Communist Party of the Russian Federation

The Communist Party of the Russian Federation is a reactionary far-left neo-Stalinist political party. It is currently the second-largest party in Russia, once again proving the existence of the crazification factor.

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Overview

The party has basically created a personality cult around both Joseph Stalin and their current leader, Gennady Zyuganov. The party is extremely apologetic towards whatever atrocities Stalin or Lenin had committed and decide to treat them as necessary evils or ignore/deny that such things ever happened in the first place.[1]

Being a neo-Stalinist party, they support privately owned small businesses, but still want to nationalize most agriculture and large industries. For some nationalistic reason, the party is pro-religious, contrary to its strongly atheistic predecessorFile:Wikipedia's W.svg.

Social issues

The party is extremely socially conservative, anti-LGBT, anti-abortion, anti-liberal, nationalistic, and always championing "traditional values",[citation needed] not unlike political ideologies it vehemently disagrees with. Naturally, the Party leader, Zyuganov, believes that most modern art and academia has been ruined by the greed encouraged by the capitalist pig-dogs. They also support the reinstitution of the death penalty and are proudly "tough on crime".[2]

Furthermore, many party leaders are hostile to ideas like global warming and Darwinian evolution, and have a weakness for conspiracy theories. A favorite is that "national culture and morals" are being purposely destroyed in Russia.[3] For extra wackiness, Zyuganov has also expressed anti-Semitic views.[4]

gollark: > The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed from available data. Our authority is Isaiah 30:26, “Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days.” Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from the Sun, and in addition seven times seven (49) times as much as the Earth does from the Sun, or fifty times in all. The light we receive from the Moon is one ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that. With these data we can compute the temperature of Heaven. The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E)^4 = 50, where E is the absolute temperature of the earth (-300K), gives H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed, but it must be less than 444.6C, the temperature at which brimstone or sulphur changes from a liquid to a gas. Revelations 21:8 says “But the fearful, and unbelieving … shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.” A lake of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, or 444.6C (Above this point it would be a vapor, not a lake.) We have, then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than Hell at 445C. – “Applied Optics”, vol. 11, A14, 1972
gollark: This is because it canonically receives 50 times the light Earth does.
gollark: Heaven is in fact hotter.
gollark: Hell is known to be maintained at a temperature of less than something like 460 degrees due to the presence of molten brimstone.
gollark: Despite humans' constant excretion of excess water, holy water levels are actually maintained in the body through the actions of the holicase enzyme.

See also

References
  1. Party Program, Communist Party of the Russian Federation
  2. Communist leader proposes reinstatement of death penalty for terrorists, RIA Novosti
  3. "Western hegemonism," bitch!
  4. https://jamestown.org/program/zyuganov-apologizes-for-anti-semitic-remarks-of-comrades/
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