Narm/Tabletop Games

• In the Mekton adventure Operation: Rimfire, Lord Dremmond's death scene description is, and I quote: "Though as nails, he gets one dying speech" (followed by a twenty-seven lines such speech) before any PC can finish him off. That would be not a Rasputinian Death but a vanilla Final Speech, were not his death in the middle of a frantic close-quarters battle with the whole Rimfire flight crew gang-banging him with all sort of weapons, including lightsabers, in an alien spaceship full of mosters about to be psychically awakened by him -which really gives the PCs no reason at all to cease fire until well after he is Deader Than Dead. Which every group of players, routinely, does.. After that, he detonates a hard-radiation nuke. And survives.
• One DnD supplement introduced the Vigilante prestige class, which is essentially Batman IN FANTASY! So how does this end up narmic? The sample vigilante's name is Beasley Bigums. He sounds less like an avenging vigilante and more like a minor P.G. Wodehouse character.
  • And he's a halfling, for that matter.
• Speaking of Dungeons & Dragons, the Gelatinous Cube, while specifically evolved to absorb unwitting adventurers via its translucency (which apparently amounts to invisibility under DnD rules,) generally just seems hilarious, earning it a special place in the hearts of many DnD fans.
• Exalted: the map at the end of Return of the Scarlet Empress shows how the world will look if the Yozi Reclamation goes off without a hitch. The order-obsessed She Who Lives In Her Name gets the largely oceanic West...and forms the islands into perfect squares, arranged in sets of four that make it look like the Reclamation was sponsored by Microsoft.
  • One imagines that to be the point-SWLiHN is more than a little obtuse.
• In the Wraeththu RPG, there is an Uigenna war chant with the most ridiculous threats. "I want to be your scream of agony/ As your damned soul goes foom!"
• Magic: The Gathering: there are a lot of potential terms for Phyrexian zombies...why in the name of Freyalise did they choose to have a few Mirrans refer to them as "rotters"? It's a plane made of metal...not a plane made of random Britishness.
• Spawn of Azatoth, a campaign for Call of Cthulhu (tabletop game) contains a moment where the investigators go diving in Florida where one might encounter a... KILLER DOLPHIN

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