Autobiography of a Face
Autobiography of a Face is a memoir by Lucy Grealy in which she narrates her life before and after being diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma. The memoir describes her life from the age of nine to adulthood. In this memoir, she narrates the consequences of the disease in her emotional life as well as the physical implications that it had on her face, which resulted in a lifetime of self-consciousness. When interviewed about the novel in 1994 by Charley Rose, the author explained that the books principal theme was identity.
| Author | Lucy Grealy |
|---|---|
| Country | United States |
| Language | English |
| Genre | Autobiography/ Memoir |
| Published | 1994 |
| Publisher | Harper Collins |
| ISBN | 978-0-544-83739-3 |
The novel was first published in 1994, and a renamed British edition was released in 1995 under the name In the Minds Eyes.[1]
Plot summary
The prologue introduces the reader to Lucy's struggle with self-image. She describes her work at the stable Diamond D, which was her first job after finishing chemotherapy. Through this first narration, Lucy introduces her family's situation both emotionally and financially. Moreover, she begins talking about the stares that she received from children which she did not know if they were better than the hidden looks from adults.
Lucy brings the reader back with flashbacks of fourth grade. Being a tomboyish girl, she would play with boys and participate in dares. However, one day during physical education she bumps into Joni Friedman's head. Later at night, while doing her homework she feels a toothache and thinks that this would be her way to get out of going to school the next day. While her mother worries, her father tells her that it's just a toothache. However, the next day when she visits the dentist, she receives her first diagnosed as having fractured her jaw. Nevertheless, after performing an X-ray, she is told that she had a dental cyst and that she needed emergency surgery. She thoroughly describes her operation and her experience with anesthesia and says that back to school she felt like a warrior for experiencing something the other kids hadn't.
Six months after her operation, “a bony knob” had appeared at the tip of her jaw. Her mother asked the doctor repeatedly about it, but he dismissed her by saying that it was just a "bony growth". Yet as the situation worsened, she is back at the hospital and undergoes multiple tests, including a bone marrow examination. She is diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma, however, no one describes it to her as cancer until further in the disease which makes her not assimilate the diagnosis as she should. She meets Derek at the hospital and he becomes his partner in mischievous adventures around the hospital. Lucy is scheduled for an operation involving the removal of the right side of her jaw, but she was not aware of the implications that this would have on her life. After the operation, she could sense her families discomfort when visiting because of the way she looked.
Lucy starts chemotherapy and experiences pain more than ever. The treatment would make her nauseous and cause vomiting, and as she recovered it was once again time for the treatment. She dreaded Fridays, which were the day for the treatment so much that she tried to get her white blood cell count up so that the treatment could not be administered. Around this time, she starts wondering about the idea of God and she starts realizing how her disease was not only affecting her but also the rest of her family. As a result of the chemotherapy, her hair starts falling off, which brings about another issue for self-esteem.
When Lucy returns to school after missing much of fifth grade, boys start bullying her and making fun of her appearance. Later in high school, things get worst and she asks a counselor for help and the only thing he offers is to allow her to eat lunch at his office. During this time, she preferred the pain of chemotherapy than the pain of being bullied.
As Lucy's hair grows back, so does her confidence. She starts building new friendships, however, she still carries the weight of feeling that no one would ever love her in a romantic way. At the age of 16, she has her first reconstructive surgery and yet not happy with the results she hopes that the next surgery will truly bring her happiness. However, this process repeats cycles never truly being happy about her looks. In high school, even though no one said anything about her looks, she became her own judge and reminder of what she was lacking. However, what helped her go through all these negative emotions she created for herself was horse riding and reading.
She starts to attend Sarah Lawrence College, and feels acceptance for the first time because of how different everyone was. She makes true friends for the first time during college.
As she encounters adulthood, being fulfilled with her career and having experienced some romantic relationships, Lucy starts to accept her image as it is and stops waiting for the physical beauty that will make her happy. She claims to have finally become "acquainted" with her face and feels whole after a long journey of not feeling good about herself.
Characters
- Lucy: She is a girl that suffers from a very uncommon form of Ewing's sarcoma. This disease greatly affects Lucy for the rest of her life.
- Lucy's mother
Reception
Autobiography of a Face has received reviews from Kirkus Reviews, Publishers Weekly, and Seventeen Magazine. The New York Times reviewed the book, stating that while some "will be disappointed that the author's new face is never described", the reviewer felt that this was irrelevant as "the text created a face for this reader, sculptured it down to the deeper-than-bone depths of character, a face that is taut, bright-eyed, fierce with intelligence and feeling -- complete."[2][3][4] The Baltimore Sun also praised the work, stating that the writing was "both compelling and insightful".[5]
References
- Grealy, Lucy (1994). In the Mind's Eye. Century. ISBN 9780712659611.
- Mojtabai, A. G. (1994-09-25). "'I Was Too Ugly to Go to School'". The New York Times. ISSN 0362-4331. Retrieved 2019-03-21.
- "Autobiography of a Face". www.publishersweekly.com. Retrieved 2019-03-21.
- "AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FACE". Kirkus Reviews. 1994.
- Steinbach, Alice. "Lucy Grealy's disfigurement helped her discover an inner strength 'AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FACE'". baltimoresun.com. Retrieved 2019-03-21.