Princess Celestia Hates Tea

Not even gravity defying teapots can make her enjoy it.

A MLP:FiM Fanfic by Skywriter, centered around Celestia and run on pure hilarity.

For thousands of years, Celestia was thought to be inseperable from her tea. For thousands of years, Celestia's loving subjects showered her with gifts of tea pots, exotic tea flavors, and tea parties. For a thousand years, Celestia put on a smile for her subjects.

But the truth is, Celestia hates tea. She's hated it since day one. And when her faithful student Twilight Sparkle returns from an ambassadorial mission with a preset of a new tea flavor, Celestia decides to come clean with her millenia-old secret. What's the worst that can happen?

Can be found here.

Tropes used in Princess Celestia Hates Tea include:
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Celestia incapacitates all of the ponies assaulting her [1], cloaks herself in flames, and destroys part of the Royal Castle to announce that yes, she is Celestia, and no, she doesn't like tea.
  • The Chains of Commanding: Celestia pretends to like tea again after seeing how important it is to her subjects. Her devotion to her subjects is the only thing keeping her from retching with every sip.
  • Completely Missing the Point: After Celestia proves to Twilight that she is the real Celestia and she doesn't like tea, Twilight, in an effort to preserve her worldview, assumes that Celestia is discorded and doesn't like tea because of that. And then forces her to relive every memory of "enjoying tea" to "restore her."
  • Downer Ending: Celestia is forced to pretend to like tea again, because of the obscene amount of chaos that will occur if people think she hates tea.
  • Easily Forgiven: True to her character, Celestia forgives Twilight for throwing wild accusations that got herself blasted by magic and assaulted by her own guards. And blowing up her castle and the ensuring political mess.
  • Humiliation Conga: By the simple act of confessing she doesn't like tea, Celestia turns Twilight, the other Elements of Harmony, her own royal guards, her sister against her, and sends her nation into a state of uproar.
  • Masquerade: Celestia hates tea, while the whole world believes it to be her favorite drink. And nopony will believe otherwise.
  • Mind Rape: Played for Laughs, as just like restoring her friends from being discorded, Twilight forces Celestia to relive every time she drank tea to "restore her".
  • Physical God: Celestia finally lets loose to prove she is the real Celestia. And to announce she doesn't like tea.
  • Rule of Funny: Why is such a big deal made over the fact that Celestia doesn't like tea? How is Twilight's paranoid ramblings able to turn Celestia's own guards against her? How come nopony can cast a simple identification spell? Because it'd be funnier otherwise, of course.
  • Serious Business: Tea. There are enough ponies with tea-related Cutie Marks to pack the palace audience hall tighter than a can of sardines.
  • Snowball Lie: It's mind-boggling to consider how much of Equestria's political stability hinges around people thinking Celestia enjoys drinking tea. And it all started with a little white lie to spare a well-meaning Luna's feelings.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Deconstructed for laughs. Everyone in Equestria and beyond adamantly believes tea is Celestia's favorite beverage. When she tries to come clean and admits that she actually hates the stuff, her subjects refuse to believe it and accuse her of being the Changeling Queen or being Discorded.
  • Twitchy Eye: Celestia develops one when Twilight announces that she is going to make her relive thousands of years of tea-drinking experiences to "cure" her.
  • What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous? - Type 4: Celestia doesn't like tea! She must be the Changeling Queen!
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Celestia is acting out-of-character (or so Twilight thinks) by confessing she hates her favorite beverage, and so assumes the Changeling Queen has taken her place.
    • The Royal Guard is quick to turn on Celestia, because they learned their lesson the last time they ignored Twilight's warnings.
  1. ↑ The Elements of Harmony, several royal guards, and the other Physical God, Luna
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