McChicken (5e Race)

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McChicken

"Deliciously crispy chicken topped with mayonnaise, shredded lettuce, and served on a perfectly toasty bun."

Physical Description

McChicken-chan, a McChicken Bard

McChicken come in many shapes and sizes. Some choose to appear humanoid, while others make the choice to always appear as sandwiches, though all McChicken may switch between either form. In their humanoid forms, all McChicken have hair that is the color of their bun, and eyes to match their tomatoes... which means they don't have eyes unless you specifically order them. Their skin is always toasty, and they always look surprisingly delicious, yet affordable.

History

On the peak of Mount Donalds, a disgraced jester looked to get back at the king who had disgraced him. Screaming and crying to the heavens for aid, the jester's wish was granted. A being of pure tenderness and juiciness descended upon him, and thus, the first McChicken came into being.

Much of the McChicken history after this is lost, but we are aware that the McChicken have a debatably unfortunate history. While overpopulation and what seemed to be a lack of any celestial traits at all caused them to be hunted for their delicious carcass, the McChicken was soon found to be sentient, and became a favorite friend of the spare prince for any kingdom. Many famous McChicken have committed the crime of killing royalty, including the great thieves guild leader Johnny Bigbuns, who killed the entire royal family of Beefland and brought the Wendy family to the throne. McChicken are forever tainted as criminals because of this use they served to evil. Some work to prove others wrong, while some work to cement their place in the criminal world.

Society

McChicken are solitary creatures, often believing those around them to be not quite as wise as they are. McChicken will usually find holes in trees or homes that other animals have abandoned and they will make them their own, living in solitude forever. They are quite defensive of things they see as their own, and quite clever in defending them. They will often have spells set up to alert them to intruders and become their sandwich form, only to blast the intruder when they are in a prime spot to be blasted. However, some McChicken join guilds and rise through the ranks, their ageless immortality allowing them to get to high ranks, some even eventually running the guilds. Their impressive wit makes them great allies to these organizations.

McChicken Names

Male: John, Kreg, Sir Arthur of Beefland

Female: Kylie, Terra, Madame Victoria of Chickenshlovakia

McChicken Traits

Just a great tasting chicken sandwich.
Ability Score Increase. Increase your Constitution score by 2, and your Wisdom score by 1.
Age. McChickens are filled with so many preservatives that they do not age.
Alignment. Usually neutral, but many McChickens have taken paths of great evil.
Size. McChicken have two forms. In your sandwich form, your size is Tiny. In your humanoid form, your size is Medium.
Speed. In your sandwich form, your base walking speed is 5 feet. In your humanoid form, your base walking speed is 30 feet.
Blindsight. McChicken do not have eyes, but you can see using blindsight, which has a range of 30 feet.
Multiformed. You have both a sandwich form and a humanoid form and may switch between the two at will.
Poisonous. The toxic chemicals used to make you cause certain death to any who eat you. On your turn, if you are currently swallowed by a creature, deal 1d6 poison damage to that creature. While you are swallowed you move with the creature who has swallowed you. You may escape from being swallowed by winning a Grapple contest.
Thingspeak. You can speak to three different objects before needing a long rest. You can select multiple objects at once, and the objects you select speak with you telepathically in a language you understand until you take a long rest, after which the effect resets and you may select three new objects.
Buns of Steel. When you aren't wearing armor, your AC is 12 + your Constitution modifier. You can use your natural armor to determine your AC if the armor you wear would leave you with a lower AC. A shield's benefits apply as normal while you use this natural armor.
False Appearance. If you are in your sandwich form, remain completely still, and have not been seen beforehand, you look exactly like a normal chicken sandwich. If these conditions are met, you may immediately make a Hide action with advantage, no matter the circumstances. Someone can discern you are alive by making an opposed Perception check against your original Hide roll.
Languages. You can speak, read and write Common, and McChicken. McChicken uses the Celestial script.


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gollark: Yes it would, if we replaced the entire boot process with a superior Rust program.
gollark: Evidence of the necessity of Rust monokernels.
gollark: ++delete java
gollark: ++remind 3mo obliterate java
gollark: Good idea!
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