Everything's Better with Monkeys/Quotes

"What, you think 'Gorilla Grodd' came out of nowhere? You think Superman fought a giant ape or Jimmy Olsen became hirsute out of random chance? Hell no, boys and girls: It was canny marketing. Big monkeys get kids picking up funnybooks. Simple as that."

—'Peter David, in the forward to The Adventures of Barry Ween, Boy Genius, Volume 3: "Monkey Tales"

"Maybe it's just me, but I'm not crazy about super hero stories where everything's all dark and moody. Personally, I like the ones where good guys fight giant apes on the moon and stuff. Remember those?"

—'Doreen Green, a.k.a. Squirrel Girl

"When in doubt, add monkeys!"

—The First Rule of Drama, attributed to Lee Unkrich

"All great movies have monkeys! Chairman of the Board had a monkey! No wait, that was Carrot Top, who I think is a monkey."

—Chester A. Bum on Kung Fu Panda

"We have to see the chimp playing hockey. That's hilarious. The ice is so slippery, and-and monkeys are all irrational. We have to see this."

—Anya, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Abe Sapien: Is that a monkey?"

Hellboy: He's got a gun!

—Box Full Of Evil

"Monkey!"

—Koopa, Super Mario Bros

"The funny thing is, Gorilla-Man appears on covers no matter how much he's involved in a story. We can tell cover artists "this focuses mainly on Namora," and there will still be a gorilla on that cover. Artists like drawing apes, and who am I to stop them?"

—Jeff Parker, comic book writer

If I had a million dollars,
I'd buy you a monkey,

Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

—Barenaked Ladies, "If I Had a Million Dollars"

"Monkeys make everything better!"

—Ned Bigby, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

(Jeff is interviewing a monkey during a Terrible Interviewees Montage)
Jeff: I have always wanted a monkey!
(Donkey Kong falls onto the monkey.)

Jeff: I have always wanted a monkey wearing a tie!

—Bowser's Kingdom episode 6

"Anything with monkeys in it? At least 12% better than anything without monkeys in it."

"I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs -- now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!"

—Jack Sparrow to Joshamee Gibbs, Pirates of the Caribbean

"One of the best uses for a monkey, is to make everyone pay attention to the monkey"

—Karl Tagon

"He's got the monkeys! We love the monkeys!"

—"Prince Ali", Aladdin