< The Bard's Tale

The Bard's Tale/Funny


  • The 2004 The Bard's Tale has quite a few of these, many of which come when you choose the snarky option during dialogues.
    • You can also get some fun reading on the descriptions for your summons and bonus artifacts. For example, when describing the rat.

Narrator: A common rat. I was of course referring to the animal and not the bard.

      • Hell, the Narrator (voiced by the fantastic late Tony Jay) is just hilarious in general, in his own Deadpan Snarker way. Especially when he and the Bard (as voiced by Cary Elwes) start bickering.

Narrator: All hail the Bard, Rat Killer and Rodent Bane, who has bravely made the cellars once again safe for buxom barmaids and wanton widows! ...Or has he?
A giant rat sneaks up from behind and breathes fire, engulfing the Bard and forcing him to retreat
(later)
Narrator: All hail the Bard, Rat Killer and Rodent Bane, who has bravely ma-
Bard: [snappily] How 'bout you tell the story and leave the sarcastic patronising to me?

    • The little exchange betwen them when you kill your first encounter with a standard wolf is a gem, too:

Narrator: The Bard having slain the random wolf found that it had digested not only the contents of a small treasury but also various household goods... Wait, am I reading that correctly? That can't be right.
Bard: You'd be surprised. I find all kinds of things inside these beasties. Did I ever tell you about the time I killed this rat and out popped an entire chest...
Narrator: Well, I'm just going to skip those passages in the future.
Bard: What? That's a major source of income! You cheap, good for nothing horse's...
Narrator: Ahem. And so the Bard continued on his journey.

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