Stax, 601 584 574 564 553 539 bytes
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Run and debug it
It does at least attempt to use different strategies for different pieces.
I've still got some hope for a few sections, but here's an explanation of the approaches so far.
The general approach is to push a bunch of stuff on the stack.
Then join it all together and split it in thirds.
' just a space
`jaH1"jS3!`X compressed literal for "Hello, World!" assigned to the x register
`38dZl;i#D]|@Y@*` compressed literal for "It's showtime talk to the hand"
^ convert to upper case; it compresses better in lower case
n'"|SY Wrap the x register in quotes and save it in the y register
`=j("sx6c1 ob`^ compressed literal for "you have been terminated" in upper
."9 literal for '"9'
yrD register y (quoted hello world), reversed, first character dropped
"ck,@ " literal
"^h{ai{W>bJ,^T+NLDK(G$s@+"! crammed array [725, 101597559, 354, 45325875, 1115935, -65, -85335]
$"5a9+"|t concat as strings, then map '5' to 'a' and '9' to '+'
`='9%[mh++PxF!` compressed literal for " Take Circle Line to "
`~J@[E<`n compressed literal for "Paddington"; copy the one about the circle
`jj_kmZ5` compressed literal for "Wood Lane"
n7T copy " Take Circle Line to " and truncate last 7 characters
"alert'"x'' some literals and x register
`~lLKPq'III^) .tI:G8?uMolVwpnT&u#` compressed literal with commas in place of semi-colons
.,;|t replace with semi-colons, which aren't allowed in compressed literals
`/zOXzN`",data,{s:bits8[],`x\0_;}`cC,main(){`cC,puts(,address,s);` C,return(0);} ".,"|t
compressed literal for "foreign", followed by a string template
"Nm\{<\3VdH,FF:c~7&u!n"96|E carefully chosen string literal interpreted in base 96
"eawu":B encoded in custom base "eawu"
`dzJxVHC"`'{`pS7yzeENLM%_'` two compressed literals with a '{' in the middle
"(String[]a){System." literal
x6) last 6 characters of register x
"`");}}" literal with escaped uote
"0;pKll>r&.sSP}JLNL==(>eP>-2\6fc8|)4&.:,1jA66O{t0>GpALk4I{.iDM:Gr_50ga"
90|E literal of ascii characters decoded in base 90
"[+-><],.":B re-encoded with a custom base of brainfuck
72:/ split at position 72
~ push the right half to the input stack, effectively the beginning
" `yo| :after{content:`y H;e;P1;@/;W;o;/l;;o;Q/r;l;d;2;P0 ('&%:9]!~}|z2Vxwv-,POqponl$Hjihf|B@@>,=<M:9&7Y#VV2TSn.Oe*c;(I&%$#`"mCBA?zxxv*Pb8``qo42mZF.{Iy*@dD'<;_?!\}}|z2VxSSQ main(){puts("
big string template including y register a few times
y9( first 9 characters of y
Lr$ wrap all stacks in array and concatenate
3Mm split into 3 equal parts and print as lines
9I'm cautiously hopeful that the patchwork of kinds of text in the header will encourage more tailored approaches than the generic text compression methods that plague kolmogorov complexity challenges. – xnor – 2019-06-15T01:05:32.767
1@xnor Yeah, there are multiple "Hello, World"s, but then the BF and evil likely have their own interesting compression. – Daniel M. – 2019-06-15T01:10:50.527
5Just an FYI the naive bubblegum answer is 594 bytes. – FryAmTheEggman – 2019-06-15T04:10:07.300
@FryAmTheEggman I get 588 – my pronoun is monicareinstate – 2019-06-15T14:21:56.610
4That
System.alertis triggering – Benjamin Urquhart – 2019-06-15T16:14:03.007What header is this? Mine appears to start with
– Mast – 2019-06-16T12:05:32.193Circle.@Mast Inspect element on the header and look at the css background-img. It's a bit clearer if you look at the header from the meta site. – Daniel M. – 2019-06-16T12:49:27.353
@DanielM. Oops, just saw that. Comment deleted. – Redwolf Programs – 2019-06-16T15:22:57.753