William Schnoebelen

William Schnoebelen (1949–) is a fundamentalist Christian who claims to have been (amongst other things) a Satanist, a Freemason, a member of the Illuminati, and a vampire. Despite his ludicrous claims, he has a few admirers, which at one time included Jack Chick (As of 2018, his books have been expunged from the publisher's website).[1][2] He is so crazy, not even Henry Makow's website can stand him[3].

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His story

Born to a Catholic family, Schnoebelen claims to have become a Wiccan after writing to Alex Sanders.[4] According to Schnoebelen's version of events, a spirit guide encouraged him to read Anton LaVey's Satanic Bible; he joined the Church of Satan, but decided that it wasn't hardcore enough and so joined an altogether darker Satanic cult: the Freemasons.[5]

After rising through the ranks of Masonry (he claims to have been a "90th degree" Freemason[6][note 1]), Schnoebelen claims that he made a deal with Satan himself. After signing a deal in blood, Schnoebelen was given seven years' worth of funky superpowers on the condition that, at the end of the period, he would be killed and sent to party on forever in Hell. He claims to have considered this a win-win situation. His spirit guides then helped him to join the Illuminati, where he was able to speak with the spirits of people such as Jesus, Adolf Hitler, and Aleister Crowley. At around this time he also had sex with a fallen angel.[5]

Schnoebelen later became a Catholic priest — the Catholic priesthood, of course, being riddled with Satanists.[7] Eventually, his Satanic pals gave him the choice between two paths: he could become a vampire, or he could become a werewolf. Schnoebelen sided with Team Edward and became a vampire. In his new guise, he could live on nothing but blood and communion hosts, and was harmed by garlic and the Sun.[5]

All these powers vanished, however, when an anonymous Christian began praying for him.[note 2] Schnoebelen then became a Mormon — another secretly Satanic group, according to him — and during this time, he claims to have read the Bible for the first time in his life. This led him to renounce his evil ways and he became a Christian on June 22, 1984.[5]

If you follow the timeline in his own books, he would have to have been a Roman Catholic, a Freemason, a Wiccan, and a Satanist, all at the same time, from 1976 to 1980.[8]

His story circulates all around YouTube to this day.[9]

Today

Today, Schnoebelen heads With One Accord Ministries[10] he runs his own YouTube channel [11], and has apparently begun wading into the waters of Flat Eartherism and Geocentrism.[12]

He has peddled his bizarre claims in books such as Masonry: Beyond the Light,[13] Lucifer Dethroned,[14] Wicca: Satan's Little White Lie,[15] and Blood on the Doorposts: An Advanced Course in Spiritual Warfare.[16] Even fellow Conspiracy Theorists are skeptical of his claims.[17]

Notes
  1. Scottish Rite Freemasonry only has 33 degrees.
  2. Schnoebelen claims it was a woman who worked at a bank who noticed he was writing checks to the Church of Satan.
gollark: Anyway, it's vulnerable to extremely obvious XSS attacks, how can this be used?
gollark: > `<meta name="description" content="A fully featured admin theme which can be used to build CRM, CMS, etc.">`
gollark: Okay, any ideas?
gollark: ... it's vulnerable to XSS attacks. *Interesting*.
gollark: Sad!

References
  1. About William Schnoebelen Chick (archived from January 8, 2018).
  2. About William Schnoebelen: We couldn't find that page. Chick (archived from November 28, 2018).
  3. https://www.henrymakow.com/2017/01/the-view-from-helsinki.html
  4. Article on "Witchvox" on Bill Schnoebelen (via Internet Archive). According to the article's author, Bill had briefly been involved with a number of Neo-Pagan groups, thereby giving him some reference to draw from in his writings, but was reportedly kicked out of the Church of All Worlds by co- founder Morning Glory G'Zell for "power tripping".
  5. http://swallowingthecamel.blogspot.co.uk/2011/06/prodigal-witch-part-vii-bill.html
  6. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckDxBhMt2GA
  7. According to this report, Schnoebelin was ordained in an "Old Catholic" sect led by Edward Stehlik, self-described as the "Archbishop and Metropolitan of North America, American National Catholic Church".
  8. Relfe.com: William Schnoebelen (via Internet Archive)
  9. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9DR2137Wcg
  10. With One Accord Ministries
  11. Bill Schnoebelen's YouTube channel
  12. This YouTube interview of Schnoebelen with flat earther Zen Garcia is good coverage of Bill's story. His take on the concept begins around 1:01:07
  13. http://www.chick.com/catalog/books/0193.asp
  14. http://www.chick.com/catalog/books/0175.asp
  15. http://www.chick.com/catalog/books/0179.asp
  16. http://www.chick.com/catalog/books/0169.asp
  17. http://markdice.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=115
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