The X's/Quotes

AAIIEE, Robot [1.1]

Mr. X: Kids, if I told you once, I told you a thousand times. There's only one thing to do with a villians secret base. Destroy, Destroy!

Robomom: (out of control) Destroy!

Mr. X: Oh no!

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Tuesday X: (to Mrs. X, after she breaks her foot) Home Base says you'll be on your feet in no time.

Home Base: Actually, I said six-to-eight weeks.

Tuesday X: Home Base ...

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Home Base: The ambassador of Pandrafia is in town to visit the museum of art. Your assignment is to protect him from those who may wish him harm.

Tuesday X: Like who?

Home Base: Mmm...practically everyone. He's a real jerk.

Mission: Irresponsible [1.2]

Truman: I can't believe you guys stayed up all night playing Moon Raider 7.

Tuesday: That is so irresponsible.

Mr. X: Young lady! As team leader I will not have my decisions questioned!

Photo Ops [1.3]

Home Base: X's!!! I regret to inform you that SUPERIOR is furious! Once again, you've nearly blown your cover. They insist that you immediately do something to prove that you can act like a normal family, or, you will all be fired!

Tuesday: (gesturing around the living room) How are we ever gonna act like a normal family?! I mean, look at this place! Normal families don't have a remote control with a launch button! Normal families don't have exploding lawn gnomes! Normal families don't have portraits of themselves fighting giant robot squids!

Boy's Best Friend [1.4]

Mr. Fix It [1.5]

Mr. X: Greetings fellow suburbanite!

Neighbor: Howdy, neighbor! Out walking your- (looks down at robot) -dog? Oh, I see he's got one of them cones to stop him from biting himself, heh, and no head.

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Mr. X: I have to...grout the dollies, or something!

Doommates [1.6]

Secret Agent Manual [1.7]

Mr. X: (to Truman) You dare question the manual? The manual is law! The manual must be obeyed. Do not anger the manual!

The Spy Who Liked Me [1.8]

To Err Is Truman [1.9]

No More Mrs. Nice X [1.10]

Mrs. X: A tranquility retreat? That's- ...a great idea!

Tuesday X: Huh?

Mrs. X: I can keep myself sharp by getting my tranquility to retreat!

Home Base: I believe the intent is to make you more tranquil-

Tuesday X: (elbowing Home Base) You're right mom! Isn't she, Home Base?

Home Base: What? Oh, I see! We're lying!

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Tuesday X: Mom, don't you think you got a little bit carried away?

Home Base: You can be just a wee bit...gut-wrenchingly terrifying.

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Mrs. X: Hey! If beating up a few hundred civilians is wrong, I don't wanna be right, baby.

On Her Majesty's Postal Service [1.11]

Mr. X: (shaking Truman's explosive) Oh, there! The way you had this set up, it would've exploded!

Truman X: (incredulously) It's supposed to explode!

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Mr. X: Don't look at these codes! They're secret!

Mrs. X: Dear? Those are ZIP codes.

Mr. X: ...who told you that?

Pinheads [1.12]

Mr. X: Touchdown!

Tuesday X: No no no, it's a strike.

Mr. X: Pfft, a strike is when you miss three times.

Tuesday X: No it isn't!

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Brandon: Uh, listen, Uncle G-Face? Can I take off? I have a lot of...homework, and stuff.

Glowface: No way Manuel! You just don't wanna have to fight your girlfriend! (mockingly) Stop beating me up, Tuesday! Oh, ow! Ow! You so strong!

Brandon: What are you, twelve?

From Crusha with Love [1.13]

Xcitement [1.14]

You Only Sneeze Twice [1.15]

Lorenzo Suave: (to Tuesday X) I've spent my entire life training for this moment! Except Wednesday nights, I have a pottery class.

X Takes a Holiday [1.16]

Glowface: Surrender, you fools! You cannot defeat me!

Tuesday X: What are you talking about? We always defeat you!

Glowface: ...Did you have to bring that up? I mean, I got feelings too, you know! I mean, how would you like it if I pointed out all of your shortcomings? Like those tacky stockings?!

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Mrs. X: What did we just eat?

Mr. X: (looking at menu) Les yeux de cochon frit.

Mrs. X: And what's that?

Waiter: Fried pig's eyeballs.

Mr. X: (gagging)

Mrs. X: Fun.

Mock Tutors [1.17]

Mr. X: Alright Home Base, we're gonna need a tennis field.

Home Base: No. I believe it's a tennis court sir.

Mr. X: Tennis field, now!

Meddle Mouth [1.18]

Family Issues [1.19]

Mr. X: Looks like there will be no problem solving this no problems problem!

Mrs. X, Tuesday, and Truman: Huh?

Mr. X: Exactly.

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Tuesday X: (to Mr. X) Dad, if you want to tan, you're gonna have to take off your suit.

Mr. X: Ah, that's just what the sun's expecting me to do.

Truman's Choice [1.20]

Wealth vs. Stealth [1.21]

Mr. X: They gave me a solid uranium watch! See? It glows in the dark! And in the light!

Wee House [1.22]

Glowface: (to Lorenzo Suave) I'll make a giant inflatable suit! ...You're just pretending to be interested, aren't you?

Lorenzo Suave: No no no, nothing fascinates me more than a big bag of hot air.

Glowface: Yeah, it is pretty darn- wait, was that sarcasm?!

Lorenzo Suave: (sarcastically) No.

Glowface: ...Good!

Truman X: Super Villian [1.23]

A Truman Scorned [1.24]

Sasquatch: Puny X's! Sasquatch command army of moles! Sasquatch make them hollow out entire planet! Soon Earth will collapse like empty egg shell!

Tuesday X: If they hollow out the whole planet, where are they gonna put all the dirt?

Sasquatch: Sasquatch...not...think about...quiet, you!

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Kimla: (about Sasquatch) And that monster is clearly just some bad actor in a cheap fur suit! (rips off Sasquatch's fur)

Sasquatch: OW! Sasquatch not some bad actor! Sasquatch very good actor!

Y's Up [1.25]

Glowface: Ooh, the Y's! Lorenzo, how's my hair?

Lorenzo Suave: You have none, sir.

Glowface: Then fetch me some!

Quit Your Day Job [1.26]

Missing Home [1.27]

Home Base: (to the X's) In addition, you have appalling taste in footwear.

Mr. X: No one insults our shoes! Get outta my house!

Home Base: (angrily) I AM your house.

Mr. X: Then we'll get out. We don't need you, Mr. Smarty-House.

Live and Let Diaper [1.28]

In-Law Enforcement [1.29]

Train Rex [1.30]

Homebody [1.31]

The Haunting of Home Base [1.32]

Accidental Hero [1.33]

Untied [1.34]

Theater of War [1.35]

Mrs. X: (to Tuesday) You can't lose to a Y!

Mr. X: Y's must never beat X's!

Truman: Want me to atomize her for you, Tues?

Mrs. X: Atomize her?! We want her to suffer!

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Mr. X: Ahh, how I love the theatre! You know, I spent a year undercover in the Regal Shakespeare Company.

Tuesday: You were their janitor.

Mr. X: Yes, yes. And I received excellent reviews!

Breaking Camp [1.36]

Mr. X: (to Truman) No, no, no no no! You have got to feel the bunny's inner pain! The psychological conflict that shapes his bunnyness! Now be the bunny! Be the bunny.

Truman: ...what?

Mr. X: Hop.