Billy Joe Cuthbert

Billy Joe Cuthbert (born in Terre Haute, Indiana), nicknamed "Mongoose", is a fictional American basketball player, played by John Mead, who promotes Sony's NBA The Life video game. Cuthbert's character first made his appearance known in 2005 through a website called "Dontbethenext.com," in which he chronicled his "history" in the NBA. In advertisements, he is seen as a goofy, overly-intense, white player in approximately his thirties, who holds a grudge against Sony for choosing to put Kobe Bryant on the cover of NBA '07: Featuring the Life Vol. 2 instead of him. He has made numerous challenges to Bryant to play a game of one-on-one to settle the issue. Being an irrelevant former player, his throwing-down of the gauntlet has brought little reaction from Bryant, nor from many other persons. "Mamba versus Mongoose!" is his intimidating catch phrase. He is thought to resemble Kurt Rambis because of his goggles and mullet.

Background

Born in the small city of Terre Haute, Indiana, Cuthbert was not considered among the most gifted of basketball players. After high school, he went to the fictional Indiana Polytechnic Junior College, playing the shooting guard position. He was drafted in the second round of the 1989 NBA Draft by the Utah Jazz (In reality, the Jazz selected Junie Lewis in the second round of the 1989 NBA Draft). Cuthbert hustled his way into the starting line-up of the Jazz for a brief time, playing 29 games his first season, starting in 7 of them. Always giving 117% (though his recent training diary mentions he has been giving "between 110 and 114%"), Cuthbert was mostly known for diving for loose balls, taking charges and fouling out. He is known for his myriad wristbands, knee brace, and other protective gear, which are used in order to wick away sweat and cushion the blows brought on by his style of play. His flowing mullet provides another identification trait. Due to his physical play, he was plagued by injuries, and his lackluster NBA career ended prematurely in his second season after playing in only 3 games. Currently, Cuthbert is seeking to play professionally in Europe or Latin America.

gollark: If you mean SSHD as the HDDs with a bit of extra flash storage, I'd say probably not.
gollark: Also horrible thermal issues.
gollark: As far as I know GPU encoders aren't very good except for transcoding very *fast*.
gollark: I doubt that's true, they probably use different encoder settings or something for higher quality and more size.
gollark: Hence "very slight", so it probably doesn't matter unless you're trying to make the smallest possible video file.
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