Mortimer | 12 October 1982 |
Series 3 (1983)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 13 | 1 | "Taking Stock" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Brian Platt | 10 October 1983 |
| 14 | 2 | "Partners" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Brian Platt | 17 October 1983 |
| 15 | 3 | "A Nose for Quality" | Peter Frazer-Jones | John Kane | 24 October 1983 |
| 16 | 4 | "The End of the Line" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Vince Powell | 31 October 1983 |
| 17 | 5 | "The Welsh Connection" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Peter Tilbury | 7 November 1983 |
| 18 | 6 | "Not on the Same Wavelength" | Peter Frazer-Jones | Richard Hills | 14 November 1983 |
Series 4 (1984)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 19 | 1 | "A Home of Your Own" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 8 November 1984 |
| 20 | 2 | "The Royal Connection" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 15 November 1984 |
| 21 | 3 | "Words and Music" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 22 November 1984 |
| 22 | 4 | "No Flame Like an Old Flame" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 29 November 1984 |
| 23 | 5 | "Loves' Neighbours' Lost" | Robert Reed | Richard Hills | 6 December 1984 |
| 24 | 6 | "Come Fly with Me!" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 13 December 1984 |
Series 5 (1986)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 25 | 1 | "In Whom We Tryst" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 8 January 1986 |
| 26 | 2 | "Going, Going, Gone!" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 15 January 1986 |
| 27 | 3 | "Thicker Than Water" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 22 January 1986 |
| 28 | 4 | "Kung Who?" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 29 January 1986 |
| 29 | 5 | "Reading Between the Lines" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 5 February 1986 |
| 30 | 6 | "Definitely Not Cricket" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 12 February 1986 |
Series 6 (1987)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 31 | 1 | "Feed a Cold" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 15 January 1987 |
| 32 | 2 | "Going to Pot" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 22 January 1987 |
| 33 | 3 | "Love is a Many-Splendoured Thing" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 29 January 1987 |
| 34 | 4 | "A Night to Remember" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 5 February 1987 |
| 35 | 5 | "The Battle of Deveraux Dale" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 12 February 1987 |
| 36 | 6 | "Affair of the Heart" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 19 February 1987 |
Series 7 (1988)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 37 | 1 | "Settled out of Court" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 27 January 1988 |
| 38 | 2 | "The Wagers of Sin" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 3 February 1988 |
| 39 | 3 | "Betrothed, Bothered and Bewildered" | Robert Reed | Johnnie Mortimer | 10 February 1988 |
| 40 | 4 | "The Second Time Around" | Robert Reed | John Kane | 17 February 1988 |
| 41 | 5 | "Born to Blush Unseen" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 24 February 1988 |
| 42 | 6 | "Fasten Your Seat Belts!" | Robert Reed | Vince Powell | 2 March 1988 |
Series 8 (1988)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 43 | 1 | "Grandfathers-in-Law" | Douglas Argent | Johnnie Mortimer | 24 October 1988 |
| 44 | 2 | "Nursery Times" | Douglas Argent | Johnnie Mortimer | 31 October 1988 |
| 45 | 3 | "Whose Baby?" | Douglas Argent | Johnnie Mortimer | 7 November 1988 |
| 46 | 4 | "Never Say Die" | Douglas Argent | Vince Powell | 14 November 1988 |
| 47 | 5 | "Moving on" | Douglas Argent | Johnnie Mortimer | 21 November 1988 |
| 48 | 6 | "It's a Long Way to Friern Barnet" | Douglas Argent | Johnnie Mortimer | 28 November 1988 |
Series 9 (1989)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 49 | 1 | "Just the Ticket" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 6 September 1989 |
| 50 | 2 | "A Point of Honour" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 13 September 1989 |
| 51 | 3 | "A New Lease of Life" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 20 September 1989 |
| 52 | 4 | "Aspects of Love" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 27 September 1989 |
| 53 | 5 | "Neighbours" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 4 October 1989 |
| 54 | 6 | "Bonjour, Paris!" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 11 October 1989 |
Christmas Special (1989)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 55 | 7 | "A Winter's Tale" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 28 December 1989 |
Series 10 (1990)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 56 | 1 | "X Marks the Spot" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 5 September 1990 |
| 57 | 2 | "S.W.A.L.K." | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 12 September 1990 |
| 58 | 3 | "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 19 September 1990 |
| 59 | 4 | "Happy Holiday" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 26 September 1990 |
| 60 | 5 | "There but for the Grace of God" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 3 October 1990 |
| 61 | 6 | "A Car by any Other Name" | Nick Hurran | Vince Powell | 10 October 1990 |
Series 11 (1991)
| Overall | No. | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 62 | 1 | "Viva Espana!" | Anthony Parker | Vince Powell | 4 September 1991 |
| 63 | 2 | "The Best Laid Plans" | Anthony Parker | Vince Powell | 11 September 1991 |
| 64 | 3 | "Born Again" | Anthony Parker | Vince Powell | 18 September 1991 |
| 65 | 4 | "There Goes the Bride!" | Anthony Parker | Vince Powell | 25 September 1991 |
| 66 | 5 | "Two Fools and Their Money" | Anthony Parker | Vince Powell | 2 October 1991 |
| 67 | 6 | "The First of the Queue" | Anthony Parker | Vince Powell | 9 October 1991 |
gollark: I don't think it ends up "simpler" as much as "about the same".
gollark: I suppose you can put in the documentation "write(thing, what) - look, you just write everything this way" but people have to know about its behavior with different `thing`s anyway.
gollark: So it doesn't end up simpler.
gollark: Well, yes, but the kernel has to do branching based on the file descriptor type anyway.
gollark: I mean, which is simpler? `add(x, y) and sub(x, y)` or `perform_arithmetic_operation("add", x, y) and perform_arithmetic_operation("sub", x, y)`?
References
- Jones, Philip (5 September 1992). "Obituary: Johnnie Mortimer". The Independent. Retrieved 7 May 2019.
- "Obituary: Windsor Davies, actor and star of It Ain't Half Hot Mum". The Herald. 20 January 2019. Retrieved 7 May 2019.
- "In pictures: Donald Sinden". BBC Online. 12 September 2014. Retrieved 7 May 2019.
External links
- List of Never the Twain episodes at epguides.com
- Never the Twain – list of episodes on IMDb
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