Megan Phelps-Roper

Megan Phelps-Roper (born January 31, 1986) is a former member and spokesperson of the Westboro Baptist Church. Her mother is Shirley Phelps-Roper and her grandfather is the church's founder Fred Phelps. She grew up in Topeka, Kansas in a compound with other members of the church. She was taught the Westboro Baptist Church doctrine and at 13 she was baptised as a member of the church.

Megan Phelps-Roper
Megan Phelps-Roper giving a TED Talk in January 2017 in New York City.
Born (1986-01-31) January 31, 1986
Topeka, Kansas, U.S.
Alma materWashburn University
Known forLeaving and publicly criticizing the Westboro Baptist Church
RelativesShirley Phelps-Roper (mother)
Nathan Phelps (uncle)
Fred Phelps (grandfather)

Phelps-Roper participated in the church's protests against homosexuality and other perceived sins. She picketed various events including the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks and the funerals of soldiers who died in the War in Afghanistan and the War in Iraq. In 2009 she became an active member on Twitter to preach the church's doctrine. Phelps-Roper began to doubt her beliefs when Twitter users pointed out contradictions in Westboro Baptist Church's doctrine and a nine-person council took over the church's decision-making process. She also disagreed with church elders that pressured her into posting doctored photos of the church picketing events such as the British Royal Wedding and the funeral of Whitney Houston.

Phelps-Roper left the church in 2012 after she was unable to reconcile her doubts with her beliefs. Following her departure, Phelps-Roper became a prominent critic of the group's philosophy and practices. She travels around the world to speak about her experience in the church and advocate dialogue between groups with conflicting views. She is a member of Twitter's Trust and Safety Council and works with law enforcement agencies to combat extremist groups. In 2019 she released her memoir Unfollow: A Journey from Hatred to Hope, leaving the Westboro Baptist Church.

Biography


Early life

Phelps-Roper was born in Topeka, Kansas and she is the eldest of nine children to Shirley Phelps-Roper and Brent Roper.[1][2] Her grandfather is Fred Phelps and she has Scottish ancestry.[3] She was raised in the Westboro Baptist Church and lived in a compound in south-west Topeka. This compound was surrounded by a tall fence and included the church, houses for members, adjoining backyards, a trampoline, running track, playground and swimming pool.[1]

Megan Phelps-Roper was raised in the Westboro Baptist Church. The church sign is pictured here.

Phelps-Roper's belief system was shaped by the Westboro Baptist Church's interpretation of the bible. Every Sunday, her family attended her grandfather's service and listened to him preach the church’s interpretation of Calvinist doctrine.[1] Church elders reinforced their beliefs and encouraged Phelps-Roper to memorise bible passages. The bible was also used to justify the group's protests and provide counter-arguments to people who disagreed with them.[4] Phelps-Roper later stated that the church's strict beliefs were reinforced because "as a child, it is physically beaten into you"[5][6] and stated that she was regularly spanked during her childhood and teenage years.[1] Phelps-Roper was also exposed to pop culture and ideas which contradicted her beliefs while she attended public school.[1]

As a child, Phelps-Roper felt happy being close to her extended family members, both in her relationships and her physical proximity to them. She described herself as an obedient child who worked hard to win the approval of her parents. She also felt a sense of purpose and comfort by having a solution to every problem that was supposedly scripturally supported.[7] Her parents forbade her from having romantic relationships with people who were not members of the church.[1]

Within the Westboro Baptist Church

At 13, Phelps-Roper was baptised into the Westboro Baptist Church by her grandfather. The ceremony included a profession of faith and becoming a full member of the church. It took place in the compound's swimming pool.[3]

In middle school, Phelps-Roper made friends that were not part of the group and participated in extracurricular activities including running track,[1] volleyball and musical theatre.[8] When she was profiled as an adult, she was described as having acquaintances outside of the church, but no real friends.[3] When interviewed in 2013 about future romantic prospects, she stated she did not believe she would get married because of the low amount of men in the group that were not related to her.[9]

Phelps-Roper graduated from Washburn University and worked at Phelps Chartered, her family's law firm, as a business administrator. She also appeared as a regular guest on a Kansas City morning show, "Afentra’s Big Fat Morning Buzz".[3] In 2011 Phelps-Roper appeared in Louis Theroux’s documentary America's Most Hated Family in Crisis. One clip includes Phelps-Roper’s explanation of her contact with four Dutch filmmakers. After watching the documentary her father insisted that she block the Dutch filmmakers on Twitter and limit her time on the platform. She complied with these demands to remove her focus on earthly matters. During this time Phelps-Roper began planning the church’s picket schedule after her mother was accused of not following church doctrine.[1]

Doubting Westboro Baptist Church doctrine

At 13, Phelps-Roper began doubting Westboro Baptist Church’s theology because of the friendships she made at her local public school. She started to believe that the students were not evil, as had been preached to her by church elders.[8] She also experienced doubts in 2009 after the death of Britanny Murphy. While her family celebrated the actress’ death, Phelps-Roper felt an emotion closer to sadness. She chose not to release a celebratory post on Twitter, as had been done in the past with other celebrity deaths.[1]

As an adult, Phelps-Roper continued to doubt the church's doctrine and also discovered contradictions within scripture. The first inconsistency was pointed out to her by David Abitbol, a Jewish Twitter user who Phelps-Roper publicly contacted to encourage him to repent of his sins.[1] Phelps-Roper’s mother was not married to her first son's father when the child was born, which is considered a sin in the Westboro Baptist Church and that the appropriate punishment is the death penalty. However, church elders stated that Shirley repented for her sins and was forgiven by God. Abitbol pointed out that if Phelps-Roper's mother had been put to death for her sin she would not have the opportunity to repent.[8] Phelps-Roper decided to stop carrying signs which called for the death penalty for sins, but she also ceased communicating with Abitbol so her beliefs would not be further challenged.[1]

Phelps-Roper continued to disagree with the church’s happiness over celebrity deaths and events that seemed tragic to people outside their group. A user known as C.G. would discuss tragic events with Phelps-Roper and asked her to consider the deceased family’s response to her church’s joy. In 2011, Phelps-Roper burst into tears after seeing a picture of a malnourished child living through the Somalia famine. Meanwhile, her mother created a blog post that praised God for the drought, which Phelps-Roper believed was the incorrect response for the church to make.[1]

Another point of contention was how decision-making within the church changed.[5] Previously, the church employed a consensus decision-making model and women had influential roles in this process. In 2011 a council of nine male church elders met separately from other members and decided to make church decisions by themselves.[1] Phelps-Roper felt the process of changing the decision-making structure violated scripture and went against the groups' concept of leadership.[10] In another instance, Phelps-Roper recalls a member who was asked to leave the church by a majority vote instead of unanimous consent. Phelps-Roper considered this a violation of their policies as dictated in the Bible. Female members were also encouraged to submit to their husbands and fathers and Phelps-Roper was barred from wearing clothing or colorful nail polish that her brother or father considered immodest. She rebelled against these changes because other members were given more leeway in their clothing choices by their fathers or husbands.[1]

Phelps-Roper also agreed with Twitter users who claimed that church members committed the sin of bearing false witness. Church members Photoshopped images and falsely claimed that they protested the Royal Wedding in the United Kingdom and Whitney Houston’s funeral. Phelps-Roper did not want to post these images on her Twitter feed but was pressured to do so by church elders.[10] She believed that if church members could lie about these protests, they could also be wrong about their church's doctrine.[5] She began believing that God was not guiding the church and that members were just people trying to interpret God's will.[4]

Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church

Phelps-Roper considered leaving the church in April 2012 after Blind Pilot played on the radio and she was reminded of her previous conversations with C.G. She disclosed her thoughts to her sister Grace, who convinced her to stay in the group. However, they discussed their theology with each other and continued planning on leaving. Phelps-Roper withdrew from picketing and speaking to reporters, fearing that her doubts would be revealed.[1] Phelps-Roper contemplated staying in the church and pretending to follow their beliefs, but quickly rejected this idea.[5]

In November 2012, Grace and Megan's father confronted them about a relationship Grace was having with another church member. During this discussion, Phelps-Roper encouraged her sister to leave the church with her and they announced their intention to leave to their parents. The two sisters stayed one night in Topeka in the basement of a former teacher before moving into their cousin's home in Lawrence, Kansas.[1] They then decided to move to South Dakota after visiting the state. During this transition Phelps-Roper refrained from posting on social media and devoted her time to reading books and thinking about their future.[9] She publicly announced that she has left the church after she discovered the church's planned protest of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. She stated that she did not want others to believe that her lack of response to the protest was a tacit agreement to the church’s actions.[7][11]

Life after leaving Westboro Baptist Church

Since leaving, Phelps-Roper has had limited contact with family members that are still part of the Westboro Baptist Church. She stated that she reaches out to her family by sending messages on Twitter but does not receive responses. She also uses Twitter to monitor changes in their beliefs and learn new information about her family’s personal lives.[5] Phelps-Roper also leaves cards and notes for her family at their home when she is in Topeka visiting other family members or at speaking engagements.[12] She does these actions to try to convince members to leave the church or soften their rhetoric at protests.[13]

She is married to Chad Fjelland, an attorney[14] whom she met through Twitter while advocating for the Westboro Baptist Church.[4] She kept her maiden name to, as she describes, “reform the legacy of the name.”[12] She also has a daughter who was born in 2018.[4]

In 2019 Phelps-Roper appeared in Louis Theroux's third documentary about the Westboro Baptist Church Surviving America's Most Hated Family. Theroux tells Phelps-Roper that two of her siblings are engaged to be married, which causes her to be upset. Theroux was criticised for including this footage in the documentary, with one reviewer stating the revelation exploited Phelps-Roper's emotions and was uncomfortable to watch.[15] Phelps-Roper defended Theroux's inclusion of the footage, stating that she wanted her family members to see her unfiltered reaction to this news.[16]

In October 2019, Phelps-Roper released a book Unfollow: A Journey from Hatred to Hope, leaving the Westboro Baptist Church. This memoir details her upbringing in the Westboro Baptist Church and her decision to leave her community and family.[7][12][5] The book started as an essay she wrote to her husband, detailing her childhood and how the two of them met. She sent the essay to a friend who encouraged her to write the book.[17]

Activism

Within Westboro Baptist Church
Megan Phelps-Roper protested with the Westboro Baptist, employing similar tactics to church members in this image.

Phelps-Roper began participating in the church's controversial protests against homosexuality when she was 5 years old, before she could read the signs she carried.[18] Early pickets took place in Gage Park, Topeka as part of her grandfather’s campaign to stop homosexuals from allegedly engaging in sexual intercourse at the park.[1] She also protested major historical events like the funeral of Matthew Shepard, the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks and the AIDS pandemic.[12] When she was 19 Phelps-Roper and the church picketed the funerals of deceased soldiers from the War in Afghanistan and the War in Iraq.[4] Before picketing a funeral, the church members would read the soldier's obituary and study pictures of the deceased.[8] She would also picket her public school during lunchtime[13] and local sporting events.[18]

Megan Phelps-Roper appeared with her family on the Howard Stern Show, pictured here in 2004.

Phelps-Roper gave her first live interview when she was 11 to radio DJs who called her house, wanting to interview her mother. When interviewers wanted the perspective of a younger member of the church, her mother would often have them interview Phelps-Roper.[1] She gave a variety of interviews with local news, documentary filmmakers and national talk shows like The Howard Stern Show.[19] Reporters and documentary filmmakers also frequently came to her home to speak with her and her family.[10] At 13, Phelps-Roper was debating Westboro Baptist Church sceptics in the church’s chat rooms[7] and was an active member of the church’s logistical and legal operations.[2]

In 2008, Phelps-Roper joined Twitter, but became an active member in 2009 after someone asked if the church was using the service.[1] Phelps-Roper preached the church's doctrine to celebrities and prominent users of the platform.[8] She liked using Twitter because it allowed her to share theology directly to people, instead of through a reporter.[1] She used a softer tone on the platform than she did during interviews because of the 140 character limit to each post and she wanted to avoid ending conversations after insulting the other user or having the conversation side-tracked by angry responses.[20] She justified her change in tone with the proverb, “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.”[1] Instead, her strategy on Twitter was to counter angry responses with bible verses, pop culture references and emojis. Then, she would engage in civil conversation to understand the other's viewpoint and convince them of her own.[19]

During this time the church focused on end-of-the-world prophecies. One of the church’s predictions was that 144 000 Jewish people would repent for killing Jesus, so church members focused their attention on preaching to Jewish people and finding these repenters.[1] Phelps-Roper sent messages to prominent Jewish Twitter users calling for them to repent and stop their Jewish rituals before they were sent to hell. David Abitbol responded by asking questions about her beliefs and engaging in theological discussions.[5] The two also met at various functions that Abitbol was attending and Phelps-Roper was protesting to exchange gifts.[19]

In 2010, Phelps-Roper filed a lawsuit claiming that Nebraska’s law against desecrating the American flag infringed on her free speech rights.[21] A federal judge overturned the law, and Phelps-Roper was awarded $8000 for her attorney fees, which was paid by the state of Nebraska.[22]

Phelps-Roper and her family created parodies of pop-culture songs spread the theology of Westboro Baptist Church. One of their most popular parodies was Ever Burn based on the Lady Gaga song Telephone.[23] The parody, sung by Phelps-Roper, changed the lyrics to claim that God will not listen to Lady Gaga's prayers and that she will be sent to hell.[24]

Post-Westboro activism

After leaving the Westboro Baptist Church, Phelps-Roper reconnected with Abitbol who convinced her to atone for and fix her mistakes in a Jewish concept called tikkun olam. She is committed to reaching out to people that she affected during her time with the group, including Jewish communities, homosexuals and the families of soldiers.[5] Phelps-Roper travelled around the United States speaking with groups that she previously protested.[8] She spoke at the Jewlicious festival in Long Beach, California at the invitation of David Abitbol.[1] She also accepted a one-month engagement with the Jewish community in Montreal in 2013[25] where she visited religious studies classes at Concordia University and spoke at a Jewish cultural festival.[26]

Phelps-Roper appeared in various media formats to promote her new values and beliefs. In January 2017 she presented a TED talk discussing her experiences growing up within the church and her journey towards her decision to leave.[19] In June 2017, she appeared on The Joe Rogan Experience podcast[27] and in 2018 appeared in the first episode of I Love You, America with Sarah Silverman.[28]

Phelps-Roper is a member of Twitter's Trust and Safety Council and advocates overcoming disagreements between political and religious groups.[10] She also works with law enforcement agencies to speak about deradicalizing members of extremist groups.[4]

Personal beliefs

Phelps-Roper is no longer a practising Christian and she also does not believe in God, remarking on Twitter in 2017, "Jesus had some lovely ideas—but also others that aren’t so helpful. I don’t reject the good because of the bad, or accept the bad because of the good."[29] She believes that the bible is a document which was written by people who were trying to understand God and how to be good. She also believes that other philosophies were developed by people who were trying to understand similar concepts.[4] However, she has stated that she is a “believer in humanity” and in that way still considers herself to be a believer.[5]

Phelps-Roper avoids using a "cult" label in describing the Westboro Baptist Church. She acknowledges that many of the group's behaviors are cultlike, such as cutting off contact with former members and believing that the end of the world is imminent. However, she notes that some of the Westboro Baptist Church's actions did not fit into the cult paradigm because she was not prevented from leaving the group and her parents helped her pack her belongings when she left the religion.[23]

Regarding Twitter, Phelps-Roper encourages the company to remove bots and posts which advocate harm to others. She does not believe the platform is toxic but does believe some of its users bring toxicity into Twitter conversations.[12] She wants users to be given more opportunities to choose who they can receive messages from and choose what posts appear on their feeds. However, she opposes social media companies that block people and remove their ideas from their platforms, and she wants companies to hold public debates on controversial ideas so users can learn about them and decide the best arguments and principles for themselves.[27] She also credits the platform with changing her views on the Westboro Baptist Church and allowing her to engage in dialogue with others.[12]

See also

References
  1. Chen, Adrian (November 23, 2015). "Conversion via Twitter". The New Yorker. Retrieved July 20, 2020.
  2. Tuttle, Kate (October 9, 2019). "Granddaughter Of Westboro Baptist Church Founder Chronicles Leaving In 'Unfollow'". NPR. Retrieved July 30, 2020.
  3. Arnett, Dugan (November 19, 2011). "Megan Phelps-Roper of Westboro Baptist Church: An heir to hate". The Kansas City Star. Retrieved August 5, 2020.
  4. Terry Gross (October 10, 2019). "How Twitter Helped Change The Mind Of A Westboro Baptist Church Member". Fresh Air (Podcast). WHYY-FM. Retrieved August 4, 2020.
  5. Martin, Michel (November 7, 2019). "Megan Phelps-Roper on Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church". Amanpour & Company. Retrieved August 5, 2020.
  6. "Inside the Westboro Baptist Church". Southern Poverty Law Center. Retrieved August 6, 2020.
  7. Padawer, Ruth (October 8, 2019). "At 5, She Protested Homosexuality. Now She Protests the Church That Made Her Do It". The New York Times. Retrieved August 5, 2020.
  8. Burns, Sarah (March 30, 2015). "Why Fred Phelps' granddaughter left Westboro Baptist Church". LasVegasSun.com. Retrieved August 5, 2020.
  9. Chu, Jeff (February 6, 2013). "Damsel, Arise: A Westboro Scion Leaves Her Church". Medium. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  10. Leon, Harmon (April 12, 2019). "No Longer a Hater: The Long, Strange Journey of Megan Phelps-Roper". Observer. Observer Media. Retrieved August 1, 2020.
  11. Batty, David (February 7, 2013). "Westboro Baptist church key member Megan Phelps-Roper leaves". The Guardian. Retrieved November 16, 2015.
  12. Wieberg, Steve (October 24, 2019). "Megan Phelps-Roper, coming to KC, left her Westboro family but still craves their love". The Kansas City Star. Retrieved August 5, 2020.
  13. Kembrey, Melanie (October 18, 2019). "'I was a monster': Why Megan Phelps-Roper left the extreme Westboro". The Sydney Morning Herald. Retrieved July 29, 2020.
  14. Dodd, Johnny (October 3, 2019). "Westboro Church Founder's Granddaughter Who Defected: I 'Still' Love My Family 'So Much'". People.com. Meredith Corporation. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  15. Mangan, Lucy (July 14, 2019). "Louis Theroux: Surviving America's Most Hated Family review – a deeply uncomfortable watch". the Guardian. Retrieved August 7, 2020.
  16. @meganphelps (July 14, 2019). "Louis's choice to tell me this on camera doesn't just make for a dramatic scene. He's showing my family—who have cut me out of their lives, but who will surely watch this documentary—my candid reaction to this news" (Tweet) – via Twitter.
  17. Childers, Brianna (October 8, 2019). "Megan Phelps-Roper returns to Topeka to launch book 'Unfollow'". The Garden City Telegram. Retrieved August 5, 2020.
  18. Guy Raz (October 27, 2017). "Megan Phelps-Roper: If You're Raised To Hate, Can You Reverse It?". NPR.org (Podcast). NPR. Retrieved July 31, 2020.
  19. "Megan Phelps-Roper: I grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church. Here's why I left | TED Talk". TED.com. Retrieved August 1, 2020.
  20. Shaitly, Shahesta (April 10, 2016). "Losing my religion: life after extreme belief". The Observer. Retrieved August 8, 2020.
  21. Gibson, Megan (September 4, 2010). "Mutilating the American Flag: Now O.K. in Nebraska". Time. Time USA LLC. Retrieved July 29, 2020.
  22. "Westboro Baptist Church". Anti-Defamation League. Retrieved July 29, 2020.
  23. Balcazar, Dahlia (December 19, 2019). "How One Woman Left the Hate Group She Grew Up In". The Cut. Retrieved August 6, 2020.
  24. "Lady Gaga Is 'Devil Spawn' in Westboro Baptist Church 'Telephone' Parody". Billboard. June 1, 2010. Retrieved August 6, 2020.
  25. "'We Hurt A Lot Of People,' Westboro Pastor's Granddaughter Says : The Two-Way : NPR". December 20, 2017. Archived from the original on December 20, 2017.CS1 maint: BOT: original-url status unknown (link)
  26. Hays, Matthew (October 28, 2013). "Granddaughters of an infamous homophobic U.S. pastor find grace in Montreal". The Globe and Mail. Phillip Crawley. Retrieved July 30, 2020.
  27. Joe Rogan (June 8, 2017). "JRE #974 - Megan Phelps-Roper". The Joe Rogan Experience (Podcast). Event occurs at 58:30. Retrieved August 4, 2020.
  28. "I Love You, America is chock full of empathy and naked people". The A.V. Club. Retrieved August 8, 2020.
  29. Phelps-Roper, Megan [@meganphelps] (June 11, 2017). "Jesus had some lovely ideas—but also others that aren't so helpful. I don't reject the good bc of the bad, or accept the bad bc of the good" (Tweet) – via Twitter.
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