Zanna, Don't!

"I'm a one-woman woman

And you're wastin' my time."
"I Ain't Got Time"

Zanna, Don't! is an Off-Broadway musical by Tim Accio. It was written in 2002 and ran its Off-Broadway run 2003. It was to get a run on Broadway, but talk of that has largely tapered off. It takes place in an Alternate Universe where chess is cool, football is weird, and everybody is gay.

The show revolves around the character Zanna, resident matchmaker, magic practitioner and student at Heartsville High. In the course of the story, he hooks up Mike and Steve, and Roberta and Kate. Disaster strikes when Steve and Kate fall in love, causing them to be ostracized. In an attempt to make everything better, Zanna permanently flips their world into our world. Now everyone is straight and he's the odd one out. But everyone learns to get along in the end.


Tropes used in Zanna, Don't! include:

Mike: You looked perfect!

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