Charlie Kirk

Charlie "Chuckles" Kirk (1993–)[2] is an American right-wing grifter, trustfund baby, professional meme maker, and diaper enthusiast. He is the founder and spiritual leader of Toilet Paper USA Talking Points USA Turning Point USA (TPUSA), which organizes bizarre conservative stunts on college campuses and (according to an exposé at the conservative leaning Washington Examiner) has a long history of teen underage drinking and rape at its student conventions.[3] Kirk is also known for cameoing as the spokesperson for the fictional restaurant Li'l Bits in an episode of Rick and Morty.[4]

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“”I live like a capitalist every single day, Cenk! I live as a capitalist, okay? I live what I believe!
—Charlie Kirk, losing his temper in a debate with The Young Turks' Cenk Uygur, attempting to physically attack the latter.[1]

TPUSA claim that they're a "youth organization that promotes the principles of fiscal responsibility, free markets, and limited government," when in reality, they're just a right-wing echo chamber for dying boomers and edgy white boys that takes any chance they can get to insult socialists and anyone left of Henry Kissinger. Most of their Twitter feed consists of calling out socialists for being "hypocrites"[5] (because apparently using an iPhone and buying things to survive instead of living in a cavemen commune invalidates all your left-leaning arguments), complaining about leftist propaganda in the curriculum,[6] making antisemitic and/or rape jokes,[7] preying on naive first year college students instead of debating professionals, pundits and experts, sharing terrible memes, et cetera.

Kirk really thinks that making "vagina hands" à la Donald Trump[8] makes him look badass.[9][10]

Biography

Charlie Kirk was born into a wealthy Illinois family. His father, Robert W. Kirk, was the project architect manager for Trump Tower in New York. Charlie became politically active after Barack Obama became President. In 2010, he joined the Tea Party and volunteered for the US Senate campaign of Illinois Republican Mark Kirk (no relation). In 2012, he wrote his first piece for Breitbart complaining about "liberal bias" in high school economics textbooks.[11] Despite being promoted as "Trump's man on campus",[12] Kirk actually dropped out of community college; he was allegedly rejected from Vienna's Academy of Fine Arts West Point, and blamed it (without any evidence)[13] on affirmative action.[14] Because of course.

On religion
“”[A]s the world adds more atheists the moral fiber of our civilization will continue to decay. And the more atheists there are in the world, the bigger government will grow[.] Atheism must be defeated[.]
—Charlie Kirk[15]

Kirk, who is an evangelical Christian, believes that atheism leads to socialism, as men attempt to fashion themselves into Gods:

For some individuals it's more real than God, which I think is preposterous, but, as a society gets more secular, unfortunately with it goes its moral conduct and behavior. Now, I am a fierce proponent of the separation between church and state, I think it's actually been positive for Christianity in the United States, I think that the less government has endorsed state-run religion, the more the church has been able to succeed, as long as our religious liberties are intact, preserved, and protected. The point being, is that if you try and have a theocracy like some of the European countries did in the 50's and 60's or the 20's and 30's, people inherently try and rebel against it, so for example, Spain had that huge argument, "Should we become a pseudo Roman Catholic state?" and that kind of started a little bit of a conflict, a little bit. Um, the point being is that the protection of the — uh, individual liberties is super important, but looking holistically, you — there, there's a coincidence — there's no coincidence, there's no argument that one of the reasons behind the rampant, um, escalation of I would say immoral behavior in a lot of these countries, in North Korea or China and the former Soviet Union, is that when you remove God and you say there is no God, government replaces that and the reason is, motivational leaders want to create themselves to be a God-king. And that's, that's what Mao tried to do, Mao was revered as, as a God in China, and Stalin was revered as a God, and there's nothing more evil than that, a human being trying to become a deity, in and of itself. So I am a harsh critic against the American atheist movement for a lot of different reasons. Um, mostly because I say, how could you possibly be so certain? Like, like if you're agnostic, I get it. Like, I understand you're searching for answers, you're always open minded. But an atheist, like, they're so committed to knowing that there's no God? You believe in nothing. And so when you have nothing there's all of these questions that automatically come: Where does your moral conduct come from? What is our point of origination? Are we good or bad by nature? So as an Evangelical Christian I'm very, very worried that as [a] society we get more — we get farther and farther away from our, our Judeo-Christian beliefs that really created Western civilization, there's a reason why the USSR, the alcoholism, the infidelity, and the rampant immoral behavior was so widespread, because when you remove God, I would also argue that, uh, with it you remove the core set of morals that helped create the West.[15]

In short, Kirk blames much moral failure in communist countries on atheism. Of course, he excludes the highly-irreligious countries like Japan, Sweden, and the UK that do not appear to have collapsed amidst their own immorality. He also seems to have missed that former communist countries which have embraced religion (particularly Russia) haven't become more moral as a result. Elsewhere, Kirk has separated "secular" from "Western democracies":

There are four competing global philosophies that will determine the 21st century:

1) Western centered, pro-capitalist constitutional democracies

2) Islamic Theocratic Fascism

3) Chinese Communist Totalitarianism

4) European-style secular socialism

The West must win[16]

This is deeply ironic, given the history of increasing secularism within the West for almost half a millennium, usually by pro-democracy advocates – a history that Kirk himself acknowledges:

The Constitution of the United States of America is the single most important secular document ever written.[17]

Given his love for tired talking points, it is unsurprising that Kirk also really likes the "not enough faith" line of thought, probably because it sounds clever:

I don't have enough faith to be an atheist[15]

I don't have enough faith to be an Atheist [sic][18]

Of all the religions, the hardest one for me to believe that people believe is atheism[19]

The amount of blind faith it takes to be an Atheist [sic] never ceases to amaze me.[20]

Judging by his speech above, Kirk appears not to understand how atheists can "have faith" in a non-God origin of the universe, a non-God creation of life, a non-God origin of human life, or a non-God origin of morality. Fortunately for the rest of us, science and philosophy have moved past the 1500s.

Like most Christian conservatives, Kirk understands how essential it is for us as a society to understand and accept science. Except when it comes to climate change and religion.[21]

Editorial note: Don't capitalize atheism. You also don't capitalize theism. These aren't proper nouns, Charlie.

Conservative deceit

Charlie Kirk made fallacious claims about the family of Candace Owens. Kirk claimed that "both" of Owens' parents were alcoholics and also claimed that "her sisters" were on welfare.[22] Owens later debunked his claims about her family on Twitter.[23] However, instead of calling out Charlie Kirk for his racially charged lies, Owens decided to denounce the "sadistic" journalism that pointed out his blatant dishonesty (so basically she attacked journalists for doing their jobs).[24]

In addition, Kirk claimed that Roseanne BarrFile:Wikipedia's W.svg isn't racist[25] for tweeting about Obama aide Valerie Jarrett: "muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=vj". Definitely no racism there.

Kirk praised Kanye West for becoming an incoherent Trump fanboy politically active, but later he criticized Taylor Swift for endorsing Tennessee Democrats Phil Bredesen and Jim Cooper, and told her to stay away from politics.[26]

Also, Kirk praised Trump for signing a pardon for someone sentenced for doing drugs, but he attacked Barack Obama for pardoning 330 federal inmates convicted of drug charges.[27]

In a further display of hypocrisy, he criticized Obama for visiting Cuba and not pointing out their corruption, but praised Trump for making peace with North Korea (without pointing out their corruption.)[28]

On January 21st, 2019, former Turning Point USA Director of High School Outreach Kyle KashuvFile:Wikipedia's W.svg announced that Charlie had thrown out his back and a had a potential blood clot, and that the hospital made Charlie lay on a bench outside the hospital as they had run out of beds.[29] Ironically, despite getting screwed over by the American healthcare system, Charlie Kirk firmly believes the United States has the best healthcare system in the world[30] and that healthcare isn't a right.[31] Later, Charlie stated that he had visited a chiropractor who he claimed had made "my spine go back into line" by doing "some very targeted treatment right behind my ear with his hands".[32]

Hilariously, YAF blacklisted Charlie Kirk & Turning Point USA in a conservative group feud.[33]

Oh, and he also can't spell "socialism" correctly.[34][35] That's what happens when you don't graduate from college![36]

Charlie Kirk has basically lost all credibility at this point.[37]

Greatest hits
  • In June of 2018, Kirk expressed his support for Trump's criminal justice reform that released some non-violent drug offenders. A mere four days earlier, he was complaining about how irresponsible it was for Obama to have done basically the same thing, illustrating just how high his level of partisanship is. [38]
  • Charlie complaining about how intolerant "the left" really is for companies not wanting to advertise on Fox while threatening to boycott the NFL if players didn't stand for the anthem. [39]
  • Charlie pretending to care about due process as it pertains to Brett Kavanaugh despite the fact that he claimed Hillary Clinton should have been sent to prison even if the FBI and Justice Department didn't think there was enough evidence.[40][41]
  • Charlie in 2014 bitching about how Obama was an open borders Marxist who was perfectly content with letting millions of illegals flood over the border. Then, Charlie in 2018 defending child separation policy by saying that Obama did the exact same thing as Trump. So, apparently Obama was letting a lot of illegals in while kicking them all out.[42][43][44]
  • Charlie shredding Obama for the Dow-Jones Industrial Average dropping 500 points while remaining awkwardly silent when the same thing happened recently. [45]
  • Charlie complaining that taxation is theft while complaining that Amazon didn't pay any. [46]
  • Charlie trying to criticize Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for losing 25,000 jobs because of Amazon pulling out of NYC while simultaneously claiming that Amazon pulling out was the right decision. [47][48]
  • Charlie claims that open borders are a sign of a weak and inhumane country while denouncing the Berlin Wall. [49]
  • Charlie can't decide if taxes are a good thing. [50][51]
  • Charlie can't decide if Europe is a socialist wasteland. [52]
  • Charlie claims that undocumented immigrants don't have rights because they aren't citizens. About a month earlier, while delivering a speech, he said that rights don't come from governments. [53]
  • Charlie can't decide if more laws is a good thing. [54]
  • Charlie can't decide if he accepts basic biology. [55]
  • Charlie can't decide if tragedies should be politicized. [56][57]
  • Charlie can't decide if the Democratic party is the party of the KKK or the party of MS-13. [58][59]
  • Charlie thinks homes and countries are the same things. [60]
  • Charlie thinks that Trump deserves credit for Botswana legalizing same-sex marriage. [61]
  • Charlie isn't sure if world leaders were ever attacked before Trump's presidency. [62]
  • Charlie thinks California, the world's fifth largest economy, is a third world nation. [63]
  • Charlie isn't sure about the lowest ever black unemployment rate. [64]
  • Charlie can't decide if victimhood is a cancer. [65]
  • Charlie using Mother's Day as an opportunity to own the libs. [66]
  • Charlie doing a complete 180 in regards to Trump being the most moral president ever. [67]
  • Charlie confused about majority rule [68]

Stopped clock

Kirk (most likely accidentally) stated that it was an injustice for Mack Beggs (a FTM trans boy) to be prevented from competing in the boys' wrestling league because of his birth sex (he was assigned female at birth but underwent gender confirmation surgery to become a man).[69] Charlie Kirk has a definite stopped clock moment in his opposition to the death penalty. He says it is more expensive than life in prison and says innocent people are executed. [70][71]

Charlie and the Bullshit Factory: Turning Point USA

Turning Point USA,[72] Charlie's pet project, is an astroturf nonprofit funded by the Koch brothers in order to make boring old conservatism look cool and appealing to millennials by sharing/posting/reposting cringeworthy memes and image macros. These images consist mostly of inspirational quotes by great conservative thinkers, such as Ronald Reagan, Ben Shapiro, Tomato Larynx, and, obviously, Chairman Kirk himself, but also by filthy commies such as George Orwell and Nelson Mandela (taken wildly out of context, of course). Their other favorite template is Top Panel: Liberal Quote (i.e. "Capitalism is bad." —Bernie Sanders), Bottom Panel: TPUSA's Response ("Then why don't you move to North Korea? Also, socialism has killed 100 billion iPhones"), accompanied by a picture of Charlie Kirk or a smug/confused-looking stock photo model wearing lensless glasses (because that's what dem youngsters wear these days). Along with hashtags such as #BigGovSucks, #SocialismSucks, #iHeartCapitalism, and #iHeartFossilFuels.

Turning Point's attempted launch in the UK (Turning Point UK) has not gotten off to a smooth start, as an immediate influx of parody accounts attributing ludicrous ancap ideas to the organization popped up almost instantly and were often indistinguishable from the real thing. [73]

Bill Montgomery, TPUSA's cofounder and Kirk's mentor, died in July 2020 of COVID-19 after months of downplaying it.[74]

Of diapers and watchlists
“”As of right now, I am in disbelief at how I went from being so upbeat, enthusiastic, and passionate about this organisation to being disgusted, frustrated, and embarrassed to have invested my entire senior year into an organisation founded by a college dropout who hires some of the most incompetent, lazy, and downright dishonest people I have ever encountered.
—Kaitlin Bennett, former president and campus coordinator for Turning Point USA at Kent State University, reacting to the diaper shitshow.[75]

Charlie Kirk loves freedom of speech so much, he came up with the idea of a so-called "free speech ball," an oversized beach ball for grade school college students to write whatever the hell they want to. With hilarious results.[76]

Another totally mature TPUSA stunt was their infamous 2017 "diaper protest," in which they dressed and acted as toddlers in order to protest against safe spaces,[77] at Kent State of all places. Not only did they lose funding and members after the incident,[78] but they also have been relentlessly mocked ever since.[79] Kirk himself, in a desperate attempt of damage control, disavowed the now defunct Kent State chapter of TPUSA.[80]

Of course, Charlie Kirk also believes that free speech should not apply to the left, so he started a very McCarthyist project called Professor Watchlist, whose stated mission is "to expose and document college professors who discriminate against conservative students and advance leftist propaganda in the classroom."[81] In reality, Professor Watchlist has resulted in over 100 cases of harassment (including death threats) against "leftist" professors.[82]

Feud with Nick Fuentes

On October 2019, Kirk and Donald Trump, Jr. went to UCLA to promote Junior's latest piece of shit book titled — wait for it: Triggered: How the Left Thrives on Hate and Wants to Silence Us. Expecting to epicly own some easily triggered, blue-haired, antifa SJW communist snowflakes who hate freedom of speech, Don Jr. and Kirk were hilariously heckled off the stage... by a group of Trump supporters.[83] More specifically, by fans of the far-right YouTuber Nick Fuentes (known as "groypers", a reference to a grotesque version of Pepe the Frog). Fuentes, a white nationalist and Holocaust denier, has claimed that TPUSA, Dan Crenshaw, Ben Shapiro and other right-wing individuals and organizations are fake conservatives because they aren't fascist enough for his taste (maybe not, but damn, they're trying).

Troll farm USA

Turning Point Action, an affiliate of TPUSA, has been directing teenagers (including minors) to spread disinformation about COVID and mail-in ballots on Twitter and Facebook in an attempt to disrupt the 2020 election in favor of Trump. The campaign has been likened to a 'troll farm'.[84]

Bibliography

Our boy Charlie has also published some ridiculously out-of-touch[85][86] love letters to Trump "books":

  • Time for a Turning Point: Setting a Course Toward Free Markets and Limited Government for Future Generations (2016)
  • Campus Battlefield: How Conservatives Can WIN the Battle on Campus and Why It Matters – Foreword by Donald Trump, Jr. (2018)
  • The MAGA Doctrine: The Only Ideas That Will Ruin Win the Future (2020)
gollark: I'm sure you'd like to think so.
gollark: But what if apioformicative processes supersede this?
gollark: According to GTech™ Badology, 92% of the bad is actually caused by apioforms being insufficiently bewared.
gollark: Well, people use "neoliberal" to complain about 27% of bad things.
gollark: In Australia.

See also

References
  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8Dho35c0Vs
  2. The 21-Year-Old Becoming a Major Player in Conservative Politics: Charlie Kirk's backers swear he's the future of conservative politics—and he's only just old enough to drink. by Rebecca Nelson (Mar 25, 2015) The Atlantic.
  3. https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/turning-point-usa-struggles-with-allegations-of-student-sexual-assault-harassment
  4. Lil' Bits | Rick and Morty | Adult Swim. Retrieved on September 13, 2020.
  5. Turning Point USA at Liberty University
  6. Turning Point USA founder: 'Radical leftists' control UGA campus, Red and Black (April 5, 2018)
  7. https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2017/11/turning-point-usa-tweets-that-critic-namd-weinstein-has-his-hand-in-other-peoples-pockets.html
  8. Why Are Trump’s Hands Always Making the Symbol for ‘Vagina’?
  9. https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/998615044945395712
  10. Campus Battlefield cover
  11. http://www.breitbart.com/politics/2012/04/26/liberal-bias-starts-in-high-school-economics/
  12. Trump's Man on Campus, Politico
  13. Charlie Kirk, Turning Point USA and the rise of fascist student group
  14. http://www.wonkette.com/college-student-has-shitfit-about-shithole-group-after-shitty-diaper-protest-goes-poof-2569189525.amp.html
  15. Twitter[a w]
  16. Twitter[a w]
  17. Twitter[a w]
  18. Twitter[a w]
  19. Twitter[a w]
  20. Twitter[a w]
  21. Blather[a w]
  22. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Deou2KwWsAAFIXx.jpg
  23. https://twitter.com/RealCandaceO/status/1002665436184489984
  24. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Deou2K4XcAURmUs.jpg
  25. https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/1001571801825136642
  26. http://www.thedailybeast.com/fox-guests-want-taylor-swift-to-shut-up-but-love-kanyes-maga-embrace
  27. https://www.reddit.com/r/ToiletPaperUSA/comments/8pcspk/dang_boi_stole_this_from_twitter/
  28. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IomC-a_Sxy4
  29. Charlie throws out his back 21 Jan 2019.
  30. Twitter post 7 Feb 2017.
  31. Twitter post 7 Feb 2017.
  32. Instagram post January 24th, 2019.
  33. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wk3Jgj3IfRw
  34. https://www.reddit.com/r/ToiletPaperUSA/comments/8o9620/i_guess_this_is_what_you_get_when_you_dont_go_to/
  35. https://www.reddit.com/r/ToiletPaperUSA/comments/8rq64w/the_picture_on_the_right_just_goes_to_show_how/
  36. https://twitter.com/realcandaceo/status/1007043199691624448
  37. https://mobile.twitter.com/JordanUhl/status/1034279815472455682
  38. https://blather.io/fallacies/1
  39. https://blather.io/fallacies/27
  40. https://blather.io/fallacies/62
  41. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-is-confused-about-due-process-780
  42. https://blather.io/fallacies/102
  43. https://blather.io/fallacies/227
  44. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-cant-decide-if-obama-protected-the-border-605
  45. https://blather.io/fallacies/239
  46. https://blather.io/fallacies/339
  47. https://blather.io/fallacies/345
  48. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-is-the-epitome-of-partisan-politics-and-cheap-shots-697
  49. https://blather.io/fallacies/356
  50. https://blather.io/fallacies/357
  51. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-cant-decide-if-taxes-are-theft-again-608
  52. https://blather.io/fallacies/418
  53. https://blather.io/fallacies/423
  54. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-cant-decide-if-he-likes-laws-717
  55. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-cant-decide-if-he-accepts-basic-biology-715
  56. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-cant-decide-if-tragedies-should-be-politicized-714
  57. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-cant-decide-if-mass-shootings-should-be-politicized-706
  58. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-cant-decide-if-the-democrats-are-the-party-of-the-kkk-679
  59. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-cant-decide-if-the-democrats-are-the-party-of-the-kkk-619
  60. https://blather.io/fallacies/charle-kirk-thinks-homes-and-countries-are-the-same-thing-581
  61. https://blather.io/fallacies/charle-kirk-thinks-trump-is-responsible-for-botswana-legalizing-gay-marriage-579
  62. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-entering-the-realm-of-criminal-stupidity-574
  63. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-thinks-california-is-a-third-world-country-538
  64. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-lying-about-lowest-ever-black-unemployment-516
  65. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-cant-decide-if-victimhood-is-a-cancer-or-not-501
  66. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-exploiting-mothers-day-to-spread-his-anti-immigrant-agenda-529
  67. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirks-sycophancy-has-caused-him-to-do-a-complete-180-in-regards-to-trump-515
  68. https://blather.io/fallacies/charlie-kirk-confused-about-the-electoral-college-783
  69. Twitter post 26 Feb 2018.
  70. https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/855463863755714560
  71. https://conservativesconcerned.org/what-conservatives-are-saying/
  72. Turning Point USA's website
  74. Lippman, D.; Nguyen, T. (July 29, 2020). "Turning Point USA co-founder dies of coronavirus-related complications". Politico.
  75. Emily Shugerman, Turning Point USA: How one student in a diaper caused an eruption in the conservative youth organization. The Independent, 26 February 2018.
  76. Free Speech Ball Destroyed By A Communist Student At UC San Diego
  77. Conservative group dons diapers to protest safe spaces at Kent State The Daily Dot. 2017-10-19.
  78. How a "diaper protest" imploded a conservative student group Salon. March 25, 2018.
  79. Tweets About Diapers Broke the Entire Conservative Youth Movement Gizmodo. (February 26, 2018)
  80. Why Making Fun of Charlie Kirk Rules Medium. Feb 17, 2018.
  81. About Us — Professor Watchlist
  82. http://www.cnn.com/cnn/2017/12/21/us/university-professors-free-speech-online-hate-threats/index.html
  83. http://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2019/11/11/donald-trump-jr-book-talk-ucla-derailed-by-far-right-protesters/
  84. Pro-Trump youth group enlists teens in secretive campaign likened to a ‘troll farm,’ prompting rebuke by Facebook and Twitter by Isaac Stanley-Becker (September 15, 2020 at 3:05 p.m. PDT) The Washington Post.
  85. Charlie Kirk's Campus Battlefield Is a Hot Mess
  86. Charlie Kirk’s Campus Battlefield—A Review
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