Bohemian Grove

The Bohemian Club is a male-only exclusive private club north of San Francisco, California. Every year in mid-July the it hosts a three week encampment at what is known as the Bohemian Grove, that is attended by some of the most powerful people in the world. Naturally this has attracted lots of speculation of what is going on there; because when rich people meet, it's obviously evil. People attending are discouraged from talking shop, but it invariably happens.

Some dare call it
Conspiracy
What THEY don't want
you to know!
Sheeple wakers
v - t - e
We had jazz concert. We had rope trick. This morning we went bird-watching.
Henry Kissinger
That’s where all those rich Republicans go up and stand naked against redwood trees, right?
Bill Clinton
It is the most faggy goddamn thing you could ever imagine.
Richard Nixon

Conspiracy

Alex Jones is convinced that there are satanic gay rituals that go down when all the rich people get together,[1] because they burn an effigy in a ceremony called the Cremation of Care. The "ceremony" is narrated by Walter Cronkite from speakers inside a giant owl. Naturally Alex Jones thinks all of this is very evil and horrible things must be happening, despite the fact he literally walked in without trouble one year to watch the ceremony. Conspiracy theorist Mark Dice claims that the idea of the nuclear bomb was first conceived at the Grove (a planning meeting for the S-1 Executive CommitteeFile:Wikipedia's W.svg, which coordinated early research that laid the groundwork for the Manhattan Project, did indeed take place at the Bohemian Grove on September 13, 1942[2], but that is a small footnote in the Manhattan Project timelineFile:Wikipedia's W.svg) and also claims that one can obtain a "PhD in Bohemian Grove Studies" by watching a couple of his flawless YouTube videos.[3] In 2012, Dice, Jones, Cindy Sheehan and numerous other Truthers actually traveled to the Bohemian Grove to protest against the meeting and to wake up the sheeple.[4] On top of this, many, many videos exist of Satanic rituals caught on camera in the Bohemian Grove.[5] That must be an easy place to sneak into, isn't it?

Truth

The Cremation of Care is thought to more symbolize the participants burning away their worries for the next few weeks. Most of the people there have vast responsibilities, and they get to party it up for three weeks without anyone watching. The owl symbolizes knowledge, from the goddess Athena most likely. Even the very word "bohemian" adds to this.

Philip Weiss, writer for the satirical (yet occasionally investigative) Spy magazine, managed to infiltrate the Bohemian Grove in 1989.[6] He mainly came to the impression that the festivity was similar to a camping trip among men, but with very important people in attendance who are allowed the rare liberty of not having to act statesman-like or wield their burdensome political/economical powers for a short while, instead engaging in encouraged idleness or in acts of rowdiness like publicly urinating near a tree, beer in hand, despite a sign warning: "Gentlemen please! No pee pee here!" and while listening to a piano valeted by a artist-hireling situated somewhere to lighten up the grove with the distant sound of some sweet serenades. Many attendants likened the Bohemian Grove experience to "having great sex."

gollark: Er... no.
gollark: Haskell.
gollark: You know, if you think about it, the entire system of social media is an optimizer for clicks/viewws.
gollark: http://www.decisionproblem.com/paperclips/index2.html
gollark: There's a *game* about that but with paperclips.

Sources

  • The Greatest Men's Party on Earth: Inside the Bohemian Grove by John Van der Zee (1974) ISBN 0151369054. A straightforward look at the Grove by an undercover journalist posing as a waiter.

References

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