Ronald Weinland

Ronald Weinland is a Christian religious crackpot who believes he is appointed by God to reveal to mankind the timetable of the end of the world, as described in Revelation.

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He has written a book called 2008: God's Final Witness, which despite none of the terribly bad things predicted in it actually coming to pass in 2008, he continues to hawk it, calling 2008 the beginning of the end.

In June 2012, Weinland was convicted of five counts of tax evasion. In February 2013, he began a three-year prison term; he'd better hope Jesus is forgiving towards fraudsters, false prophets and tax-dodgers.

Predictions

Weinland originally prophesied that Christ would return on September 29, 2011, but changed that during June of 2008 to May 27, 2012. Weinland believes World War III will very soon be upon us, during which the United States and most of the rest of the world will be laid waste, except for ten European countries who will unite under the rule of the Anti-Christ (who will probably be the Pope), and make life generally unpleasant for the final 3 and a half years (which, in his original prophecy, began on December 14, 2008). So, if you want to survive the coming nuclear war, move to Rome and start sucking up to the nearest cardinal.

Missing the deadline

After May 27, 2012, passed without an apocalypse, Weinland engaged in some frantic backpedalling, saying that Jesus would actually return on Pentecost of 2013 (which was in May 9th of that year) and commanding his remaining followers to stand strong and keep giving him money.[1] Of course, Pentecost 2013 also passed without event, leading Weinland to shamelessly reissue his prophecy, vaguely saying that Jesus would return on "a future Pentecost".[2]

gollark: It can currently update itself.
gollark: The PotatOS updater thing is going well, although I should probably separate the update and system verification bits eventually.
gollark: I can totally read, but only things I can read.
gollark: As long as they can be multiple lines.
gollark: I think it's from the spec for some version of Scheme, and says that string constants can be in any format whatsoever, as defined by the interpreter.

See also

References
  1. Ronald Weinland's blog, May 30, 2012.
  2. Timing and Our Commission. Ronald Weinland's blog. May 13, 2013.
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